Today I woke up to a very startling and gross site.

I’ll preface to say that most days, once my little man awakens, he heads straight to my and my hubby’s room. He then likes to get into the bed on my side and often times will, like a cat, lay outstretched over/on my head. When this happens, I do notice, I’m a very light sleeper. But I can still lay there with my eyes closed and try to will my body to wake up and start the day.

Today was no different. My hubby was already out of bed and getting ready for work. So then he came upstairs to kiss me good-bye and said, “Oh babe! Slowly move your head toward me and get out of the bed on my side and DON’T look at your pillow.”

I scooted toward him and then looked back at my pillow. THERE WAS POOP ALL OVER MY PILLOW! POOP. IN. MY. HAIR! I freaked out. Seth has had a serious constipation problem over the past year. Actually, he holds it in until his body forces it out. And I guess last night, his intestines said, “He’s sleeping. Let’s get this Shit OUT while he’s too tired to fight us.” So this morning when he woke up, he took his pants off because they were wet. (Luv’s diapers DO NOT hold like the Hoover dam like the commercial boasts. Course neither do the Pampers and Huggies for that matter.) And with his diaper full of poo, he decided to sit on my head and pull my hair as well as parts of my face, like he does every morning. What a way to wake up. Only he left me alittle extra somethin’.

But my hubby deserves props for telling me instead of just acting like nothing was wrong and high-tailing it out door. He admitted he was very tempted to just sneak out. He changed the stinky, mushy, hellacious-smelling diaper while I scrubbed my hair and scalp like a madwoman. The one good thing about it is that it took my mind off of the migraine that is coming on and slowly growing worse. And the big swig of sour milk I took this morning from a gallon I bought just yesterday. I can tell this is going to be a GOOD day!

Someone just shoot me now. Please?