Once upon a time, less than a week ago, there lived a sweet and adoreable beagle named Dallas.

Now in light of the holiday season — and all of the entertaining that comes with it — Dallas’ mommy brought home a four- pound box of chocolates.

One evening while her family was out, Dallas settled in on the couch to watch Air Bud. Because that Retriever? With his long, silky golden fur? Is just SO DREAMY! She was also feeling a bit moody and bored. So she did what most women do when they are alone at night and feeling sorta “meh”. She sniffed her empty food bowl in dismay. But then she remembered the box of chocolates.

Like most women, she told herself, “Oh, I’ll just have one.” And while she watched her hot-looking hero, she continued to eat. And eat, and eat, and eat. When her humans came home, they discovered Dallas all splayed out. Chocolate covered her face and paws. And to make matters worse? She ate them ALL! She hadn’t saved them one damn chocolate! Not even the nasty ones with the orange cremes!

The family freaked out and took her to the vet. They waited and watched. Watched and waited. The only problem the sassy, sugar-lovin’ pup encountered was a bellyache and probably some constipation issues.

The vet pronounced the fact that Dallas is still alive a Christmas miracle.

So now Dallas and her dad (Bob) will most likely be out walking a bit longer in the evenings. We may even see them pass by our house three or four times an evening as the chocolate has probably settled into her lower abdomen and thighs.

But we’re all just happy she’s ok. And if Abbey wants to have her over for a playdate, I’ll be prepared — I’ll hide my chocolate stash.