What’s in Lisa’s cheap but cute little bag? Well, wait and I’ll give you a minute by minute account, right as I’m pulling the junk out. Really exciting, huh? (This will also explain why I don’t own any expensive purses.)

*A 3-day old hamburger from McDonald’s that has fallen out of the wrapper. (I keep my purse in the car and its been cold. The entire sandwich is as hard as a hockey puck.
*Pickle from said burger (now stuck to bottom of purse).
*7-year-old cell phone that won’t turn on anymore. (I need a new phone, yes?)
*Wallet with two one-dollar bills shoved into it. And about $20 in coins.
*Approximately 500 receipts from various grocery stores, Target, and Walgreens. Most dating back to some time in ‘05.
*Small clear bag given to me by the vet during Abbeydog’s check-up in March of ‘05. I was supposed to put poop into the bag so they could test for worms. (Abbey’s poop — not mine or the boy’s. Although, I’m thinking maybe I should have the poop of both critters tested. Because with little boys you never know…)
*A hard candy that Seth put in his mouth and then spit into my purse while I must not have been looking. Apparently the dog sat on my purse at some point because there’s dog hair stuck to the candy.
*A lipstick I never use that’s stuck to the piece of doghaired-candy.
*A few receipts from our recent ski trip, stuck to the doghaired-candy.
*Three coupons for stuff I never buy and will never buy, stuck to the doghaired-candy.
*Crack pipe.
*Three small rocks. Maybe Seth’s way of saying that someday when he’s a brilliant doctor, businessman or male-stripper (I don’t care what he does — as long as he has a passion for his job and makes enough money to move out of our house), he plans on buying his mama a REAL nice rock?
*Hershey’s candy bar (in case of emotional emergencies).

Oh, the crackpipe was put in there just to see if you were paying attention. Its not really mine. Its my mom’s.

KIDDING!