A story for the ages
Posted on March 22, 2006
Filed Under Uncategorized |
Once upon a time there was a young, handsome engineer named Marc. When Marc was in his mid-20’s, he had a sweet little condo in the Central West End with his girlfriend. (She is now a very successful brain surgeon in Texas. Yes. A brain surgeon. But that’s a post for a later date.)
One Saturday as Marc slept late, he heard a knock at the door. Figuring it was a neighbor/golfing buddy, he got out of bed, thought nothing of his appearance, and opened door. He was greeted by a nicely dressed black woman and her son.
The woman immediately began to preach to Marc about the saving grace of God and the joys of loving Jesus. Marc was in such a sleep induced haze that he just stood there for a minute. Then he realized the woman’s son was staring open-mouthed at his midsection. All of a sudden, he felt a bit of a breeze in a place a man typically doesn’t feel a breeze.
And then he realized his penis was hanging out of his boxers. He hurriedly closed the door.
Marc learned a valuable lesson that day. He learned to never open the door wearing only boxers and a t-shirt.
And I’m guessing the little boy learned a valuable lesson that day too. That penises come in different colors — colors like “white man”.
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Last time the Jehova’s witnesses came to my door I made sure I was completely naked, holding a beer when I opened the door… The I invited them in.
Strange, they never came back around.
That’s a shame, because I wanted to ask them why if they believe that only 144,000 of them are going to heaven, why were they still going door to door trying to recruit more? I mean, c’mon, I’m sure they reached the quota around 1956, don’t ya think?
Yesterday I opened my front door and felt a similar breeze. Yes, I was already in pajama bottoms at 5 pm. If I could just figure out why all of my pj bottoms get a hole in the crotch…..
HA! I always wondered how they didn’t know it was hanging out - but it happens all the time (not like I’d know about it or anything)…
Way too funny! I guess that’s one thing we can count in our gender’s favor, all we have to worry about hanging out is our boobs. And how often does that happen, really? I mean, if you’re not breastfeeding.
It’s a flooper! That’s what we used to call it in high school. Or wait, maybe it was a schmecky, and a flooper is the one where your balls hang out the side.
Thanks for the laugh!
(can’t wait to hear about the brain surgeon)
Too funny! I was wearing a pair of yoga pants last week when my inlaws were over and I did not realize until I was on the floor playing with my son that my dog had chewed a hole in the crotch of them. Nice.
Well, that’s certainly one way to get rid of those pesky, unwanted visitors. Love it!
It was just his way of “showing them the Lord”
Win, Wink.
Why, why, why does stuff like that always happen?
Too classic.
(and poor Marc!)
BWAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHHA
So that’s the secret to stopping door-to-door soliciting!
Great story, I needed a giggle for the evening! Maybe Marc should consider sleeping in a nice pair of trap-door-free pants?
Funny enough - Ranger Tom - my uncle used to do the EXACT same thing when the Jehova’s witnesses came to the house. Open the door in ALL HIS GLORY….and just stand there……HAHAHA Poor things would just freeze for a couple of seconds unable to look away. I’m asuming they went and washed their eyes out after that LOL
The next time we are all eating with your mom and dad I want to ask Marc about this and see how red your mom’s face turns as we talk about it. HA! HA!