Seven years ago I promised Marc I’d put up with his stinky feet, abusive digestive system (he can literally stink up a house if he eats White Castle) and the kind of snoring that causes avalances. In turn, he promised he’d put up with my nasty migraines, continuous whining, and abnormally cold tootsies forevermore.

So far, we’re still married.

It has not always been easy. During the first two years of our marriage we had a business we owned and I operated. And I HATED it. Marc also had a horrendously demanding job/travel schedule. There were many screaming matches (and much crying/stomping on my end) during that time. One night, after arguing with him for 6 hours or so, (actually at about 4 a.m.) I threw one of his shoes at the door in a fit of fatigue and frustration. It hit and broke a window instead.

But we never gave up. God knows we wanted to.

Then we ditched the business and had a baby. Marc’s work/travel schedule was still chaotic. We also had a house so tiny I was convinced on a daily basis that I would lose my mind if I spent another week living in it. Our finances were complicated due to the former business and the fact that we had also bought stock in the company my hubby worked for/helped grow. There was lots of crying at this point too (again, on my end) but not as much screaming as before. The fights that started at 10 p.m. and carried on until 3 a.m. started to dwindle. But because we never really resolved alot of our issues, resentment built up on both sides.

This is where I mentioned that we’ve spent time in and out of marriage counseling. Did you know that if you choose someone who isn’t specifically skilled in this arena he or she can do even MORE damage to your marriage? Yes, we’ve learned that lesson too. We had two therapists that did more harm than good.

But we’ve perservered. And thanks to our dear friends Jeff and Irena, we met Nancy our current therapist. Nancy is a GODSEND. She is brillant, has a PhD in marriage counseling and has been helping couples for many years. We adore and respect her. And she has helped us so very much. (If you live in St. Louis and are in need, I can give you her info.) Because of her, we were able to deal with years of hurt. She’s taught us constructive ways to solve our problems and ways of talking to each other about sticky subjects. She’s taught us how to keep our minds and hearts open to each other.

When you tell most people you are in counseling, they assume you are teetering on the edge — that you have a lawyer on speed dial and you are willing to push the “divorce button” at any given minute. But that wasn’t us. We just saw that we weren’t feeling the kind of love for each other that we used to. We were drifting more and more apart — if we continued on, we’d wind up in divorce court.

Our marriage isn’t perfect but we’ve learned some healthy ways of dealing with our emotions and voicing our needs to the other. I’ve also learned I am stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. And I’ve learned Marc loves me alot more than I have ever given him credit for. We work well as a team, have a blast when we are out together, and are finally finding our way back to being each other’s best friend.

So happy anniversary my dear, sweet Marcus. I love you so very much. You are a wonderful man with a happy nature, a quick wit, and a generous heart. I love how you stay calm when I freak out. I love your twisted sense of humor. I love my life with you and I feel very lucky to have married you.

Picture this!