What was that caveman thinking?
An article by Bjorn Carey (that may or may not be found at http://msnbc.msn.com/id/12836649/) states that between six and seven million years ago…”The earliest known ancestors of modern humans might have reproduced with early chimpanzees to create a hybrid species, a new genetic analysis suggests.”
This is based on some fossils found in Chad.
Say it with me now. EEEEWWWW!
I was telling the hubs this story. His reaction? “Wow those cavemen must have been wearing some serious beer goggles!”
The rest of the conversation went a little like this:
Me: Yeah, I figured it was the human men mating with the female chimps too. Wow. Some guys really WILL have sex with anything that moves.
Hubs: I’m betting the sex wasn’t entirely consensual.
Me: Yeah, I thought the same thing when I read that.
Hubs: Well, I guess if you’ve been away from the camp far too long…. And a certain girlie chimp you’ve had your eye on gives you “the look”…
Me: (laughs) Apparently the hybrids died out because there was either some sort of chromosome problems or they think that both species found the hybrid too unattractive. The hybrid was a bi-ped but looked basically like a monkey. It was very hairy. The photo was kinda creepy looking. Can you imagine though? You’re a hybrid and you want a little lovin’ so you look to the humans and they say, “Nope. Too ugly.” Then you look to the monkeys and they say, “Nope. Too ugly.” What if you look to a fellow hybrid, and it says, “Nope too ugly.” You are out of luck! No lovin’ for you!
Hubs: Can you imagine taking your hybrid child to a restaurant? Now Billy, we do NOT fling our feces at other people!”
Me: Well, it’s a good thing the hybrids died out. Can you imagine if they would have succeeded? We could possibly being sitting at the dinner table some night trying to explain to Bunny, “Just because Susie is a hybrid doesn’t mean she doesn’t have feelings. I want you to apologize to her tomorrow for telling her she smells like a monkey.”
If the hybrids had succeeded I wonder what the politically correct word for them would be?
Red on 22 May 2006 at 12:37 am #
Attractively challenged person of folicle abundance??
melissa on 22 May 2006 at 2:13 am #
Republicans?
Oh, now that was kind of rude of me. I’m kind of sorry.
Dawn on 22 May 2006 at 2:20 am #
I think some of them made it. I’ve seen some fugly folks…
Kristin on 22 May 2006 at 3:33 am #
Hmmmm…. “Human-Impaired or maybe “Monkey-abled”?
carrie on 22 May 2006 at 5:30 am #
They would look like those cavemen in the commercial ordering the fancy food in Beverly Hills!!
Mom101 on 22 May 2006 at 5:49 am #
So funny. I’m thinking sapiens-challenged? Or probably a hybrid word in itself like humeys. Or hapes. Or monkerectus.
I’m tired.
sweatpantsmom on 22 May 2006 at 6:56 am #
Finally - an explanation for the guy who lives on my block who wears the “I Never Met A Girl I Didn’t Lick” t-shirt and drives the truck with the “I ATE at HOOTERS” bumpersticker.
Anonymous on 22 May 2006 at 10:15 am #
Humanzees, of course!
~Jenny
http://blogs.chron.com/mamadrama/
Mrs. Chicky on 22 May 2006 at 12:07 pm #
Okay, I just spit my coffee out at my monitor. Thanks, thanks a lot.
Can you imagine what they would be charged for a Brazilian wax?!
Jaelithe on 22 May 2006 at 1:15 pm #
Well, at the time period they are talking about the humans didn’t actually look that different from the chimps. This would have been before even the Homo genus had evolved, back in Australopithecus times– think Lucy. The earliest primate bipeds. Who were still pretty hairy themselves. So maybe they were willing to overlook the chimp hair
However, this reminds me of a quote from my favorite Anthropology prof in college. When asked why he supported the idea that Homo sapiens may have interbred with Homo neanderthalensis, he said,
“Under the right circumstances, human males will breed with anything that breathes.”
Christina_the_wench on 22 May 2006 at 1:56 pm #
LMAO! I can’t think of anything better than what the others wrote. ~laughing~
Becky on 22 May 2006 at 2:14 pm #
good question! what would they be called!?!? interesting article!
Andrea on 22 May 2006 at 3:22 pm #
My word, the stuff you come up with! I’m with Melissa on the Republicans bit. At least one in particular…
Humanzees. That was pretty good, too.
Jennifer on 22 May 2006 at 6:09 pm #
This post reminded me of the Geico commercials with the cavemen. Do they show those in the rest of the country?
Lori on 22 May 2006 at 7:39 pm #
One word: Bigfoot.
Carrcakes on 22 May 2006 at 8:22 pm #
And finally an explanation for why I have significantly more hair on my body than other homosapiens.
sunshine scribe on 22 May 2006 at 9:17 pm #
You just solved the mystery of my nasty neighbour for me. Thank you.
Isabel on 22 May 2006 at 11:56 pm #
My thought is maybe they were just bored. You know, they’d read all the books in their library/cave and gone through all their TiVo reality shows. All that was left was having sex with animals.
Fun times, no?
Stephanie A. on 23 May 2006 at 3:18 am #
This explains so much. You have no idea.
But you two are too funny, though.
Mega Mom on 23 May 2006 at 12:24 pm #
Apican Americans?
Romancing Simplicity on 02 Jun 2006 at 7:51 pm #
That is so very wrong. I’m with you; it had to be the men who kicked the whole experiment off. Ew.