On Monday I took the little man to the doctor’s for his annual check-up. As always, he insisted on bringing a few of his cars (Matchbox, Hotwheels, that sort of stuff). I told him he could bring only two. Usually this conversation evolves into a 10-minute whinefest. Because how could I POSSIBLY expect him to choose ONLY two cars. Although I’ve never counted, he’s probably got at least 75 little vehicles in his collection and probably another 30 vehicles bigger and not of the Hotwheels variety.

I thought it odd that he didn’t argue. He just grabbed two and shoved them into his very baggy pants. That day I was also very excited that he was finally fitting into size 4t slim pants. They were still loose but were the only clean pants he had.

We got to the doctor’s office. He weighed in at 38 pounds. This really surprised me. Yeay Bunny! He’s finally gained some weight.

But soon after the medical assistant noticed a car sticking out of his back pocket. I took the car out and noticed another car. And then another. After clearing them out, I noticed a bulge in his front right pocket. I removed two more cars. Then I finally checked the other two pants pockets. He had a total of 11 cars in his pants!

We weighed him again. And he was 2 1/2 pounds lighter. Imagine that!

Later that day, while helping him change into his pajamas, I noticed he also had on shorts under his pants. I’m guessing without that extra layer, the pants would have fallen off of him. And I had to laugh. So my little man is maybe a whole pound heavier than last year but he’s grown several inches. He’s one of those kids who’s a tangle of limbs. He’s long enough for 4t pants but too skinny to keep them up.

Now all he needs is to sport the socks/sandals combo, a horrible haircut, and a cheap polyester shirt. He may be destined to be what Marc and I were throughout grade school — an easy target for a bored bully.