Comments on: Love and marriage

By: Bebo Carrick

Bebo Carrick — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 13:57:51 +0000

Bebo ?ommunity, share your blogs

By: MrRudy

MrRudy — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 16:05:21 +0000

I can’t add your feed to Feedburner. How I do this?

By: Virginia Belle

Virginia Belle — Wed, 28 Jun 2006 15:37:49 +0000

i am so screwed. i already do this. and i’m not even engaged to the guy.

i just get a lot of satisfaction from being supportive, helpful and needed. i like feeling like the shelter from the storm. my mom was like this, but even she was better at having “me” time than i am.

but…i do have moments where i just need him to go away. or do it himself. and i’m practicing on listening to my inner voice. and telling him to go home or not come over. it’s hard, but i’m getting better. hopefully i can keep this article in mind. thanks for sharing it.

By: consise10

consise10 — Thu, 22 Jun 2006 08:08:51 +0000

I adore the time i have with my children.They are the only thing in life which bring me back to a safe’reality away from the harshness of my thoughts.
Thanks for the link to that article Lisa.

By: Heidi

Heidi — Wed, 21 Jun 2006 17:32:26 +0000

Such a great post, Lisa.

I’ve always worked very hard to maintain time for myself. But, there are circumstances where everyone has to make sacrifices. That’s what it’s been like around here the last couple of weeks. And I don’t mind if it’s for a finite amount of time, but when it gets to be an expectation, I get pissed.

A and I each have an evenining during the week that is supposed to be “ours.” It’s nice, because it’s scheduled.

However, while I am well aware that my husband is a capable human being who deals with multi-million dollar lawsuits and can easily handle the needs of a toddler, he seems to think that taking care of L so that I can have some time means that he still gets to yell up the stairs to see if I can do him some favor or another, because he “needs me to throw down some jammies for him.”

Does he think there’s a fairy who runs up and down the stairs for me all day when I forget something?

Do it YOURSELF, buddy.

He’s slowly figured out that having time to myself makes life easier for everyone in the family - nobody has to die that way.

By: Becky

Becky — Tue, 20 Jun 2006 15:26:36 +0000

totally agreed. i will admit sometimes i do drop things to help matt out with something. but i lucked out that he’s understanding that i need my time too. and he’s totally ok with that. youre right. if you dont have time for yourself how are you the same person you were when your hubby fell in love with you??? just like jenn says and i say the same thing–i’m not just hannah’s mom, or matts wife, or morgans best friend, or a secretary. i’m ALL these things. they all make ME.

By: Christina_the_wench

Christina_the_wench — Tue, 20 Jun 2006 12:20:15 +0000

Pastor’s wife here too. If you have a good husband, you can still be you and do your own thang and be a blessing to him as well. It took me YEARS of trying to be too independent. I was really miserable. I guess I am pretty lucky this second time around marriage-wise.

By: The Flip Flop Mamma!

The Flip Flop Mamma! — Tue, 20 Jun 2006 04:25:44 +0000

I haven’t read the article yet. I read a friend bloggers post once about how even if your hubby isn’t holding up his part of the marriage, you should hold up yours. She going at this from a christian womans perspective. Now, my hub is pastor. He is also human. and so am I. I can’t hold up my end, if he’s not holding up his. And like you, I tell him about it! I can’t sit around and be a doormat, taking care of the house, the kids, the appointments, the animals, everything! So, he has to hold up his end. I’m not his mamma. Ok, I’m gonna read the article now.

By: Lori

Lori — Mon, 19 Jun 2006 23:49:32 +0000

Huh. Interesting article. Fortunately I don’t have that problem. If anything, the pendulum swings a bit too far in the other direction for us; I am fiercely independent and don’t mother him at all. Sometimes I feel guilty for not being more nurturing. But the guilt never lasts for long.

I guess I just have a hard time relating to women like that, you know? Though I knew a few women like that. They are no longer in my life, because I couldn’t bear to stand by and watch them wither.

Great post!

By: Kristin

Kristin — Mon, 19 Jun 2006 22:27:40 +0000

i try very hard to be a good wife, but the easiest way for that to happen is for me to fist be good to myself. i am always shocked by women who say things like, “well, if my husband will LET me…”

marriage is an organic creature, you both feed the beast!