The apology
Tonight I called Seth’s new babysitter Shannon. Her mom answered. I couldn’t let the opportunity get away from me. I had to apologize. Shannon’s mom was the woman who saw me scream at my son a week ago. If you are unfamiliar with the post, its called, “Way to go Dumbass!” (Dumbass being me.)
She chuckled at my apology. She has three kids. She said something like, “Are you kidding? I have three teens in my house, I’m cranky alot.” Then she told me a story about when the kids were very young. They had been sick. Her hubby had been working an insane amount of hours. There was no food in the house. So she took all three kids to the grocery store. The kids were hungry and cranky. She kept saying, “If you don’t behave, we’re going home.” They didn’t behave. She had enough. She picked them up and left without the food.
“They finally realized that they had really upset mom. And once I had a good cry, I was ok. When we went back the next time they were much better behaved,” she said.
I was a shy child who grew into a shy adult. But being a stay-at-home mom changed that. I quickly learned that most of the women I meet are mothers, soon-to-be moms or wanting to be moms. We all have a major common interest. And it is a common interest we can spend HOURS talking about. It doesn’t matter what your economic background, where you live, how many children you have, or what stages said kids are currently in. Because most moms I know are always looking to learn something new, share an experience, tell a funny story, or offer encouragement.
Rose totally understood my exasperation with Seth. She has two boys. She said, ‘I know how that is. As soon as you finally get their socks and shoes on, you realize you have to do something else. Two minutes later when you get back to them, you see them on the couch with their shoes and socks off.”
I said, “Wow. You know my child well!” I had to laugh.
She saw me at my worst that day last week. And she understood. She doesn’t think any less of me. She said something to me we all say to a mom who feels guilty when she ceases to be the ever-patient, gentle, loving soul she expects herself to be around her child 24/7 — a simple, powerful sentence that soothes a mom’s soul.
“We’ve all been there before.”






sunshine scribe on 23 Jun 2006 at 12:11 am #
I am so glad you called her. Not because it allievated your embarassed feelings because you got to hear her sage advice and empathy. And she couldn’t be more right .. we have all been there. Every one of us. You are a great mom.
Motherhood Uncensored on 23 Jun 2006 at 12:15 am #
I’m impressed that you called. And seriously, poo on her if she didn’t act that way. I mean really, we all have our moments…
Mary Tsao on 23 Jun 2006 at 6:16 am #
Wait. She obviously knows my kids, too! What is it with the shoes and socks always coming off?!? Gah, I hate that.
You were brave for calling. Glad it worked out well. Cause hey, I think you did nothing wrong.
carrie on 23 Jun 2006 at 7:05 am #
You are lucky to have a Mom with lots of experience under her belt so near, and the babysitter - I’m jealous! Nothing feels better than knowing that a) you are not alone and b) nobody thinks you’re a bad Mom for having a “moment” in your yard. You are normal!
Carrie
Dawn on 23 Jun 2006 at 1:14 pm #
That’s why I always smile at the Mom’s in the grocery store. I have been that mother. I AM that mother.
It’s only the non-mothers of the world who can say “I’ll never let MY kid do that”
HAHAHAHA- Right. Try and stop them.
Stephanie A. on 23 Jun 2006 at 2:57 pm #
The glory of communication, eh? I always feel like a complete fool, but many times when I ‘fess up or apologize I find that that very person has been in my shoes.
I’m glad that you had this kind of closure on the topic, Lisa. I’m sure it feels good and less embarrassing.
Beth on 23 Jun 2006 at 3:52 pm #
So true! All mommies have been there in one form or another.
Mommies unite!
melissa on 23 Jun 2006 at 4:13 pm #
“It’s only the non-mothers of the world who can say “I’ll never let MY kid do that”
So true!
Andrea on 23 Jun 2006 at 4:18 pm #
Sounds like she could be someone to call when you find Seth on the couch with his shoes and socks off YET AGAIN. Or when he’s asking “Are you happy, Mommy?” over and over. Or when he colors on the wall with a Sharpie. Or when he puts Gummy Bears in the dryer… Oh wait, that was our neighbor when I was a kid. At least there’s someone sane living near you who can at the very least share a chuckle over the frustrations with you.
Jenn on 23 Jun 2006 at 4:55 pm #
Whether we know it or not….it’a always nice to hear, right?
Becky on 23 Jun 2006 at 5:58 pm #
so so true. we all have been there before. thats so great that she could relate to you and totally made you feel better about it!
The Flip Flop Mamma! on 23 Jun 2006 at 7:26 pm #
yes, I feel better knowing that I’m not the only looney around! LOL. I have too found that it’s easy to talk to other moms. Everyone likes to talk to about their kids, and you can tell all your parenting misshaps and laugh together!
Kristin on 24 Jun 2006 at 1:35 pm #
we all lose it and i am glad she was so honest with you!
Mrs. Chicky on 24 Jun 2006 at 4:26 pm #
I applaud your guts to call her. I would have hid in my house with the shades drawn.
Mega Mom on 24 Jun 2006 at 6:51 pm #
I just read the last post. I must have missed it. I’d actually rather see someone lose it than someone who does NOTHING and lets their kids walk all over them.
We all find our disciplining groove and we all lose it often too. We all wish we could be Nanny 911 and never lose it and always have a solution, but we’re not. I just revel in the good and brush off the bad
Suebob on 24 Jun 2006 at 8:43 pm #
I have learned a lot from reading the mom blogs, since I am not a mom myself.
The other day I was walking across a parking lot and there was a mom with a toddler in the shopping cart and about a 5 year old girl walking beside her. The five year old started veering off on her own across the parking lot, not paying attention when the mom called her. The mom ran a few steps and caught the girl by the only thing she could reach - her hair.
She wasn’t being mean, didn’t yank her, just grabbed a handful - and then looked up in shock and horror to see me watching her.
I just gave her a big smile and she smiled sheepishly back.
Ranger Tom on 25 Jun 2006 at 4:52 pm #
Just a quick note to let you know I’m back!!!!!
Anf is that all you did is yell? I thought my name was Jesus Christ until I was about 11…
Heidi on 27 Jun 2006 at 2:20 am #
Good for you for calling.
It’s so true…we all have our moments.