Motherofbun » Deep Thoughts by Midwestern Mommy

Deep Thoughts by Midwestern Mommy

Posted on July 6, 2006
Filed Under Uncategorized |

I would like to affix a large, bendable rod to the driver’s side of my car. Why? Because on the end of that rod would be a ginormous boot. And when I’d be driving behind someone going frustratingly slow, I could pull a lever, extend the rod and kick the driver in front of me in the back end with the boot. Sort of like a vehicular kick in the ass to get them moving alittle faster.

The only thing that stops me from actually constructing said boot is that I highly doubt it is legal. So I just fantasize… for now.

Comments

22 Responses to “Deep Thoughts by Midwestern Mommy”

Undercover Angel on July 6th, 2006 1:42 am

Wouldn’t that be nice? Living in a rural community we often wind up behind slow moving farm equippment. It should be illegal for them to be on the roads during certain hours…
Mom101 on July 6th, 2006 4:13 am

Ooh, I like this! We always say we want a giant LCD display in the rear window so we could type in flashing signs like GET OFF MY TAIL or WOULD IT KILL YOU TO SIGNAL?

But I like your idea better. Sign me up.
Suebob on July 6th, 2006 4:28 am

Miss Frustratingly Slow here. Of course, I live in So Cal, so anything less than 85 is frustratingly slow.

I will be the person going 65 on the freeway. Why am I going 65?

1) Quaint and old-fashioned as it is, I am obeying the law.

2) I am saving gas. 10 percent over going 70.

3) I probably have the cruise on. Saving even more gas.

4) Someone is right on my tail. And nobody can go slower that me with someone who will not pass me sitting right on my butt.

5) I figure if someone is driving way too fast, they need someone to slow them down. That is me. Just a reminder to take deep breaths and enjoy the scenery. Consider it a public service.

6) Relax. We will all end up at the next stoplight together anyway.

7) Those Consumer Reports stories show that on a trip across the whole US, the fast driver and the slow driver show up within a couple hours of each other. Nutty, huh?

Go ahead, boot away. I’m still the tortoise and I will win in the end.
Nut's mom on July 6th, 2006 5:13 am

yeah… I wish I could do that too. sigh….

and no I am not psychoanalyzing you.

yet.

LOL
Mommy off the Record on July 6th, 2006 5:58 am

You know what’s funny? My dad got ticketed for driving too slow on the freeway once (and he was NOT drunk). He’s like one of those drivers that goes exactly 55-60 miles per hour in the slow lane and NEVER any faster. He’ll actually drive behind big rigs without passing them up. It BUGS!!

I could never use the boot on him, but well, maybe I COULD give him a little love tap with it. Yeah, that’d work. Let me know when you start sellin’ em. I’ll totally buy one.
sweatpantsmom on July 6th, 2006 10:37 am

This would be more effective than my technique, which is to wildly flip them the finger while yelling things like, “Can you GO any slower” and “Drive, motherf**cker, DRIVE!”

Put me on your order list.
Iain Dughlais on July 6th, 2006 12:45 pm

Good thing they gave us horns.
Beth on July 6th, 2006 2:00 pm

That would certainly be a sight to see!
Mega Mom on July 6th, 2006 2:22 pm

Do you know that I always thought attaching a ticker to cars would be a great idea. Like you could say “Sorry, my bad” or “You total jackass, I have the right of way”.

I could go on and on, I’ve thought of that for years!
Becky on July 6th, 2006 2:24 pm

omg i could SO use on of those.
Nut's mom on July 6th, 2006 4:48 pm

BTW I love the fourtune cooke. I got “you have many unique talents, none of which are marketable.” which is SOOO true right not in my life. LOL
Andrea on July 6th, 2006 5:11 pm

I could’ve used this last week at the Card’s game. See the I Hate meme you tagged me for yesterday.
jennster on July 6th, 2006 5:12 pm

HAHHA- that would rock, but i’d be booting people all over the place in this fucking town.
the fortune cookie cracked me up. “you love oral sex, but hate the phone bill” HA!
Michelle on July 6th, 2006 5:44 pm

What a great idea! I would buy it in a heartbeat!
carrie on July 6th, 2006 6:40 pm

That is a lot nicer than flipping someone off!!! Maybe you could enter it on “American Inventor” - just kidding, but that is really funny!

Carrie
Virginia Belle on July 6th, 2006 9:49 pm

my mom wants to install a machine gun to the front of her car. i honestly think she would if it were legal. she has no sympathy.
Mrs. Chicky on July 7th, 2006 1:22 am

Damn, if that were legal you’d make a fortune! I’d buy at least 5 for my car alone because I’d use it so much I’d wear the first four out.
Rude Cactus on July 7th, 2006 12:43 pm

I had a friend who insisted each car should have a hood-mounted paintball gun. When a car had three different hits for being an idiot, the cops would then be obligated to pull it over. Sure, there are lots of holes in the plan but I liked it.
Bibi on July 7th, 2006 12:59 pm

…and I would like a horn that sounded like a looming freight train…
Stephanie A. on July 7th, 2006 2:56 pm

This is a great idea, but I have to say that my fortune read, “Anyone going faster than you is a maniac.” How fitting for this post, you maniac!

See you tomorrow!
Kristin on July 7th, 2006 4:22 pm

Send me one while you’re at it…
Ranger Tom on July 8th, 2006 6:55 pm

I want to mount machineguns on the front of my truck…