Why working locks are neccessary in the master bedroom
Once upon a time in a land called St. Louis there lived a mommy, daddy, boy and dog.
One night the daddy was feeling a bit randy. The mom? Not so much being that it was 2 a.m. But she struck a deal with the daddy.
“I’m game but only if you wake up with the boy in the morning,” she said.
He readily agreed. As they got down to business, the door swung open. A bleary-eyed moppet appeared. He was looking for his Cookie Monster stuffed animal.
The mommy freaked out and did some rapid maneuvering in hopes of concealing not only certain body parts but also where they were in relation to each other.
The daddy remained stoic saying, “Go back to bed and we’ll find your Cookie Monster.”
The boy stood still in his sleep-induced fog. He did not understand what he walked in on. But at this point he didn’t care. He just wanted his beloved bedtime buddy.
“Go back to bed,” his daddy repeated.
Without a response or reaction, the boy went back to bed.
The mom quickly dressed then retrieved and delivered Cookie Monster to the boy. Within seconds he was asleep.
The mom re-entered the master bedroom. The dad, still laying in bed, had a smirk on his face. Despite the intrusion, he remained undaunted and ready for action. The mom was ok with this, as by now it was 2:35 a.m. The boy was again sleeping, at least for now. And the idea of sleeping in held even greater appeal.
The mom and dad agreed that the minute they get back from their vacation, they would re-hang the master bedroom door, as that is the reason the door won’t lock.
The next morning, the boy spoke not a word of the incident. Nor did the parents. The mommy and daddy figure the image is probably buried deep within the boy’s memory files. And that one day when the boy is an adult, that particular memory will probably resurface at the most inopportune time — like in the middle of a very important meeting, job interview or sales pitch. But by then he’ll be living on his own and will be able to pay for his own therapy sessions.
So the parents alternated between living happily ever after and wondering whether or not they’ve emotionally scarred their child for life.
The END
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By Nap Queen, August 15, 2006 @ 6:56 pm
OMG, that is hysterical. I like your negotiating skills
We have to put the dogs outside when we do that because our male dog HATES it. If left inside, he will jump on the bed to stop us and that is uncomfortable for everyone involved
By Romancing Simplicity, August 15, 2006 @ 7:05 pm
LOL I’m sorry but that’s hilarious!
I’m sure the little boy probably will never remember it =)
By Linlee, August 15, 2006 @ 7:28 pm
lololollolololololol
I don’t think he realized what was going on since he was half asleep!
Any new pics of Linda’s baby?
By Flybunny, August 15, 2006 @ 7:57 pm
Too funny!
Hubby feel asleep one night without bothering to put his clothes back on and the next day our 9 yr old asked why Daddy slept naked and I somehow was able to convince her that she dreamt it!
By Alissa, August 15, 2006 @ 10:42 pm
You mean you didn’t tell him you were wrestling? I just thought that’s what you told kids…
Our bedroom door won’t even stay closed, much less lock.
By Jaelithe, August 15, 2006 @ 11:43 pm
Hehe. I can’t imagine he’s scarred that badly. I mean, entire families used to live in one-room cabins, and such . . . and you know those people living in one-room cabins always somehow managed to have eight kids, so hey . . .
I personally think that first-borns have anti-sibling radar. Any behavior on the part of the parents that might even theoretically lead to a sibling MUST BE STOPPED.
Just watch– if you do wind up adopting some day, I bet you’ll discover the day before you leave to pick up little sib’ that your boy has accidentally confused your passport with a coloring book, and confused a permanent black marker with his crayons . . .
By melissa b., August 16, 2006 @ 12:04 am
oh my goodness, oh my goodness! We’ve had this more than I want to admit. Really. And they’ve never seemed scarred anyway!
By Iain Dughlais, August 16, 2006 @ 12:59 am
hahahahaha
By Kirsten, August 16, 2006 @ 2:03 am
I’m going to check the locks on my bedroom door right now!
By JLynn, August 16, 2006 @ 2:07 am
Am I the only one amazed that “it” lasted more than an hour?!
By melissa b., August 16, 2006 @ 3:46 am
jlynn, I did NOT notice that.
Lisa, you devil.
By sweatpantsmom, August 16, 2006 @ 5:02 am
I don’t think you’ve scarred him for life, although he will have some explaining to do to his college buddies when he gets turned on at the sight of Cookie Monster.
By Pattie, August 16, 2006 @ 1:53 pm
Hehheh…
I bet fixing that master bedroom door will be somewhat of a priority now, huh? You don’t want to resort to having to slide the dresser in front of the door, otherwise you’ll be paying for his therapy later!
By Becky, August 16, 2006 @ 2:58 pm
oh man thats funny. i hope that day never comes for us when hannah walks in! that’d just not work! and we dont lock our door either! maybe we should!
By PoopyDigs, August 16, 2006 @ 3:57 pm
I’ve run in on my parents a few times. One when I was about 4 and didn’t know what was happening at the time, but I do remember it now. Oh Ick. Mental flashback.
I then saw them again when I was about 12. I cried. dunno why I cried, but I cried. parents had to have a long talk with me. Oh ick. Mental flashback.
I then walked in on my mom with my stepdad (I was around 23). WHAT IS WITH THESE PEOPLE! Haven’t they heard of locks? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Can’t I knock louder? Who does it at 3pm anyway?
Sorry to tell you, but your kid will remember. It’ll take a while, but he will. Fortunately, he’ll be a lot older.
Mental flashbacks. Oh ick. Double ick.
By Michelle, August 16, 2006 @ 5:25 pm
How funny! I know we will definitely be locking our door one day. Right now it has to stay open because, for some reason, monitors will not work in our house.
By Andrea, August 16, 2006 @ 5:28 pm
Lisa, you vixen you, going for that long.
Ha! Sweatpants Mom’s comment made me laugh all over again.
Between you and the pizza dude, and now this, there’s a lot of nakey-ness going on over there. Maybe I should move to that side of St. Louis. If it’s in the water, I want a tall glass.
By Stephanie A., August 16, 2006 @ 5:59 pm
Never would have occurred to me to get a lock for the bedroom door. Heh. I’m so glad that you’re having these experiences first so that I can learn all of those little mommy tips that aren’t in the books!
By Pendullum, August 16, 2006 @ 6:47 pm
The Cookie Monster will never be the same for me!!!!!!!!!!
By Tonya, August 16, 2006 @ 8:24 pm
At least he’s young. I was in junior high when I walked in on my parents. From that point on, I made as much noise as I could before walking into their room. It’s amazing the door knob didn’t fall off from me jiggling it so many times to announce my presence before actually opening the door.
By HollowSquirrel, August 17, 2006 @ 12:44 am
My GOD woman are you ever clothed? Pizza delivery man… innocent child… ??
By Heidi, August 17, 2006 @ 1:08 am
I remember trying to get into my parent’s room and the door was locked. I have no idea how old I was, but I turned around and went and got back in bed.
I dread the day L gets out of bed on his own.
By Jenny, August 17, 2006 @ 11:31 am
Ha! That was hilarious.
Don’t worry…we’re all emotionally scarred from our parents.
By Christina_the_wench, August 17, 2006 @ 2:27 pm
What hollowsquirrel said! Put some clothes on, woman!
*laughing hysterically*
By Jenn, August 17, 2006 @ 3:30 pm
LOL not looking forward to that AT ALL!! I’ve already woken up the little one on a couple of occasions. But she’s confined to the crib for now THANK GOD!
By carrie, August 17, 2006 @ 9:21 pm
Oh no! That’s all I have to say, that and I am sure that he didn’t even have a clue!
Carrie
By Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly, August 17, 2006 @ 10:01 pm
Very funny. I love the deal you brokered. Very shrewd. And I suppose this was an inevitable moment. I’m sure he won’t ever remember.
Lisa
By Dawn, August 18, 2006 @ 6:36 pm
Theres been quite a bit of the nudity in the MM household, I see.
And tell the daddy that there is nothing worse ( so I hear) than reaching the “moment” and THEN having the child appear. That scared a certain daddy here for a long time…
By Shannon (Sentimental), August 19, 2006 @ 2:23 am
Too funny, I am guessing he may never remember it. At least I hope.
By Mommy off the Record, August 19, 2006 @ 6:32 am
LAMO! He was probably so focused on getting his stuffed animal that he barely even noticed you two were naked. Plus, it was dark right? Hopefully, the image will never resurface in his consciousness!
By Crystal Breeze, August 19, 2006 @ 7:35 am
My earliest childhood memory is that at age 2. I was flying a kite with my Dad in the backyard and it got stuck in a tree. It was a red and white kite. My Dad had to climb the tree and giggle a branch to set it free. I also remember the shoes I was wearing. They were pink and white tennis shoes with one strap that came over across the foot and snapped in place. That was in 1977 in Jacksonville, NC.
Kids can remember just about anything at any age….
By Crystal Breeze, August 19, 2006 @ 7:39 am
Lisa,
question?? How long have you live in St. Louis? My Dad when was on Recruiting Duty for the Marines moved us to Arnold,MO in 1993-1994 and I attended Fox High School during that time. Are you near there?
Just curious….
By Izzy, August 21, 2006 @ 6:18 pm
But by then he’ll be living on his own and will be able to pay for his own therapy sessions.
lololol….thanks for the chuckle
By Carrie, August 21, 2006 @ 9:47 pm
That is too funny!