Caught in the act… Again.
Women who have two or more children always blow my mind. I look at them in awe and constantly wonder, “How do you manage more than one child at a time by yourself? Where do you get the energy?”
But more recently there’s another point for me to ponder. My son has apparently developed a finely honed sense of when we are having sex. And then he bursts into the room.
You’ve read about his (ok Marc and my) exploit two weeks ago, right? Well, if not, scroll down. I’ll wait.
Just last night around midnight, he barged into our room yet again and caught us in a most compromising position. He was half asleep. And again, today he made no mention of it.
How do people have sex when they’ve got a child with this kind of radar? We’re not loud or anything. His bedroom is the farthest one from ours. How does he know? Does he wake up in a cold sweat and think, “I sense my parents are conspiring to give me a sibling. Must. Stop. The. Madness.”
Look at that self-satisfied smile. It says, “Hey, I’ve been playing my cards right. As you can see, no siblings mean mom and dad have money to take me to sweeeeet places like this! Dude, I just bellied up to the bar that’s IN THE POOL! I’m livin’ the good life.”
Doesn’t he know that really “harshes the buzz” for mom and dad. We’re parents now. We now pour all of our extra money, energy and time into him. Doesn’t he realize that the only fun thing we have left is having sex? He obviously doesn’t realize that if mom and dad aren’t gettin’ lucky he’s gonna end up with some really pissy, short-tempered parents.
We REALLY need to get that door fixed.






Romancing Simplicity on 26 Aug 2006 at 2:41 am #
I don’t know whether or not to laugh. That sounds frustratingly…funny. Good luck!
melissa b. on 26 Aug 2006 at 2:50 am #
I should really just show up at your house with a set of tools, no?
Oh my goodness, honey, that’s hilarious/terrible!
Alissa on 26 Aug 2006 at 3:02 am #
Yeah, fix the door. Sounds like he does have a bit of a radar!
I guess it’s really not too funny…except it is.
We never (never, ever) even close the door to our bedroom. And in a house that’s only 990 square feet, you can figure it’s not too far from where the boys sleep. Playing with fire, I guess…
Ranger Tom on 26 Aug 2006 at 4:13 am #
I was dating a woman about a year ago… She had a five year old son who just KNEW when we were making the beast with two backs…
It was very unnerving to see a small set of eyes and fingers poking out from onder the bedroom door…
“MOM!!!! WHAT YA DOIN?”
Talk about a mood killer.
metro mama on 26 Aug 2006 at 1:21 pm #
Just start doing it in different places–he won’t be able to find you and it will spice it up.
He won’t think to look for you on top of the clothes dryer.
Pattie on 26 Aug 2006 at 1:33 pm #
I second Metro mom’s comment! HA!
Tonya on 26 Aug 2006 at 3:59 pm #
Oh, you’d be surprised where they can find you! LOL!
carrie on 26 Aug 2006 at 5:59 pm #
We have 3 kids, I have only 2 words of advice for you: THE SHOWER. Hopefully your bathroom door locks!!
Carrie
Sorry, I am dying over here, not laughing AT you, but WITH you. Good luck!
Oh, The Joys on 26 Aug 2006 at 6:03 pm #
Do they make Tylenol PM for babies? Cuz that would be GREAT!
This is hilarious - TWICE now!!
Michelle on 26 Aug 2006 at 8:15 pm #
How funny! You really need those locks now. I can’t imagine being one of those families who live all together in one hut. How weird would that be?!
Mrs. Chicky on 27 Aug 2006 at 12:41 am #
I suggest a dead bolt lock. Or double-sided sticky tape for your son when he goes to sleep. That will keep him in his bed, at least.
Mommy off the Record on 27 Aug 2006 at 5:52 am #
Again??? LOL
I’m guessing that one of those “do not disturb” hangers on your door wouldn’t do the trick.
I’d go with the lock, just to be sure.
Mega Mom on 28 Aug 2006 at 2:48 am #
Smart freaking kid. Those siblings really do wreak havoc!
Stephanie A. on 28 Aug 2006 at 3:57 am #
Wow, his radar is as sharp as they get!
It sounds like you need to get that door fixed. Pronto!
billygean.co.uk on 28 Aug 2006 at 12:34 pm #
hehe you’re good, i enjoy your writing!
BG
Pendullum on 28 Aug 2006 at 1:35 pm #
That picture does paint a thousand words as do your romps… and here is my wee ‘comment’
I used to be a nanny when I was a kid in the summer.
My charge was 2 and a half. He was the cutest kid…
I brought him over to my house one day so i could have teawith my mom and my very ‘prudy uptight’ dad.
My charge, James and my kid sister were play fighting.
We were watching them from the couch. and then…
and then…
He bit my sister in the crotch!
A good mouth right between her legs…
She jumped and screamed…
I yelled…”James, we don’t do that to each other!’
And his retort?
Hisr etort was’My Daddy does it to my mommy ALL the time!”
My dad turned to me and said’Time to tell the Littles’ they need a lock for their door’
I could have died…
But more so in having to tell the Littles about what had happened and how they needed a lock!!!
I’ll never forget their faces… Hers of shock…
and the dad with an embaressed, ‘cat that ate the canary’ grin…
Pass The Torch on 28 Aug 2006 at 1:52 pm #
I’m here from Drama Queen’s Mama. She’s playing a fun game. I like to read Chilihead’s blog
Nice to meet you!
Pass the Torch
Rude Cactus on 28 Aug 2006 at 2:55 pm #
Sexdar. Gotta be sexdar. Now, go to home depot, get a lock and fix the door! I promise it’s not hard!
Flybunny on 28 Aug 2006 at 2:57 pm #
That boy has some mad radar skills.
We finally had to start locking our door but it still kills the mood when the door knob starts wiggling and you hear a small voice saying Mommy are you in there????
Becky on 28 Aug 2006 at 4:30 pm #
you really DO need to get that door fixed!
Andrea on 28 Aug 2006 at 4:36 pm #
I feel your pain. We’ve never been discovered, but I’m waiting for the day. I live in fear of the day.
Dude, Home Depot, tonight when Marc gets home. Save yourself the grief of a third time.
ruben on 28 Aug 2006 at 11:08 pm #
I can’t imagine how embarrassed I would be! The cost of the school for the blind that my girls would need would also be overwhelming!
I am officially back at Typepad forever and would love to hear from you! Cruise over to www.eachdaycounts.com and say hello!
Take care!
Crystal Breeze on 28 Aug 2006 at 11:09 pm #
Leave him some really cool new toy that has never been opened outside your door and maybe next time that might detour him from barging in. Lord knows if my 3 kids come flying in we better give a dvd lesson on the birds and the bees because as they get older you can’t fool them into thinking that daddy was just tickling mommy. My 11,8, and 5 year old kids would be like,”Yeah Right”. What were you really doing and why are you naked? Oh the thought is scaring me… I got to go. I need to ask my husband to by a dead bolt for the bedroom door.
Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly on 29 Aug 2006 at 7:49 pm #
Oh man, that is awful. Good that he is half asleep and has no memory/no need to discuss it. My son hasn’t done that yet. But now that you mention it we need to get a lock on our door too!
Lisa
Lynn on 30 Aug 2006 at 4:12 pm #
I feel your pain. The days of romance are gone at my house too.
Oh, and BTW, the lock just slows them down, it doesn’t stop them from banging on the door. You don’t get caught in compromising positions, but it is a mood breaker.
Dawn on 01 Sep 2006 at 9:01 pm #
Emily has that super power too. usually just as Terrance *might* be reaching his zenith, so to speak. A voice calls out,
“Daddy?” and the man goes soft. Immediately.Mid-orgasm. If it wasn’t kind of funny ( I get mine first, sister)I would feel badly for him.
Queue on 04 Sep 2006 at 5:10 pm #
drug him.
okay not really but man that’s gotta be annoying. Cammy hasn’t figured out the latch on the gate in her door less room. which is SWEET.
if you figure out a workable soultion I would love to hear it.
Good luck.
i’m rooting for you and your sex life.
Virginia Belle on 12 Sep 2006 at 3:51 pm #
is the door broken? i am confused. then again, i’m catching up on your blog backwards….
if it’s not broken, then what you need to do is what my parents did:
Rule #1–ALWAYS knock before coming into mom and dad’s room.
Rule #2–Never break rule #1 or you will get yelled at. or possibly spanked. Exception? nightmares. or bats in your room. (don’t ask)
it worked.
wait…is he old enough to know what you are doing? you might be able to dupe him for a few more years…