Fun with Marc and Lisa
I’m thinking of writing a children’s book on our experience of replacing our countertops. (We got the countertops replaced two days after we came home from our vacation.) It would go something like this:
Chapter 1
The countertops are old and bad.
Watch Lisa beg for new ones.
Beg! Lisa, Beg!
See Marc agree?
Nod, Marc Nod!
Watch Marc and Lisa drive to Lowes.
Hear Lisa and Marc argue over colors?
Fight, Lisa, Fight.
See Marc win?
Chapter 2
See subcontractor overestimate measurements and infate the bid?
Re-measure, Marc, Re-measure!
See Marc call them on it?
Ha, Ha!
See savings account dwindle once final bill comes in?
Bye, bye money.
Chapter 3
Watch Marc clear out cabinents the night before installation?
See Lisa sprint to the bathroom because she’s still sick?
Bad Mexico, bad!
Chapter 4
See subcontractors install the countertops?
Go, subcontractor, go!
See them vaccum the dust from installation?
Watch Lisa droll? Cute young men! In her home! Vaccuming!
See Marc and Lisa wait for backsplashes?
Tick tock. Tick tock.
Chapter 5
See young men arrive with backsplashes?
Watch Lisa bribe workers to hook up the water?
Bribe, Lisa Bribe!
Whew! It is all done.
Marc and Lisa are very happy.
(And very happy it is over with.)
The End
metro mama on 03 Sep 2006 at 5:46 pm #
They actually vacuumed up their mess? Wow.
Nut's mom on 03 Sep 2006 at 10:17 pm #
I agree with above. wow.
bring on some pix!!!
sweatpantsmom on 03 Sep 2006 at 11:26 pm #
This is hysterical. And, seriously, a book that I would actually buy at Barnes & Noble.
Are you doing any more work on the house? I await anxiously for Marc And Lisa Replace The Sewer Line!
Mrs. Chicky on 04 Sep 2006 at 12:02 am #
That was damn funny! I could have used this book a few months ago when we replaced our countertops. Except I could have used a chapter that said:
“See Mrs. C try to communicate with the contractors who don’t speak English.
Mime, Mrs. C, mime!”
Stephanie A. on 04 Sep 2006 at 1:24 am #
Pictures, Lisa, pictures!
I’m sure you’re glad all of that is finished now. Are you just sitting around gazing at the new wonder kitchen?
Andrea on 04 Sep 2006 at 2:22 am #
You didn’t decide to blog naked while the cute young men were working? I’m with Stephanie. Pictures, Lisa, pictures!
Andrea on 04 Sep 2006 at 2:23 am #
Um, pictures of the counter. Not you blogging naked. Imagine the google hits, though.
Mommy off the Record on 04 Sep 2006 at 5:47 am #
Yay! Great story!! Now, pretty please, post the pics? Cuz my countertops want to live vicariously through your countertops.
carrie on 04 Sep 2006 at 7:11 am #
Wow, that was fast! I am sure they look fabulous, and hey, having cute young men vaccuming in your home would be worth it even if they were lime green or something (which I am sure they’re not!)!
Carrie
sunshine scribe on 04 Sep 2006 at 12:28 pm #
That was fast. Great story.
Now you must share photos … of the countertop or the cute boys with the backsplas … its up to you
raquita on 04 Sep 2006 at 4:30 pm #
sweet a best seller, kids need these lessons I tell ya!
Dawn on 04 Sep 2006 at 7:27 pm #
I often use the format of “Go, Dog, Go” as I move about my daily life. Oddly, it helps.
Pattie on 04 Sep 2006 at 11:39 pm #
This was so funny, Lisa! *LOL*
I have been through the remodeling thing myself. I am happy for you that it is over.
Do we get to see pictures?
BTW: You didn’t bribe them with nakedness, did you?
Beth Fish on 05 Sep 2006 at 12:18 am #
I’ve always thought that kids need exposure to real-world stories. Although, you would have to make everybody bunnies or cows or something.
Tonya on 05 Sep 2006 at 12:36 am #
See Tonya pout.
Jealous, Tonya, jealous.
Glad you got your new countertops in–and good looking installers to boot!
bubandpie on 05 Sep 2006 at 1:12 am #
Heh heh. I sometimes think my brain has been taken over by Go, Dog, Go! myself. Glad I’m not the only one!
Jaelithe on 05 Sep 2006 at 3:04 am #
It’s been said, but I’ll say it again: photos, please?
Lisa on 05 Sep 2006 at 3:45 am #
I need to find the camera (Can’t find it since we got back from vaca) and take some pics.
And I would use the camera phone but my purse was stollen this weekend. And my phone was in it. And the pics, for some reason, won’t post on blogger.
So I’ll get there eventually…
Jaelithe on 05 Sep 2006 at 4:48 pm #
Woah, that sucks that your purse was stolen!
And here I was going to add an addendum that you should have taken photos of the hot guys vacuuming mto share with the rest of us housewives. Clearly you had many other things on your mind.
I hope someone finds your purse and returns your cards.
Lori on 05 Sep 2006 at 8:30 pm #
No fair! I want pictures!
Christina_the_wench on 06 Sep 2006 at 1:10 pm #
Where is “See Lisa break out the booze in celebration and denial”?
Grim Reality Girl on 06 Sep 2006 at 5:10 pm #
I love the book — can’t wait to see the illustrated version!
Cagey on 06 Sep 2006 at 5:31 pm #
Awesome. I’d like to see the “touch and feel” version, please. Hottie contractors? I’m there!
Jennifer on 06 Sep 2006 at 8:59 pm #
Ha! My story would go something like this:
Chapter 1: February
See Jen and Joel punch holes in the wall to identify leaky pipe. See Joel plug up pipe. Go, Joel, go!
Chapter 2: March
See Jen ask Joel when he is going to re-drywall the holes, so they can live in a non-white trash home. Hear Jen ask if she should just call a contractor, since it can’t cost that much and neither Jen nor Joel have time for home projects. See dollar signs flash in Joel’s eyes as he says, “No! I’ll do it myself!” Flash, dollar signs, flash!
Chapter 3: May
Watch Jen threaten and nag Joel about the holes in the walls. Nag, Jen, nag!
Chapter 4: June
See Jen set an ultimatum. The walls or fixed by July 1st, or a contractor is being called. Go, ultimatum, go!
Chapter 5: September
See how there are no longer holes, but rather un-sanded patches of drywall and plaster. Watch Jen drink wine instead of worrying about the stupid walls. Drink, Jen, drink!
I think your experience is really quite good, for such a big project (compared to patching up a few measly holes in the drywall). Way to go! Let’s see some pictures of the gorgeous new coutners
Virginia Belle on 12 Sep 2006 at 3:30 pm #
LOL at the cute guys vacumming line.
i want to see pics, too. what did you guys pick out? i bet it looks good.