Take your time…
This past week we were graced by the presence of a most extraordinary woman. Marc’s sister, Nicole, came into town. (This was a wonderful thing — at least for us. Spending hours pushing Seth on swings, listening to his stories and fashioning cool things out of Play-doh only to then deal with an obnoxious brother and sister-in-law probably felt more like boot camp than vacation.)
In the wee hours of one sleepless night, I collected my pillow, blanket and cup of water in search of a quieter room and a better chance at catching a few winks. Nicole was in the guest bedroom. I didn’t think she’d appreciate me asking her to scoot over at 3:30 a.m. She might find that a bit weird. So I snuck into Seth’s room. I crawled into his double bed, held his sweet little hand and soon fell asleep.
At 7:30 a.m. he awoke — far too early for me. I tried to lure him back into the bed. I cajoled, but to no avail. Then I appealed to his ego.
“But Sweets,” I whined, “I NEED you to cuddle up next to me. I need to hug on you a bit.”
His retort? “No mommy. Not now. I don’t have TIME.”
Ouch.
Those words have never flown out of his mouth before. But I’ve said them countless times.
When he wants me to lay next to him at night, he’ll ask me. I’ll say, “No sweetheart. I don’t have time.” Then I rattle off a list of things I want to do.
Sometimes he’ll ask me to play cars with him. And I don’t want to. Truth is, he’s sort of bossy and he always gives me the broken cars to play with — or worse — no car at all. I get to PRETEND to have a car. Plus there’s always something to clean, a bill to pay, a blog to read, or phone call to make. So I’ll often say, “I can’t sweetheart. I don’t have time.”
The day-to-day task of raising a child is sort of looking into a mirror and inspecting your appearance. There are days you really like what you see. But there are some days you catch a glimpse and realize that what you’re doing now? Isn’t working so great.
I know that saying, “there’s no time” is an excuse. The sad truth is, I’m not MAKING time. Daily life has gotten so hectic that I’ve sort of forgotten. Plain and simple? I need to — not only for him but for me. Because someday he’s going to grow up.
And I don’t want him doing so without me.
Suebob on 02 Oct 2006 at 12:25 am #
Cats in the cradle and the silver spoon…ouch.
Anonymous on 02 Oct 2006 at 1:24 am #
Every now and then they remind us about the things we need to know, right?!
Anonymous on 02 Oct 2006 at 12:12 pm #
You are so right. I do the same thing when really, what difference is 15 minutes laying with my kids at bedtime REALLY going to make in the grand scheme of things.
Thank you for helping me remember.
Jenny on 02 Oct 2006 at 12:35 pm #
Ow, ow, ow. I so feel this post. I had a similar thing happen to me this weekend and I thought I was going to die.
You don’t think that’s how they feel, do you?
Anonymous on 02 Oct 2006 at 1:32 pm #
Holy mother of crap, i just resolved to make a concerted effort to play (read: be bossed around and told exactly what to say/do/think) when Julia asks. Some days it is soo easy to find my inner 4 year old, some days, hard to find me.
Grim Reality Girl on 02 Oct 2006 at 1:38 pm #
Ouch! Thanks for holding up the mirror — I’m looking in it! It has been that way here lately. I think we all fall into this same trap — especially when things are hectic and we are tired.
Enjoy making memories today!
Christina_the_wench on 02 Oct 2006 at 2:42 pm #
You got a ‘mommy check’. I needed one too. Thanks, Seth!
Poopydigs on 02 Oct 2006 at 4:01 pm #
Wow, amazing what kids will pick up.
True true
I will make time today as well.
Cagey on 02 Oct 2006 at 7:38 pm #
TRUE.
I have a mantra of “This won’t last forever and before I know it, he will be GONE, so I need to Grab the Moment now, now, NOW” . This helps me through the periods where I am tired of holding him, rocking him, never getting a minute to freakin’ PEE on the toilet ALONE…..whatever. I guess I will still need that mantra for many, many years, eh?
Kristin on 02 Oct 2006 at 8:32 pm #
As Mel said, they are growing up without our permission…
Heidi on 02 Oct 2006 at 8:32 pm #
Oh man, I needed to be reminded of this. How many times have I tried to get in one more thing before I sit down to read the promised book with the kiddo.
I’ll be doing dishes forever. My lil ones will be gone before I know it.
Mommy off the Record on 02 Oct 2006 at 8:51 pm #
Wow, this was a good reminder for me. Making my son the priority is so very important, but sometimes it’s easier said than done that’s for sure. I know that I often choose to do a chore rather than play with him. But I guess the chores will always be there, right? In the meantime, they’re growing up and we’ll never have this time back.
Great post.
Jen on 02 Oct 2006 at 9:23 pm #
Seth is hysterical. You get to pretend you have a car
I’ve been having trouble stopping to smell the roses lately too. My boyfriend is always asking me to come and cuddle with him when he goes to bed (he goes to sleep way earlier than me). I usually tell him I don’t have time.
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Mary Tsao on 03 Oct 2006 at 3:43 am #
I feel your pain! But hey, he spoke and you listened. So if you can take some time in the future and do a little more of the things he wants you to do, you’re doing good.
My oldest has started commenting when I’m angry. It actually helps to calm me down. Yes, a definite reality check — straight from the mouth of babes!
Krisco on 03 Oct 2006 at 5:57 am #
I totally relate.
I hate when things I say - that I’m not really proud of - fly out of my kids mouth. (like, Come Here NOW!)
And I know where they got that from….
carrie on 03 Oct 2006 at 7:14 am #
So right, so very, very right!
Carrie
Pattie on 03 Oct 2006 at 7:48 am #
Our children do model the things we say and do, don’t they? Kinda reminds me of that old song “Cat’s in the Cradle”….*sniff*
Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly on 03 Oct 2006 at 10:47 pm #
sound of heart breaking. that was soooo sweet. i am sure my son will be saying that exact same thing any time now, because I say it to him too.
you are so right about parenting being a mirror. you sound like a wonderful mom btw!!
Lisa
Mrs. Chicky on 04 Oct 2006 at 2:54 am #
Suebob said what I was thinking. Very cats in the cradle. How’s that hole in your heart doing?
Anonymous on 04 Oct 2006 at 2:05 pm #
Kids say the darnedest things, right? It’s amazing how one statment made by your child can make you think about so much.
And, Seth cracks me up, he really is like a little man. I love it!
Jenn on 04 Oct 2006 at 4:36 pm #
Doncha hate when they spout off things that you say. Damn them for being such smart little sponges!!!
Isabel on 05 Oct 2006 at 6:20 pm #
I was snuggling with my baby in bed this morning and thinking about the time when he won’t want to snuggle with me. I can’t imagine him growing up.
(Seth is so cute. You know that, right?!)