Don’t try this at home… (No. Really. Don’t.)
Stumble it!
At 5 a.m. I heard Seth talking to himself in his room. He was WIDE awake. I told him to go back to sleep. He didn’t. Ten minutes later, after hearing more and more talking, I asked him if he’d like to go into the guest bedroom and lay next to me.
I grabbed our pillows, blankets, his Vapor plug-in (he’s had a cold) and staggered into the other bedroom. I plugged in the Vapor thingee, got us situated then laid down next to him.
A few minutes later, I had to pee. When I walked out of the bathroom, I felt an odd sensation in my crotch. And then I realized… I must have gotten some of that menthol oil on my hands. And then I handled toilet paper…. And Oy!
If a girl ever has that “not so fresh feeling”, getting a little menthol oil on your lady parts will make you forget all about that! Seven hours later, the stinging has subsided and I feel as if someone shoved a York Peppermint Patty up my hoo-hoo. Depending upon your opinion of the minty chocolate candy, this can be either a good or bad thing.
(But the added bonus is that today? I didn’t need any caffeine to wake me. I am WIDE awake — apparently a minty fresh hoo-hoo will do that to you.)
carrie on 18 Oct 2006 at 6:09 pm #
Oh. My. God. What the hell do you do for something like that????
Note to self: NEVER forget to wash hands after handling vapor-plug!
Jees, lady!!!!
Carrie
ps. Bet you won’t be ordering a peppermint latte any time soon!
Lisa on 18 Oct 2006 at 6:12 pm #
Kinda funny. It wasn’t painful. Just a bit uncomfortable. And now, I feel minty fresh. heehee. But to be honest, I probably wouldn’t recommend. And next time I’ll be SURE to WASH MY HANDS! heehee.
But I thought the people who read this would have some hysterical comments for this post.
Marcus The Dad on 18 Oct 2006 at 6:15 pm #
I can now be the envy of all the other guys in the locker room when I boast of my wife’s minty fresh hoo hoo.
Sarah on 18 Oct 2006 at 6:39 pm #
Wow. To find horrifying or to find hilarious, that is the question!
Anonymous on 18 Oct 2006 at 6:40 pm #
I’m glad that you share ‘what not to do’ for everyone…thank goodness you didn’t rub your eyes!
“York Peppermint Patty up my hoo-hoo” cracks me up and I won’t look at a York Peppermint patty the same ever AGAIN!
HollowSquirrel on 18 Oct 2006 at 6:44 pm #
Jeeeez lady! Ya know, I’ve shoved pepperment patties up my ass, but never my hoo-hoo. Must remember to try that…
HollowSquirrel on 18 Oct 2006 at 6:59 pm #
And this has prompted me to IMMEDIATELY add you to my blogroll (long overdue)…because people need to know.
reformattingmybrain on 18 Oct 2006 at 8:08 pm #
Should I feel bad that I’m laughing my ass off? “Shoved a York Peppermint Patty up my hoo-hoo” OMG - I can’t quit laughing. I have this bad feeling I’m going to be getting strange looks the next time thru the grocery check out line when I bust out laughing after seeing a York Peppermint Patty!
Lisa B on 18 Oct 2006 at 8:58 pm #
I’m so glad it’s not just me that does stupid things lke this! I’m reminded of the time I had been chopping chillis to go in the chilli con carne I had been making. I kind of rinsed my hands under the tap but didn’t wash them properly.I then proceeded to put moisturiser on my face. oh the BURN!! And the tears! The chilli was in every pore in my face! So stooooopid! Oh well, this is how you learn eh?!!! xx
Red Rollerskate on 18 Oct 2006 at 9:12 pm #
Interesting. Well, can it breathe easier?
sunshine scribe on 18 Oct 2006 at 9:15 pm #
Oh. My. God. I just spit a chip at my computer screen when I read about the menthol. Oh no. There are so many jokes but I can’t think of any as I am giggling too hard.
But, really sorry … poor minty you.
dqb&me on 18 Oct 2006 at 9:31 pm #
As York claims, “Get the sensation!”
Amber on 18 Oct 2006 at 9:54 pm #
Wow. The solution for sleep-deprived moms everywhere….
Anonymous on 19 Oct 2006 at 12:37 am #
That is hilarious (to me). I’m sure it wasn’t quite so funny to you, but HA HA HA HA!!! (Sorry.)
Jenny on 19 Oct 2006 at 1:38 am #
I’m simultaneously cringing and laughing my ass off!
sweatpantsmom on 19 Oct 2006 at 3:06 am #
I am laughing so hard at this (though sorry to benefit from your pain, of course.)
a York Peppermint Patty up my hoo-hoo has got to be my favorite line. Ever.
Jen on 19 Oct 2006 at 3:14 am #
I once had a similar experience with an alcohol wipe. Don’t ask. It was one of the most painful experiences I’ve ever had, but at least it only lasted a few minutes. I feel like that should be a warning on those things, like they have on Viagra. Instead of “seek a doctor’s attention immediately if erections persist more than 4 hours”, it would have to say “get immediate medical attention if pepermint patty sensation lasts longer in your hoo-hoo than yin your mouth”.
Anonymous on 19 Oct 2006 at 5:29 am #
this so cant have been good for the sleep issues!
V on 19 Oct 2006 at 11:38 am #
Hmmmm…I could use that idea. I haven’t been sleeping much. Who knew the answer was sitting right next to the cough syrup! Lol!
Reba on 19 Oct 2006 at 12:59 pm #
So funny. I could always use some help waking up in the morning, but I think I will stick with a shower and coffee.
Isabel on 19 Oct 2006 at 2:23 pm #
Please tell me you are all better now.
Praying for your Prodigal on 19 Oct 2006 at 3:37 pm #
ROFL! Not at you…with you–of course! You really outta write a book! These are important things for women around the world to know!
Diane
Praying for your Prodigal on 19 Oct 2006 at 4:13 pm #
P.s…..I’m back! You’ve been linked.
Diane
Christina_the_wench on 19 Oct 2006 at 4:57 pm #
Another side note…. never buy anti-fungal ointment mistakenly for a yeast infection. *see same results as Vick’s on hoo hoo*
jennster on 19 Oct 2006 at 6:37 pm #
LMFAO! that cracks me the hell up… because it didn’t happen to me. lol
Cagey on 19 Oct 2006 at 7:27 pm #
Vapor plug? *snort*
Andrea on 19 Oct 2006 at 9:09 pm #
Woman, you are too funny. My mom had this foot lotion with menthol in it to rejuvenate tired feet, and my did it work. I never would have suspected that the area of application doesn’t matter so much. Thank you for doing the research for all of us.
Oh the joke in my mind is even too dirty for this post. Let’s just say it has to do with whether or not the lock on your bedroom door was fixed and if Marc is allergic to mint. It’s all about the experimentation. OMG, I can’t believe that’s what popped into my mind. I have to go wash my mind out with (minty) soap.
Janice (5 Minutes for Mom) on 19 Oct 2006 at 9:39 pm #
that is hysterical! sorry you had to suffer to make us laugh, but we do appreciate it!
this is my first time here. so nice to meet you!
metro mama on 19 Oct 2006 at 11:03 pm #
Yikes! I hope hubby made the most of your minty freshness.
Pink on 22 Oct 2007 at 1:22 am #
Super!
I visited your web site.
It is very creative.
Red on 27 Oct 2007 at 2:40 am #
Ok! Best regards!
Checking in to see if everybody.