Let’s talk about sex
Chris over at Serendipity Mine tagged me for a “10 Things You Don’t Know About Me” meme. There’s not a whole lot that people who read this blog DON’T know about me. So I’ll try for something new.
10 Things You Don’t Know About Me (The sex edition)
10.)I’m not a very vampy, vixen-y kinda girl. The people who know me can attest to this.
9.)I used to get speeding tickets all of the time because I’m obviously not all that great at flirting with officers. Now that I’ve got “Tired, Suburban Soccer Mom” written all over my appearance, I just drive alot slower. Its cheaper that way.
8.)I’m not good at flirting. I’d need alot of booze first. This is one of the big reasons I could never be single again.
7.)If I try to give my hubby a seductive look, he asks me what’s wrong with my eye.
6.)If I try to give him a seductive smile, he’ll ask me, “Why does it look like your mouth is full of marbles?”
5.)If I tried to do a sexy impression of Tawny whatsherface, whithering all over the hood of a car in a Whitesnake video, someone would probably call an ambulance because they thought I was having a seizure.
4.)I’m sure that if I ever saw my “O face” in the mirror, I’d probably be so mortified that I’d never be able to reach an “O” again. (Ack! I just talked about my “O” face. I’m SO glad my parents don’t have an internet connection! They can continue to believe that I’m still a virgin and have never seen a penis in all my life…)
3.)Sometimes I get a serious case of the giggles while the hubs and I are starting to “get into the grove”. It irritates the crap out of him. Apparently that’s not a good time to remember a funny quote or someone’s hysterical blog entry. Go figure.
2.)I find “smart” and “funny” to be very sexy traits. This is a huge reason why I find my honeybuns so very hott.
1.) I’ve never been in an “adult” store or even seen a “toy” in real life. How sad is that? I can’t even imagine how much I’d nervously giggle through one of those “Passion Parties“. (I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that sort of stuff at all.) I blame my strict and repressed Catholic upbringing — the kind that made Puritans look lazy, slutty and unashamed.
I’m tagging Nancy, Linlee, Livelee, and Melissa. Feel free to ignore or use for your own amusement.
Red Rollerskate on 30 Jan 2007 at 4:55 am #
I second the homemade porn thing! No “o” face for me either!
SUEB0B on 30 Jan 2007 at 5:40 am #
One time I went into an adult store with a friend and actually sort of got the vapors…I was all woogy. I am such a wimpy wimp.
Alissa on 30 Jan 2007 at 12:48 pm #
I’ve never been in an adult store, but I have been to one of those parties. I was quite self-conscious at first, but it was actually alot of fun once I relaxed a little bit. I never did say much, but it was hilarious listening to all the women with way less self-consciousness than me!
Kristin on 30 Jan 2007 at 5:28 pm #
#7 just about killed me… funniest thing I have read all day!
Andrea on 30 Jan 2007 at 5:46 pm #
That’s IT! We need to have a STL Blogger’s Passion Party. Ha! What a riot that would be! Though considering I couldn’t make the last STL blogger meet up, I don’t know that I’d be terribly comfortable meeting you guys and then going right in for the toys talk.
mk on 30 Jan 2007 at 6:48 pm #
Oh # 6 makes me laugh! My husband would say something like that too me!
Too much fun!
Stephanie A. on 30 Jan 2007 at 8:29 pm #
These were all very funny, Lisa, but don’t short-change yourself! You’ve definitely got sexy going on!
I think you look like Tricia Helfer of Battlestar Gallactica (especially in the scense where her hair isn’t bleached) and I know that tons of men find her to be sexy.
LiveLee on 31 Jan 2007 at 5:34 am #
i think i can hang with ya on this…maybe not strictly ‘the sex edition’ but i could probably throw in a few?
my mom does read my blog.
Reba on 31 Jan 2007 at 1:18 pm #
I am the same as you. I always feel so stupid trying to be sexy. I guess it is a good thing that just me walking into a room turns my Fiance on.
Christina_the_wench on 31 Jan 2007 at 2:18 pm #
We should plan a blog party AT an adult store. Think we could get kicked out?
carrie on 31 Jan 2007 at 7:19 pm #
Too funny. I get the giggles too.
Carrie
BlogWhore on 01 Feb 2007 at 3:27 am #
LOL.
Finally, a mommy-blog not from Canada, but the good ole Midwest.
Lori on 01 Feb 2007 at 3:45 am #
Gawd, my vibrator has gotten me through many, MANY dry spells. I can’t imagine not having one.
I loved your items about the seductive look and smile! Too funny. Brian would probably say the same things to me.
Quinn on 01 Feb 2007 at 7:18 pm #
(not sure why this comment won’t show up, trying again)
um, I worked in an “adult store.” It was awesome. And informative. And disgusting. All at the same time.
HollowSquirrel on 02 Feb 2007 at 5:13 pm #
Hilarious spin on the meme! Thanks for the laugh! You definitely should throw a STL Blogger sex toy party. And liveblog it!
Isabel on 02 Feb 2007 at 6:43 pm #
Wait, you’ve never seen a “toy” in real life? I’m a PRUDE and even I’ve seen one!!! (or maybe even more than one…)
Slackermommy on 05 Feb 2007 at 3:23 pm #
Too funny! I should have a Passions Party and invite you. I’m very open about sex so don’t get me talkin’! You would definitely be embarrassed for me.
Kevin on 05 Feb 2007 at 9:00 pm #
My wife used to be like that WAY back when we started dating. Of course, she was 18 so what kind of “toy” or “adult” store experience could someone that age have back in the day (late 80’s). When I finally turned 18, my very first official act as an adult was to purchase an edition of Penthouse Letters. She came over, saw it, and started reading. From there it grew to pictures and from there to videos and from there to Passion Parties.
Now, she’ll ask, anyone at work get any new movies you can get a copy of?
Nancy on 07 Feb 2007 at 5:07 am #
Lisa, I’m not ignoring that tag. I just need to finish my darn vacation book first.
Phoenix on 12 Feb 2007 at 7:17 am #
as for number one… may I suggest a little place called good vibrations? check them out online a goodvibes dot com I believe.
Sorry, couldnt’ resist.