If you give a kid a snowday
If you give a kid a snowday… And the daddy has already been out of town for several days…. And won’t be coming home for another 48 hours (if you’re lucky)… And the mommy has a sinus infection…. And hasn’t gotten much sleep in several days…. And the child no longer naps… And the mommy hasn’t had five freaking minutes to herself all day… And the boy feels compelled to scratch at the bathroom door and whine EVERY time she’s trying to pee… And then the mommy calls the daddy because she’s tired and wants to connect with another adult… And the daddy isn’t listening, nor talking but just sitting there in silence saying his brain is fried then blows her off… And the mommy looks around realizing that there’s still THREE MORE HOURS BEFORE SHE CAN PUT THE BOY TO BED…. And why is this kid constantly trying to argue with her in EVERY exchange she has with him… And when she finally does put the boy to bed, he whines, fusses, and gets out of bed needing bathroom breaks and various stuffed animals, and voicing “requests” on behalf of the dog… And then when she’s thinking she can finally go to bed, she finds the boy peed on the bathroom floor and rubbed yogurt drink all over the countertop and the back of a couch… And she has to clean this up.
When all that happens, you end up with a mom who’s feels (and looks) beat down. A mom who’s eaten eight pounds of candy… Just to keep her awake and to keep from flying into a homicidal rage… A mom who’s THISFREAKINGCLOSE to buying a damn plane ticket and showing up at her hubby’s client’s company then depositing boy on the steps screaming, “YOU. TAKE HIM. I’M DONE!” And then running away from home to never, ever return. Well… maybe but only for that cute, new pair of shoes she’s recently gotten.
I now can understand why certain breeds of spiders kill their mates after sex. Who needs the aggravation? Especially if you’re going to be left alone to raise the little critters all by yourself anyway? But I can understand even more clearly why some animals eat their young….
(I know, I’m whining… I have it pretty easy. And I also know, many of you have days like these. But what I want to know is HOW did you not tie your own tubes with a steak knife?)
Pendullum on 14 Feb 2007 at 7:28 pm #
Ohhhhhhh….
Know the feeling sista…
and if I could… I would buy you/hell both of us a ticket ANYWHERE!!!just to sit in a cafe/bar and have the ‘boys’ look after their own….
and you know… we would talk… we would listen to each other… and heck… we would have a good time… and we would not have to think about what we were making for dinner… because we would order it off a menu!!!
Cagey on 14 Feb 2007 at 7:51 pm #
I was just thinking yesterday how I’m going to do it without a naptime. I live for naptime!
When my nephews got past needing a nap, my sister still insists on “quiet time”. They don’t have to sleep, but they do have to sit quietly and occupy themselves with books. No running, no jumping, no crazy stuff. Not sure if that is an option for you, but she says it helps to give them some rest.
But please, no self-surgeries. Although, that may just be your ticket on Oprah. Or Dr. Phil. ha!
Linlee on 14 Feb 2007 at 7:55 pm #
Do we need to go out to dinner? You can drink and I can watch, lol.
Email me if you want to go out.
Heather on 14 Feb 2007 at 8:06 pm #
Oh, honey! You need to give the boy a bowl of ice cream, lock yourself in the bathroom with a fruity drink and soak in the tub.
You absolutely slay me!
MotoMom on 14 Feb 2007 at 8:07 pm #
Forget the plane ticket! Book a hotel room and pack a bag. You can pick up dad at the airport, drop him at home and make your escape while he carries in his bags. You can then lock yourself in your hotel and finally pee in peace. That is if you can make it through the next 48 hours.
Alissa on 14 Feb 2007 at 8:34 pm #
I didn’t tie my own tubes with a steak knife ONLY because DH had a vasectomy.
Hopefully there will be school tomorrow. If not, there’s always Benadryl at bedtime for the boy…
MSUgal86 on 14 Feb 2007 at 10:08 pm #
hang in there!
Sarah on 14 Feb 2007 at 10:55 pm #
Oh, pobrecita. You just hang in there; it’ll all blow over and work itself out. You can do it!
Lisa on 14 Feb 2007 at 11:17 pm #
Uh, my tubes are tied. Just not with a steak knife.
Oh, The Joys on 15 Feb 2007 at 1:27 am #
That is one UNIVERSAL sentiment!!
Mayberry on 15 Feb 2007 at 3:13 am #
damn. some valentine’s day. he better come back with some diamonds!
amisare waswerebeen on 15 Feb 2007 at 3:39 am #
I would wait until he got home, hand off the kids and say, “I’m leaving. I’ll be back later.” No further explanation, it wasn’t needed and he knew better than to ask.
SUEB0B on 15 Feb 2007 at 5:15 am #
You could do as Notorious Mom Melissa Summers suggested on the Today Show: sell him on EBay.
I hope you get a break soon.
carrie on 15 Feb 2007 at 5:38 am #
Does he have a Gameboy yet?
Totally not suggesting that you plug him in, but on those rare days when you need an itsy, bitsy break…just sayin’!
Kid swap? That works to. You take mine and I’ll take yours!
Carrie
Samantha on 15 Feb 2007 at 1:33 pm #
*best evil laugh* Boy have I had THOSE days!! But, I have to say, I dont know which is worse, being stuck at home with hubby because he cant work outside, or being stuck at home with both girls because they dont have school. Wait, I know whats worse…being stuck at home with all 3 of them LOL!! I frequently (well as frequently as a busy mom can) take mom breaks
Reba on 15 Feb 2007 at 1:36 pm #
Should have sent him out to play in the snow. I was lucky enough to have a sister watch mine, so that I could go into work. Although I would have much rather stayed home and played in the snow.
dodo on 15 Feb 2007 at 1:44 pm #
Make sure you tell him (the elder, not the small one) how let down you felt by his not engaging with you on the phone.
Mrs. Chicky on 15 Feb 2007 at 3:26 pm #
I hear children taste like chicken. It’s a good thing they don’t taste like chocolate.
Melissa on 15 Feb 2007 at 4:02 pm #
1. Find liquor cabinet.
2. Select something strong.
3. Hide.
Oh how I know that feeling. Hang in there, find a good hiding spot.
Amber on 15 Feb 2007 at 4:24 pm #
I have had non-stop snow days and sickness since New Year’s. I am BEYOND reason at this point.
Christina_the_wench on 15 Feb 2007 at 5:04 pm #
Alcohol. Time and time again, alcohol.
Pattie on 15 Feb 2007 at 5:32 pm #
Some days I would have tied my own tubes with my bare hands, never mind the steakknife!
Hang in there, Lisa!
reformattingmybrain on 15 Feb 2007 at 7:22 pm #
These kind of days are awful
Hope today is better!
mammacheryl on 22 Feb 2007 at 2:12 pm #
I can’t believe I went this long without reading you. Pretty easy? That stuff is enough to put anybody over the edge. I’m not a drinker… and even I would be mighty tempted to suck down some vodka after an evening like that.