Ignats.

we have NO idea where it came from, but family lore gives credit to my dad’s dad. which means it’s probably deragatory (sp?) or VERY un-PC.

the thing is, it comes in handy for parents, because you can talk about your kid right in front of him and he doesn’t even realize it.

example:

Mom: yay! as soon as i put ignats down for a nap, we can go do that thing we’ve been wanting to do!

Dad: Cool!

Kid: huh?

you might want to consider using this term. it came in handy for my parents. by the time the kid figures out you are talking about them, it’s too late. now, i use it in reference to my dog. like, “crap. i gotta get home and let ignats out.”

hmmm…come to think of it, it would make a good dog name….

oh, and my babysitter used to threaten us with this line: “if you don’t knock it off, i’m going to hang you by your toenails and whip you with a wet noodle!”

which would always make us giggle.

when my little sister was a baby, she couldn’t pronounce “ice cream”. she pronounced it more like “rye fream” — to this day, that is how i say ice cream!

then of course, there are all of our little nicknames we have. but there are 7 kids in my family, and i won’t bore you with all that.

Lately, my best friend and I have been calling each other ‘Bitchy Boo’. It’s a term of endearment, I assure you and a very long story

1. Do you want to go in the chokey? (From the movie Matilda)
2. I’m going to knock you into the next room and hubby follows up with “And I’ll knock you back into this room”.
3. Do you want me to lock you in a dark closet?
4. Don’t make me beat you.
(Of course we don’t actually do these things. Usually the kids laugh at us. They know we are wimps)
5. I’ve got to drop the kids off at the pool stands for “pooping”.

Should I go on or have you lost respect?

Um, we say someone is a “mountain road” when they’re dishonest.

And if you’re “ripping up tissue boxes” then you’re doing something that makes no sense to anyone.

“The female condition” is the answer and excuse for just about any illogical occurrence - no matter who’s to blame.

“Building bookcases” is adult alone time. More specifically, it’s trying to have a baby, but it can fly with just alone time.

Oh, and when I ask for Donald’s magic or his magic stick, I don’t mean what it sounds like. I’m looking for his flash drive or his Carmex.

And at our house - it’s “spider bark” or “swamp duck” for when someone passes gas. Oh, and a friend coined the term “crop dusting” for doing that down an aisle at a store then running away (usually cackling like a madman, yeah he’s fun).

Then there’s always the “this is awful, you don’t want any of it” for when something is tasty.

For example: He asks me to swing by the hardware store to pick up something …and I know there is no way I can fit it into my schedule, so I say “Negative, Ghostrider, the pattern is full.”

I know, silly. We stole it from a video game.

So is, “you better warn me if you’re gonna crack one off like that” coming from the boys to my husband. (I try to pretend I don’t hear)

And my personal fav “did you hear that spider?” when someone passes gas.

It is all about the poop and the farts with my lovely boys.

Katie likes to say “yet’s go” instead of “let’s” and we laugh because she does not talk babytalk EVER. So now we find ourselves saying “yet’s _______ ” all the time.

Carrie

From the Maury Show.

lol.

Sylvia C.