Midwestern Mommy

There are three very cool chickas (Liz of Mom 101, Christina at A Mommy Story and Tammie and Soul Gardening) who are ready to have babies very soon. Kristen, Julie, Catherine and Nancy were kind enough to host a virtual shower.

So please raise your glass in a toast to the hot mamas: May your labor be quick. May your children be good eaters/sleepers. And may you lose all of your pregnancy weight by your six-week appointment. Oh and may you be surrounded by wonderful friends and family who will help you out. Or even force you to let them help you out when necessary.

Oh and now’s the part where I was asked to share the best of the assvice and advice I’ve received…

Stick to a schedule. YOU show that baby who’s boss. This STILL makes me laugh till I cry! Clearly, this is assvice. What most people don’t understand (until they reach adulthood and are parents themselves) is that kids are TOTALLY in charge! Look in your grocery cart. Its filled with foods you know they will eat. When you go to Target, how much of that stuff is for YOU? How much for the kids? But we parents often (and gladly) sacrifice our free time and disposable income for kidstuff like dance classes, summer camps, and birthday parties. And we do it because we love them. Its a good thing kids don’t catch on sooner. That could get REALLY expensive. And more than a little crazy.

The great advice? Easy. Make time for your honey. Do date nights. The hubby and I learned this the hard way. And now date nights are a priority. (You may find its the only time you actually do some primping.) And if you can’t get a sitter? Don’t sweat it. Put the baby to bed and hang out at home. Its mostly about the talking, laughing, hand-holding, having fun. Reconnecting is good!

And if ya’ll are looking to participate in the shower — play some games, win prizes, post your well wishes — visit here. And remember, eating a piece of virtual shower cake has NO calories. So you can eat as much as you want!

Awhile back the lovely Dana had posted about how little boys know how to turn almost anything into some sort of toy gun or sword.

Recently, after taking yet another pregnancy test, (it was negative) I got to thinkin‘…

Usually, I pee on a stick a few days before the expected period time, the day of, and every few days following (if late). And being that we’ve been trying for a baby for more than two years now, I’ve peed on ALOT of sticks. After I curse the negative result, I usually just throw the stick away. But… What if I would have kept them?

I come from a long line of German Catholic farmers. These peeps have made efficiency and resourcefulness an art form. Who needs MacGuyver when you’ve got genetics like that? But I’ve often wondered about the things I could do with all of those sticks…

Top 10 Things I could construct out of two years worth of old, peed-on, pregnancy test sticks.

10.) A three-story statue of the Virgin Mary. I love the fact that she was a chick who wasn’t looking to get pregnant and didn’t even have to have sex in order to get “knocked up.” Plus, I don’t think Jesus would have turned out half as well if I was the one raising him!

9.) A grotto. Being that we have tons of photos of the boy placed throughout the house, I’ve often referred to our home as the “Shrine of Seth.” One with seating for 40 in the backyard would be the perfect compliment.

8.) A new backyard retaining wall. Anything would be better than the collapsing, rotting wall we have back there now. Heck, we could help the whole neighborhood.

7.) A building half the size of Lowe’s to store gardening tools, lawn-mower, the various sexual torture devices we currently hide in the basement*, as well as the b-b-q grill.

6.) A king-sized bed, nightstands, and matching dressers — for the entire family. If I vacuumed out the car, I’d have enough dog hair to make several king-sized mattresses. Really!

5.) Super cool playground equipment — like a 4-story slide!

4.) A small chocolate/key lime pie/pineapple curry/sushi factory. (Don’t worry we’d alternate days on what’s produced and when. Don’t want the chocolate smelling like sushi or curry.)

3.) A center for emotionally-fried mothers. Moms could drop off the difficult child, get a few hours of free babysitting then get a massage, pedicure, or even nap.

2.) A team of robots to clean the house, and the rest to entertain/cook breakfast for “the boy” — especially when he wakes up cranky, hungry, and far too early for his mama’s taste.

1.) A private plane. That way we could travel more. But, I guess since the engines might melt a plane made out of that sort of material, maybe we should settle for some sort of ginormous glider?

But if my cousin Linlee saved up her old sticks too? We could make a structure that rivals some of Donald Trumps largest towers. Or our own version of Six Flags — with rides, roller coasters, eateries, and amphitheater. Fortunately she “hit paydirt” and is eagerly awaiting a bundle of her own.

Anyone else have any ideas?

(Oh and please don’t take this to mean I feel sorry for myself. I feel so lucky I have my little guy.)

*Ha! Just threw that in to see if you were paying attention. There are none in the basement. They are actually stored in the garage…

Upon moving into our super awesome neighborhood, Seth met Luke, his “bestest friend eb-er.” The boys get along famously. In fact, Luke refers to Seth as his “other brother that lives down the street.”

A few months ago, Luke got a cool Mustang convertible. The two of them have put many a mile on that little car already. Luke is always the driver and Seth is ever-content to enjoy the scenery.

The other day as Luke drove Seth to our house (with me walking behind) he asked, while wearing a most solomn look, if he could park his car in our garage. I had to stifle a giggle. How could I say no?

The way the two get into the car? Its like looking into the future. They’ve already perfected that 17-year-old “We’re two cool dudes with a car. Now let’s go find some chicks or trouble” swagger. I don’t know whether to be surprised or a little scared. (Or maybe a little bit of both.)

But there’s no denying that these two? Have some exciting adventures ahead of them.

August will be a BIG month at the house of Midwestern Mommy. In four short months, “the boy” will be skipping off to Kindergarten. He can’t wait to go. (I plan to celebrate the day by doing a little happy dance. But I’ll likely cry my fool head off.)

While Seth is ready socially and emotionally, I wasn’t sure if he was academically. That is, until I was sent a cool little book called Let’s Get Ready For Kindergarten by educator/mom Stacey Kannenberg.

Let’s Get Ready for Kindergarten touches on everything from letter and number identification to learning to tell time and identifying the seasons. The book is a great tool for gauging your preschooler’s strong and weak points — something most moms really appreciate.

What I liked:
The pages are brightly colored and visually appeal to kids. Seth dove into the book right away and got quite a kick out of “Mrs. Good and the Cedar Valley Kids”. Lately, we’ve been using the book at night before bed. We curl up and go through a few pages. Its a good way to get him to sit and slow his little boy body down.

But he’s not the only one who’s a big fan. At one point, I introduced the book during one of Seth’s playdates. It was a big hit with that child as well. In fact, Seth and his friend fought over the book!

Also, one of the coolest features of the book is that kids can use dry erase markers to practice writing their letters, numbers and contact information. And when you wipe the marker stuff off, it actually comes off! YEAY! Oh and if your child has sticky, dirty, chocolatey fingers? That stuff comes off too.

What I didn’t like:
Unfortunately the pages rip easily. The pages aren’t fragile but I thought they’d be a bit more durable.

This book is perfect for:
This is a great book to have on hand this summer. Are you going on a summer vacation? Take the book with you in the car or on the flight. Do you have time to kill in between your children’s sporting events? Here’s something to do. Its also a great book for grandparents and daycare providers to keep on hand. And when your kindergartner graduates, there’s a Let’s Get Ready For First Grade edition as well.

TO WIN COPIES OF BOTH BOOKS GO TO PARENTBLOGGERS http://www.parentbloggers.com. Post a comment (on the entry about this product) as to why you’d like these books. A winner will be picked once the campaign is finished.

This review was written for The Parent Bloggers Network. If you have a product you’d like PBN to review, click on this link for more info.

It started on our family jaunt to Mexico — our son’s interest in the Spanish language. And ever since, he takes great delight in asking a daily barrage of questions like, “What’s ‘dog’ in Spanish?” or “How do I say, ‘booty-butt tormado‘ in Spanish?”

So when the opportunity to review the Boca Beth program arose, I jumped at the chance.

To give you some background: The Boca Beth program uses puppets (like the one shown in this photo), music and movement to teach Spanish to kids of varying ages. The founder, Beth Butler, has spent more than 10 years in preschool and elementary school classrooms and has even lived in Mexico. She’s produced two bilingual educational movies and speaks nationally with parents and educators on how to make learning a second language fun. So yes, she does know what she’s talking about.

I decided the best way for Seth to start off the program was to act as if he “owned” it. When the package came, I told him it was a surprise for him. After opening and explaining the contents, he begged to watch the video. We watched it together, ate popcorn and snuggled. When it was finished, he begged to watch it again. (We bypassed the second part of the DVD – the interactive class the first time.) We were off to a fabulous start!

What I thought:
The videos are cheerful and enthusiastic. Butler’s passion for the project is very apparent. She does make it easy for children (and even numbskull adults like me!) to quickly pick up various Spanish phrases. And I like how she mixes Spanish phrases into popular children’s songs. In fact, I was astonished — Seth started singing the Spanish words to “No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed” after watching the video just three times.

Children play an active part throughout the video. They sing, they dance, they have fun. And they speak Spanish too! For my son, seeing the bigger kids speaking Spanish was a big sell.

The puppet, shaker, and bilingual coloring book that came in the package are terrific additions. In fact, Seth has proudly shown off the shaker and puppet to his best friend, cousins and grandparents when they’ve visited. And being that he loves books, we often go through the coloring book at night before bed.

What “the boy” thought:
At five, Seth is a self-proclaimed “big kid”. He realized during the second viewing that alot of the kids in the video are younger than he is — in his words, “babies.” He was put off. And when he saw the interactive spot? He complained about the children being babies. The video I received is targeted to toddler-aged kiddos. I think he would have been much more interested if there would have been more kids ages six to nine.

When he heard the first few songs on the Boca Beth CD, he promptly labeled them “baby songs”. So he fussed up a storm until I stopped the CD. But I do plan to keep reintroduce the CD again soon.

Frankly, he would have also been more interested if Boca Beth came out with a ‘How to Speak Spanish Potty Talk’ edition. But its a good thing she hasn’t because I really don’t want to hear him say, “poopy-diaper bed head butt” in Spanish 100 times a day. Its bad enough hearing it so often in English. (But that’s a post for another day.)

Overall:
I don’t think the younger children’s appearance in the video is a shortcoming. But I do wish the video and CD would have been available a few years ago. I KNOW that if I would have introduced the program to Seth when he was 18-24 months, he would have LOVED it as much as his Baby Einstein vids.

Throughout my childhood, my family and I typically attended mass on Saturday nights. We were little Catholic creatures of habit — occupying the same pew and even sitting in the same order.
For a period of years, a certain young couple usually sat in the pew ahead of us. I thought the man very handsome. And I envied the beautiful woman’s golden locks.

From that church pew, we watched as the couple courted, married and started their own family. As time marched on, we were lucky enough to watch as their oldest child grew from a teeny, tiny baby into a darling little girl.

I stopped going to church at 19. I lost track of this family.

Almost five years ago, my little brother, Matt, started seeing a beautiful young woman. I instantly recognized her name — she’s the oldest daughter of the couple we used to sit behind in church. Candace is the little girl I used to smile at during mass. Sometimes I’d even make silly faces at her (if my mom wasn’t looking). But truth be told, I was much more amused by her than what she was by me.

Yesterday Matt and Candace got married in a beautifully touching ceremony. Afterwards, there was much laughing, dancing, drinking and celebrating.

Here’s to the newlyweds! Wishing you an abundance of love, happiness, and prosperity. We love you both so much!

(Sorry for crappy quality of the photos. My camera battery was shot. Anywho… People in last photo: my little sis, mom, me, dad, little brother, my new sis-in-law. )

Life has been hectic with Easter and my “little” brother’s upcoming nuptials.

So after this weekend? You bet your “booty-butt tormado” (Oy! Been spending far too much time with the boy lately) there will be photos. Filled with hot chicks. (Like my sis, my new sis-in-law and this chick.) I’m pretty sure they won’t be wild, wet, naked or pole dancing. But if that sitch arises, I’m SO taking photos! Because that would be blogging GOLD, people!

But anyway… If you don’t know why I’m posting this photo, read this and consider this your half-ass update. Because now there’s FIVE eggs in that nest. (Shudder) Can you imagine taking care of five babies at one time? There are not (at least for me) enough anti-anxiety drugs in the world…

Last night Seth asked me to paint his fingernails. Of course, I obliged (much to the chagrin of my husband). Hey, there are guys out there that wear nail polish. Course they don’t wear pale pink but eh…

Seth LOVES Scissor Sisters “Take Your Mama Out All Night.” In fact, he’s often promised that when he grows up? He’s gonna take me out all night.

And when he grows up, he says he wants to be a flight attendant.

You know what all of this means don’t you?

It means that when he grows up, he’ll get his mama “jacked up on some cheap campaign and let the good times all roll out” after we get manicures while on a fabulous vacation where we didn’t have to pay for airfare.

SCORE!

But of course, things could change after puberty.

At some point in many a woman’s life, she’ll open her eyes and realize babies and pregnant women? Seem to be EVERYWHERE. Friends, family members, strangers, coworkers… Even the neighbor’s dog is “knocked up”. Everyone’s hormones seem to be going into overdrive. Eggs are being fertilized right and left, left and right. Well, everyone’s eggs but HERS!

Before Seth was born (after I miscarried) I noticed this phenomenon. And in the last two years? It FEELS like the population (at least here) has exploded. I’ve lost count of the birth announcements received and the gifts I’ve sent. As Andrea notes, this is happening in her world as well.

She and her hubby are trying to add to their brood. But he’s out of town when she ovulates. Boy can I relate!

We would LOVE to have another child. We’ve been trying for more than two years now. Until January, hubby’s worked at a not-so-family friendly company. His work dictated his travels. And most of the time, the travel coincided with my ovulating.

So when he changed jobs, I was all, “Yahoo! Let’s get SERIOUS about this babymaking!” Well, his travel schedule for January and March — have done the same freaking thing. (And being that the man has no idea when I ovulate, I know he’s not planning this.)

The first two times we tried to get pregnant, I got “knocked up” quickly. So YEARS of trying? Wasn’t something we expected.

And while sometimes it is difficult to hear the joyous news of certain expectant women (those who are already moms) I’m strangely okay with each period that passes. This may sound odd, but I regard it as a gift — a gift of time to focus solely on the child I do have. As I’ve learned from the mothers around me, additional children equal more joy but also more stress to a marriage, less free time, less sleep, more work and more worry. While I don’t have the joy an additional child brings, I DO have the luxury to savor my child as a baby, toddler and now a preschooler.

I may never get pregnant. And right now, adoption isn’t looking feasible. And who knows? Maybe God doesn’t feel I’m ready for the challenge an additional child brings. Maybe I need to grow in patience first. Maybe the WORLD isn’t ready for another product of our intermingling, crazy DNA. Maybe there’s some other lesson Marc, Seth, or I am meant to learn as a result.

I look back on my life thus far — previous experiences and struggles have taught me some invaluable lessons. And although sometimes I might grumble about the “timetable” we’re on, overall, I’m at peace. In this journey of life, I have complete faith that — for now — our little family of three? Is exactly what it is meant to be.

This is our front door.

This is a close-up of one of the wreaths donning our front door. Do you seen anything strange in the lower right quadrant? No? Well, let me give you a closer look.

That’s right, there’s a nest tucked away in the corner of the wreath that’s on our front door.

One fine day a bird decided that our wreath was a most advantageous place to build a home… A home where she’d start and raise her family. And honestly, I think she’s on to something. The wreaths are better protected from the elements than tree branches.

I don’t have the heart to turn out a soon-to-be mom, so she’s staying. Her babies, when born, will poop all over our porch. And there won’t be any sort of “thank you” from her or her the young’uns once they leave. But hey, we have the coolest view. Standing on tiptoe, inside the house, you can see right into the nest. Seth thinks its the most awesome thing ever.

I wonder if soon-to-be bird moms get excited about their babies coming? I wonder if bird moms ever chirp things like, “Stop aggravating your sister” or “If you poop in this nest ONE MORE TIME, I swear I’m going to push you out of it.” I wonder if bird moms ever get together and compare nest building techniques, complain about the kids’ pickey eating habbits or how dad isn’t “pulling his weight”.

It’ll be kinda nice having some babies around the house again — especially ones I don’t have to feed or get up with in the middle of the night. Sorry mama bird. That’s all yours.