Midwestern Mommy » Open letter to old guy in tight swim trunks at pool...

Open letter to old guy in tight swim trunks at pool…

Posted on July 26, 2007
Filed Under Uncategorized |

Dear Dude,

Today I took my little man to the pool. BlogHer is coming up and in a fit best described as “brave stupidity” I bought a few sleeveless blouses. I hear a tan will help the look of my old-lady arms so we headed out for a bit o’ sun.

And what to my wandering eyes should appear but you, dear old man. You were, um… something — sauntering around in your shorty-short trunks. And wow, the tightness of those shorts really, uh… highlighted your “package”.

I quickly realized that looking at your “junk” was like looking directly at the sun. I shouldn’t do it at all, lest I WANT scorched corneas.

But next time, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE wear some trunks that actually fit you. You may think squeezing into your 8-year-old grandson’s shorts makes those chicken legs look good but, um…. No.

Good luck.

Lisa

P.S. Your lady friend didn’t seem embarrassed at all in regards to your “look”. In fact, she seemed sort of proud of you. I guess she agrees with that saying — “good things come in small packages.”

Comments

23 Responses to “Open letter to old guy in tight swim trunks at pool…”

Heather on July 26th, 2007 10:22 am

Hmmm… wonder if he’s related to the grubby guy with half of his “cheeks” hanging out in the grocery store. I was so afriad one of the kids were going to yell out, “I can see his butt!!”
debra on July 26th, 2007 11:01 am

Ewww! Those are the times you wish you could shake your head like an Etch-a-Sketch and erase that image in your brain.
Rebekah on July 26th, 2007 11:38 am

LOL, good laugh first thing in the morning
Alissa on July 26th, 2007 11:42 am

And it sucks, too, because it would just keep drawing my eye. I wouldn’t be able to look away, even though I desperately wanted to
Misty on July 26th, 2007 12:18 pm

The first time I ever went to a water park, I turned and nearly ran into a man who was well into his 70’s. He was tall and thin, covered in grey body hair and in the smallest Speedo imaginable.
I am still traumatized.
Christina_the_wench on July 26th, 2007 1:49 pm

I firmly believe that when we get to be old ladies that we will not give a shit either. Me and my old lady arms are looking forward to it. Let’s hope we don’t scare small children.
Lisa on July 26th, 2007 2:44 pm

ew!! a moment seared into your brain for all eternity!!
CamiKaos on July 26th, 2007 3:57 pm

urgh. I am with you, I saw some of that myself yesterday taking K to the pool. It was disturbing.
Jenn on July 26th, 2007 4:47 pm

Sometimes I don’t think some people know precisely what is mirror is for. Because if they’d actually USE one, they’d realize they aren’t dressed for public consumption.
Julie Wright on July 26th, 2007 6:40 pm

Where is the mental delete button when you need it? I shudder for you. This is the reason there are so many people in therapy.
Virtualsprite on July 26th, 2007 8:11 pm

The horror! Ugh… I just hate that. And you’re right… it is like staring directly in the sun. I’m seconding the mental Etch-a-Sketch.
Dana on July 26th, 2007 9:10 pm

I cannot, CANNOT handle old man butt or junk. Some things are best left in the dark, dudes.
flutter on July 26th, 2007 9:36 pm

ew.
Mrs. Jo on July 27th, 2007 3:03 am

Freakin hilarious…I was laughing so hard! You remind me of a friend in the way you describe things! Just great!
Angela on July 27th, 2007 3:47 am

Ha! Too funny. I can imagine why he would want to highlight those chicken legs. Sexy.
Whymommy on July 27th, 2007 4:40 am

OH my gosh this is funny!

Enjoy your time at BlogHer!
rachel on July 27th, 2007 8:39 pm

you are so funny.

have fun at blogher. I went last year and met really cool people.
Mommy off the Record on July 27th, 2007 11:24 pm

Yucky yuck!

p.s. my verification word was “bxaad”. Ha!
Pattie on July 28th, 2007 9:04 pm

Ewww! That whole image greatly disturbs me. I am guessing he doesn’t own a mirror.
Hey, and I hope you are feeling better!
Simply Bananas on July 28th, 2007 10:38 pm

that was so funny I’m still laughing, thank you for that.
carrie on July 29th, 2007 6:44 am

Gross. I think I’d prefer burnt corneas. That image however, will be forever seared into my mind.

Have a fun weekend!

Carrie
dodo on July 31st, 2007 12:32 pm

euch! if i’d known that was coming i’d have waited til i’d finished my lunch before catching up with your blog today!
Terri@SteelMagnolia on August 1st, 2007 3:56 am

Ewww… I had a total visual!!