She’s dying. The doctors have told her there’s nothing more they can do. She’s endured cancer’s wrath and beat it twice. But this third time? The cancer came back angrier, more aggressive. She’s been given morphine to ease her pain. And so she sleeps. The priest has administered last rites. Loved ones visit to offer support and encouragement. But cancer will ultimately claim her body.
I hadn’t seen her in a few months. But when she showed up for our Wednesday night out, a week ago, I experienced a mix of emotions. I was so happy to see her. But yet alarmed. Her person was so altered. She had lost even more weight. She no longer stood tall and straight.
“Her kidneys are shutting down,” I was told.
I wanted to cry for her. But then I saw her smile. And I knew. She’s the same woman she’s always been. She’s weak but that smile? It is still the same beautiful smile that could inspire a poet to create his greatest masterpiece or embolden a knight to race into battle. Her eyes gave us a glimpse into her spirited and strong, yet gentle soul. She was so very altered, yet inside, still so much the same.
She needed help that night – walking, sitting. I don’t think she was comfortable the entire time we were out. Three of her dear friends sat at her sides – as if to form a shield of love and fierce protection. She listened mainly. But she smiled a lot.
Toward the end of her visit, the look in her eyes spoke what she would not. She is tired of fighting. She’s tired of being tired. She’s tired of feeling pain. Its all getting to be too much. But yet she continues to fight. Her body will fail before her spirit does. She is a mother. She is determined. And she wants so desperately to win this battle — for herself, family, and her friends. And we want so desperately for her to triumph as well.
I was at a loss for words that night, so I told her what was in my heart.
“I’m SO happy you came out tonight. I’ve missed seeing you.”
We talked about how I cut my hair. We talked about school starting. Even though she grew tired, she stayed. My heavy heart lightened as we laughed and listened to a dear friend sing karaoke. My sadness turned to gratitude. This night was her gift to us.
For those few hours, I’d like to think she was able to enjoy herself. I’d like to think she, somewhat, was able to forget about the monster that’s breathing down her neck. And to watch her laugh? To be in her presence and see her smile? It was the most precious gift of the summer. She showed us all — while cancer has ravaged her body, it can’t touch her soul.
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On August 15, the world lost a tireless fighter, devoted wife, a spirited friend and loving mother. Sharon’s first battle with cancer came in college. She not only beat her cancer but went on to acquire a law degree, marry and have two daughters. A few years ago, she beat breast cancer a second time. After being cancer-free for a time, she was diagnosed with bone cancer. Even in the midst of mouth sores from chemo, hospitalizations and broken bones (from the cancer), she kept fighting. Even when doctors told her to get her affairs in order, she was undaunted.
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What has been equally inspiring in Sharon’s story has been the way her closest friends enveloped her in support, cheer and prayer. They babysat. They formed a bible study. They took her to treatment. They made meals or sweets for the family and often just stopped by to visit. Even when strife entered their lives, these women dug deep within themselves. They were her ever-present cheerleaders. They are incredible women with beautiful souls — just like Sharon.
