Redneck Child leash
Are you t’ard of them ornery critters getting away from you while you’re trying to “hook-up” with that “carnie” at the swap meet or when you’re at the neighbors’ trailer buying your crystal meth? Have we got the product for you! This here is whut we like to call the “Critter Keeper 2000.”
And look! You can even “steer” them in the direction you want to go. So if you want to hide them while talking to baby-daddy #1&3″ (Cause DAMN! He’s lookin’ pretty good since he got d’em brown teef pulled) you can!
And it comes off fairly easily — you know, so the critter can git ‘cha another beer or swat flies.
Call now and git two fer the price of one! Operators er standin’ by.
(No “critters” were harmed in this display. In fact, “the boy” seems to thrive on us messing with him in this way. Hey, you may call it “antagonizing”. We call it “attention.”)
(Dear DCFS — I joke about this because it is SO VERY, VERY FAR from the realm of my family’s suburban, white bread world. But in all honesty? He DOES thrive on the hasslin’!)
Dawn on 06 Aug 2007 at 1:03 pm #
You could patent that, you know….
Poopydigs on 06 Aug 2007 at 2:51 pm #
That’s so wrong, but oh-so-funny.
Some days, I feel like putting the dog leash on ella and carrying my dog. It would be much easier.
christina_the_wench on 06 Aug 2007 at 3:06 pm #
Now you’re talkin’ my kinda’ language. *spits*
Seth is still too cute. God help the girls in a few years.
Chris on 06 Aug 2007 at 5:38 pm #
LOL! How funny! Our kids love to be harassed this way also
angela on 07 Aug 2007 at 12:59 am #
The funny thing is he looks so pleased to be in his Critter Keeper 2000.
slackermommy on 07 Aug 2007 at 2:53 am #
I’ve got to get me four of them Critter Keepers!
Rebecca on 07 Aug 2007 at 3:56 am #
You have the cutest little boy ever– I could just eat him up and pinch his cheeks!
BTW- your new site rocks
Can’t wait for our get-together!
nicolle on 07 Aug 2007 at 8:45 am #
hehehe…
i was wondering where you went and then i realized duh! my feeder didn’t automatically update your switcheroonie. oopsie.
bubblewench on 07 Aug 2007 at 11:50 am #
Welcome back! Nice revamp on the site…
How freakin funny is that ‘device’? Your kid looks too happy about it all though! Guess he really does enjoy the hasslin!
Pattie on 07 Aug 2007 at 12:35 pm #
Hey, you laugh, but I could actually use a few of those *LOL*
I just looked through your BlogHer pics. It looks like you ladies had a good time! I am sorry I missed it ;-( Maybe next year!
Lizarita on 07 Aug 2007 at 1:15 pm #
That is SO wrong on so many levels. But SO FUNNY! Thanks for the laugh this morning. And thanks for stopping by my blog. It was good to meet you (breifly) at BlogHer!
becky on 07 Aug 2007 at 2:28 pm #
i love the new look and the slideshow in here:) and LOL at this post and pics!
Julie on 07 Aug 2007 at 5:54 pm #
Funny what kids will let us do to them. But try to comb their hair or do something normal and you get attitude. : )
Woman with Kids on 07 Aug 2007 at 6:13 pm #
Can I place my order here? I’d like two.
…wait… what do you mean you’re kidding? I can’t have them???
GrimRealityGirl on 07 Aug 2007 at 7:28 pm #
Okay, could he be any cuter? Also — can I please order 2 critter keepers? I could use them lately!
Carrie on 07 Aug 2007 at 8:13 pm #
I need one of those for my husband. So I can lock him in the closet and he’ll quit chasing me around the house.
quinn on 07 Aug 2007 at 9:43 pm #
I could have used one of those during last weekend’s babysitting extravaganza. And by the way- the “accent” in this post? Hilarious.
Alissa on 07 Aug 2007 at 10:46 pm #
Ha! I LOVE it! You guys are too funny…and alot like us
flutter on 07 Aug 2007 at 10:56 pm #
Oh too funny
debra on 08 Aug 2007 at 1:49 am #
So funny! “while talking to baby-daddy #1&3? (Cause DAMN! He’s lookin’ pretty good since he got d’em brown teef pulled…” LOL!
Loving your new digs
Congrats on the new domain!
debra on 08 Aug 2007 at 1:50 am #
So funny! “while talking to baby-daddy #1&3? (Cause DAMN! He’s lookin’ pretty good since he got d’em brown teef pulled…” LOL!
Loving your new digs
Congrats on the new domain!
debra on 08 Aug 2007 at 1:50 am #
So funny!
Loving your new digs
Congrats on the new domain!
mimi on 08 Aug 2007 at 2:14 am #
Oh, too funny. Looks like you’re good at wrasslin’ the younguns. Good on ya.
And yes, I remember meeting you! I sat next to you at the panel on ‘naked bloggers’, right?
MSUgal on 08 Aug 2007 at 6:42 am #
parents…wranglers…same concept!
Heather L. on 08 Aug 2007 at 5:15 pm #
I babysit… can I get a bulk discount??? LOL! You crack me up!!!
Love the new blog!!! Looks GREAT!!
L.A. Daddy on 08 Aug 2007 at 11:03 pm #
Awesome! I’m sure I can get one for only 4 easy payments of $39.95?!
Love the new digs. Updating my blogroll…
Candid Yammering on 09 Aug 2007 at 3:35 pm #
LMAO…I’s a hopin’ for ’bout three of dem for da chillin’s….
Do’s they com in critter sizes, too? Weuns need some dat for dem dogs an gators…
Loved this!
LisaS on 10 Aug 2007 at 1:20 am #
I have indeed resorted to this solution. And it works. What more is there to say (except that I do have all of my teeth, despite being from Arkansas)??