A hex upon these:
Posted on August 12, 2007
Filed Under crappy customer service, humor |
Dear Viola Trash Service,
Although our account is up-to-date, you haven’t been picking up our trash for weeks now. You haven’t been returning my phone calls either. But you DID make time to send me a bill for the next three months of service. Are you f*cking kidding me?
A hex upon thee: May your air-conditioning system fail while clogged toilets spew sewage all over the floors thereby causing a noxious stink that, due to the heat, bakes into every porous surface. And? May everyone violently gag when entering said workplace (for at least five minutes at a time) for no less than SIX MONTHS.
Other that? Love and cold puppy noses,
Lisa
Dear Quest Labs,
A few weeks ago you drew FIVE vials of my blood. I made an appointment for 4:50 p.m. because one of the tests required I have my blood drawn after 5 p.m. You close then. So I scheduled it as late as I could. I got there on time. One of your employees was so quick to get out of there, she gave me slews of dirty looks. I was easily out by 5 p.m. But apparently, in her haste to get her drink on, the vials were lost.
You apparently have “no record” of my tests, vials of blood, or that I was even there, according to my doctor’s office. So please explain to me… WHY did I just get a bill for the supposed testing of that blood today? WTF!
A hex upon thee: May you get an unexpected, enormously heavy period while wearing white pants and no undies early into a hot date with a new guy. And may you be in that place without a tampon.
Love and cold puppy noses,
Lisa
P.S. Are you or any of your fellow blog buds sending your kiddos off to kindergarten in a few weeks? Please let me know.
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I know I should be saying, “Hells yeah! What she said!” but your site is just so pretty and I had to tell you that.
Kindergarten, no. First grade? This past week. I’ll be doing Kindergarten again next year…
I’ve had the blood thing happen before, but at least I didn’t get billed for it. What a crock!
My little guy is old enough for Kg, but we’re holding him back for ‘maturity’ reasons. He’ll be going to preschool for his second year this fall.
Um, with ya on Quest labs….bastards.
What is it with the trash companies?? We’ve had nothin’ but trouble with them and we’ve NEVER been delinquent or anything — at one time, they had 2 accounts going for us and then got mad because I only paid for one . . . well, last time I checked, I lived in only 1 house, with 1 address. I know I’m not a rocket scientist, but come on!
So, can I add my weight to your hex with them? Maybe it’ll work even faster that way!!!
A hex indeed.
And … wow … stunning new blog digs girl!
Your hexes are hilarious. Well done. : )
Beautiful new digs!!!!!
And kindergarten? It flies does it not?
My daughter is going into grade five… but I remember kindergarten as though it were yesterday….
I’ve got one of them kindergarteners!
Way to put the smackdown on those trash-ignoring blood-losers.
yes. julia will start kindergarten a week late. ack. super excited for them, but scared.
Oh how I despise those vampires at Quest. DESPISE!
Luckily, our insurance will now only cover lab work done at LabCorps.
And it is a sorry state of affairs when one suddenly misses the horrible people Quest. What happened to the nurses at the doctor’s offices drawing blood? Those were the good ole’ days.
the Girl Child starts kindergarten next week, alas. it’s not like she hasn’t been going to school for years (I work, so it was PreK 2, 3, & 4) but still … its rather crushing not to have a preschooler around the house anymore.
But NOT enough so to have more. No, No, No.
Sigh.
Love that! “A hex upon thee!” So funny, friend.
Umm you have to pay for garbage pick up?? That concept floors me.
Yay for hexes sometimes they just need to be!
Kindergarden was last year, it was all good. I also have a Grade 8′er in the midst ACK I am scared.
P.S. Glad to see you back
Wow- that blood thing is creeping me out.
ooh… don’t mess with YOU little miss black magic!
I’m sending my first baby to kindergarten on Weds. I had to hold back tears during orientation, and when we were talking about him riding the bus I confessed to him that I was nervous about him going. His reply? “Don’t be nervous mommy, just say goodbye.” I guess that means he is ready!!
I’ve got one starting Kindergarten next week. He is so excited that he wants to start today! I’m not quite as excited as he is, but I know he will love school. It is hard to believe how quickly these five years have gone by!
I love a good rant! Especially when accompanied by a hex! I look forward to your next tirade.
Wow! Now that makes you want to trust a company with your labs! LOL.
Mean (service) people Suck!
Love your new site
xoxo
and Yes, we are sending off to kindergarten this year. Happy and sad all at once.
I love the phrase “hex upon thee” …may have to use it. I will give you full credit of course!
I SO feel your pain.
I went for an ALL day blood draw, meaning I had to sit in that skanky lab place all day long and get blood taken every hour and they lost the last three hours. Well, actually, they just forgot to send them and left them in the centrifuge all weekend. You cannot imagine my rage.
Dang girl! We’ll have to do some black magic at our STL dinner to get rid of your hexes.
You know my guy is starting kindergarten. They’ve got their work cut out for them because he can barely write and doesn’t know all his letter sounds.
I am, Lillian starts kindergarten on the 29th (a week after the other kids). I finally got her down to get her last round of kindergarten shots this week, I’ve meant to do it all summer long but waited until the lines were horendous and had to wait two hours in a hot sweaty public health office to get them. Glad it’s over (I’m sure she is too).
And wanted to hear what my voice sounded like you say? Oh no, I’ve always hated the way it sounds.
In the words of Samuel Jackson, “This some vitriolic s**t.”
Wow. DUDE! I never would’ve expected something like this from someone so lovely and porcelain and angelic in appearance as you.
Me likee.
I now know who to hit up for hexes!! Awesome.
And holy shit, did you say 5 vials of blood? Lost? I just passed out.
I couldn’t stop cracking up at “a hex upon thee”… so very Salem Witch Trials of you! Haha!
Thanks for the laugh!
Jane, Pinks & Blues Girls
wow! you are evil. I love it!!
Lisa,
I’m sorry to hear about your Quest experience. I spend a lot of time there being 29 weeks preggo and all. Which lab did you go to? My best experiences have been at the Clayton/Kerhs Mill location.
Michelle
omg lol this post was great. although it sucks that you got screwed over!!!! hannah starts kindergarten NEXT year! its pre k this year!
Not Kindergarten, but 2nd grade. It is a new school though so does that count??
I hope Quest figures you stuff out. I dealt with them all the time when I worked in a doctor’s office. They suck.
Has someone sent you over to Kerflop.com? Kindergarten’s nine kinds of crazy over there.
I had a blood test at nine month pregnant that came back that I was not pregnant, and I’m pretty sure it said I was a man too. Can I use your hexes too?
Boy do I love the new decor!
Curses on them for putting you through so much trouble, and for billing you for it too!
Dear little brother…. You didn’t realize that I have the power to edit your comments. Although I’ve never done it and probably will never do so again, I can’t resist erasing your comment and in its place telling the word how WONDERFUL your big sis is and how f*cking LUCKY you are to have ME in your life. Ahhahahahahahahha! Dorkwad!
Hey nerdgirl, I cannot believe you would treat your favorite little brother in such a hanious manor. For your knowledge that witty response was well thought out and took a butt load of time. The savy computer skills I maintain and my excellent typing ability are not exactly part of my redneck ways. In response you are a mean mommy (thanks Seth). ahahahahahahah! Your Lil bro Mr. Dorkwad P.S. Mrs. Dorkwad laugh her cute little ass off.
[…] while clogged toilets spew sewage all …. mean service people Suck! Love your new site :- xoxo …http://midwesternmommy.com/2007/08/12/291/The Arcane Archive - alt.paranormal.spells.hexes.magic FAQOccasionally, people with a dogmatic […]