And so she sleeps…
She’s dying. The doctors have told her there’s nothing more they can do. She’s endured cancer’s wrath and beat it twice. But this third time? The cancer came back angrier, more aggressive. She’s been given morphine to ease her pain. And so she sleeps. The priest has administered last rites. Loved ones visit to offer support and encouragement. But cancer will ultimately claim her body.
I hadn’t seen her in a few months. But when she showed up for our Wednesday night out, a week ago, I experienced a mix of emotions. I was so happy to see her. But yet alarmed. Her person was so altered. She had lost even more weight. She no longer stood tall and straight.
“Her kidneys are shutting down,” I was told.
I wanted to cry for her. But then I saw her smile. And I knew. She’s the same woman she’s always been. She’s weak but that smile? It is still the same beautiful smile that could inspire a poet to create his greatest masterpiece or embolden a knight to race into battle. Her eyes gave us a glimpse into her spirited and strong, yet gentle soul. She was so very altered, yet inside, still so much the same.
She needed help that night – walking, sitting. I don’t think she was comfortable the entire time we were out. Three of her dear friends sat at her sides – as if to form a shield of love and fierce protection. She listened mainly. But she smiled a lot.
Toward the end of her visit, the look in her eyes spoke what she would not. She is tired of fighting. She’s tired of being tired. She’s tired of feeling pain. Its all getting to be too much. But yet she continues to fight. Her body will fail before her spirit does. She is a mother. She is determined. And she wants so desperately to win this battle — for herself, family, and her friends. And we want so desperately for her to triumph as well.
I was at a loss for words that night, so I told her what was in my heart.
“I’m SO happy you came out tonight. I’ve missed seeing you.”
We talked about how I cut my hair. We talked about school starting. Even though she grew tired, she stayed. My heavy heart lightened as we laughed and listened to a dear friend sing karaoke. My sadness turned to gratitude. This night was her gift to us.
For those few hours, I’d like to think she was able to enjoy herself. I’d like to think she, somewhat, was able to forget about the monster that’s breathing down her neck. And to watch her laugh? To be in her presence and see her smile? It was the most precious gift of the summer. She showed us all — while cancer has ravaged her body, it can’t touch her soul.
****
On August 15, the world lost a tireless fighter, devoted wife, a spirited friend and loving mother. Sharon’s first battle with cancer came in college. She not only beat her cancer but went on to acquire a law degree, marry and have two daughters. A few years ago, she beat breast cancer a second time. After being cancer-free for a time, she was diagnosed with bone cancer. Even in the midst of mouth sores from chemo, hospitalizations and broken bones (from the cancer), she kept fighting. Even when doctors told her to get her affairs in order, she was undaunted.
****
What has been equally inspiring in Sharon’s story has been the way her closest friends enveloped her in support, cheer and prayer. They babysat. They formed a bible study. They took her to treatment. They made meals or sweets for the family and often just stopped by to visit. Even when strife entered their lives, these women dug deep within themselves. They were her ever-present cheerleaders. They are incredible women with beautiful souls — just like Sharon.
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And so she sleeps… — Bullshit Hoax News Source — November 9, 2007 @ 9:14 am
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By Cheryl, August 16, 2007 @ 5:11 pm
What a beautiful tribute. Thank you for sharing.
By Dana, August 16, 2007 @ 5:20 pm
Sorry to hear this. I hate cancer. Every single death in my family was the result of cancer. Every day I pray that they find a cure.
By Lizarita, August 16, 2007 @ 6:11 pm
So sorry for the loss of your friend. I have a girlfriend going through the same battle and I hope I never have to write an entry like this.
My thoughts are with you and her loved ones.
By Nancy, August 16, 2007 @ 6:15 pm
I’m so sorry to hear of your friend’s passing. It does sound like Sharon had amazing strength at the end — probably helped in great part by the love and support shown by her friends.
By Isabel, August 16, 2007 @ 7:05 pm
Lisa…sorry for your loss. This is a lovely tribute to your friend.
By flutter, August 16, 2007 @ 7:15 pm
Sleep well, beautiful lady. This was a gorgeous tribute.
By Her Bad Mother, August 16, 2007 @ 7:55 pm
A most beautiful tribute, a most moving elegy.
Hgus to you.
By Heather L., August 16, 2007 @ 8:10 pm
An eloquent testament to the power of a woman and the women around her.
My condolences and prayers go out to you and Sharon’s family. Sounds like the world has lost a beautiful soul and Heaven has gained a beautiful angel.
By Gabriella, August 16, 2007 @ 8:11 pm
I am so sorry. Life is hard sometimes and so hard to understand the why’s of it.
By Jacquie, August 16, 2007 @ 8:24 pm
Very nice tribute. I’m so sorry you had to write it, I’m glad you got to spend that evening with her.
Hugs to you and to Sharon’s loved ones.
Cancer is evil! It is everywhere and at the moment it really pisses me off!
I just did a post about this exact topic and one of my BFF’s who has just been dx. Feel free to take a peak at my vent.
By Rebecca, August 16, 2007 @ 9:21 pm
Lisa, your tribute brought tears to my eyes. What beautiful words for Sharon, for the other women. And I know how true they are, knowing two of you myself. May Sharon’s memory be eternal.
By slackermommy, August 16, 2007 @ 9:24 pm
I’m sorry, honey. We just talked about her. It’s so terribly sad. My heart goes out to her family.
I want to kick cancers ass. There is so much surrounding my life and those that I care about. It pisses me off.
By BOSSY, August 16, 2007 @ 10:57 pm
Bossy is so so sorry. She’s lost too many loved ones to that fecking disease. Unacceptable.
By Believer in Balance, August 16, 2007 @ 11:47 pm
You really honored her with this post. I’m sorry she’s gone.
By Liz, August 17, 2007 @ 12:06 am
Oh Lisa, I’m so sorry for your loss.
What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful woman from a beautiful friend.
By angela, August 17, 2007 @ 1:57 am
She seems like an amazing person. You wrote a very beautiful tribute — thanks for introducing us to someone this world will truly miss.
By Jazz, August 17, 2007 @ 2:25 am
What a beautiful way to remember your friend. I’m truly sorry for your loss.
By Alissa, August 17, 2007 @ 3:14 am
I am so sorry. She sounds like a wonderful person. This was a beautiful tribute. Her family and yours will be in my prayers.
By linlee, August 17, 2007 @ 4:25 am
Sounds like she was a wonderful person and friend. Sorry to hear of your loss.
By Melina, August 17, 2007 @ 4:26 am
Oh Lisa,
I’m so sorry for your loss, I just want to say I am thinking of you. Too many people lately, life is hard and this makes it even harder.
Know that you are loved and are thought about often.
Warm wishes, and long distance hugs.
By Liz, August 17, 2007 @ 11:20 am
Thank you for sharing this beautiful post - I am truly sorry for your loss and pray that your friend has finally found peace.
By Average Jane, August 17, 2007 @ 11:59 am
It sounds like she was very fortunate to have such a wonderful group of friends.
By Andrea, August 17, 2007 @ 1:06 pm
You have frozen her in time with this post, and shown the world her grace.
Rest in Peace and without pain, Sharon. Your story has touched us all.
Thanks, Lisa, for sharing this with us. I’m so sorry for your loss, the world’s loss, really.
By Amber, August 17, 2007 @ 1:17 pm
How beautifully written! It tugged at my heart as I think of those I love suffering with cancer. And how small moments are what really count the most.
By quinn, August 17, 2007 @ 10:07 pm
Beautiful. Thank you.
By Cece, August 17, 2007 @ 10:40 pm
Your post brought tears to my eyes. Four months ago, today, I lost my Grandmother to Cancer. Thank you for sharing.
By Mommy off the Record, August 18, 2007 @ 5:03 am
I’m so sorry for your loss. At least now she isn’t suffering anymore.
By Oh, The Joys, August 18, 2007 @ 6:17 pm
I’m so sorry friend. I know it’s hard.
By Carrie, August 18, 2007 @ 8:42 pm
I am so glad you had that night to bask in her glory.
My thoughts are with you.
By Sandra, August 18, 2007 @ 11:44 pm
Lisa, I am so very sorry for your loss. For the loss of all the people that Sharon touched. You wrote such a perfect tribute to her. Sending big hugs.
By Lisa, August 19, 2007 @ 3:11 pm
That was beautiful. I am so sorry.
By canape, August 20, 2007 @ 1:10 am
“My sadness turned to gratitude. This night was her gift to us.”
That is such a beautiful observation. I’m sorry that she is gone, and I’m glad that she had friends like you.
By Momish, August 20, 2007 @ 11:54 am
This was beautiful, truly. Heartbreaking and beautiful.
By Ruth Dynamite, August 20, 2007 @ 9:56 pm
Oh Lisa. I’m so sorry.
By Alex Elliot, August 21, 2007 @ 4:03 am
I’m so sorry about your friend.
By mk, August 21, 2007 @ 4:22 am
I am crying - that was absolutely beautiful. She sounds like she was a beautiful person and you were both better for knowing each other.
By MammaLoves, August 22, 2007 @ 8:52 pm
I am so sorry.
Your words are an incredibly beautiful tribute. Just from this one post, I know all I need to know to miss her too.