Dear 2005 Honda CRV,

Well, I’ve been driving you for three years now. And its been… Well… It was fun at first. But I’ve quickly grown tired of your not-so-smooth ride. I guess I shouldn’t have cheaped out awhile back and got the lowly 4-cylinder.  But I digress. You’re cute, peppy, have a fabby turning radius, and honestly? I think of you as a giant purse on wheels more so than a vehicle. We’ve logged many a mile together. And you’ve endured my “cat in heat meets scratching nails on a chalkboard” singing in a much happier manner than my son.

 But the thing of it is… I need something different. Its not me, its you. Your acceleration/gear switching is sort of jerky. And I feel every bump on the road. This isn’t so good when you have a child who gets car sick easily. I call you the “vomit comet” because the boy has barfed in you at least six times now. And that smell bakes right in every flippin’ pore of your interior during the warmer months. Oh and then there’s that chocolate milkshake my nephew spilled all over the place a few weeks ago too.

Bottom line? These days, I like you mainly because you are paid off. And you’re a pretty color. But I’ve been campaigning heavily for a new model. And it has been agreed. In about nine months, I am slated to get a different vehicle. I don’t really care what it is… As long as it doesn’t smell like puke/rotten chocolate milk and has leather seats. (Because scrapping melted tootsie rolls off of cloth seats and trying to clean puke out of material-covered crevices isn’t what I call “a rousing good time.”) 

But I have appreciated the fact that you don’t guzzle gasoline like a frat boy at a free kegger party. Especially when the pump prices get to $3.00 a gallon. Cause dude, that cuts into mama’s beer money. And I NEEDS me mah Wednesday night’s out with “The hot, wild, brew babes.”

Anyway… Being that I don’t know what I really want to get next (and have alot of time to research) I think I’ll “Ask Patty” and see what she and her wonder team think.

But consider this advanced notice. Cheer up. Odds are, your next owner will take MUCH better care of you than we have.

Sincerely,

Lisa Aka Midwestern Mommy

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