“Its not ME, its YOU — Honda CRV”
Dear 2005 Honda CRV,
Well, I’ve been driving you for three years now. And its been… Well… It was fun at first. But I’ve quickly grown tired of your not-so-smooth ride. I guess I shouldn’t have cheaped out awhile back and got the lowly 4-cylinder. But I digress. You’re cute, peppy, have a fabby turning radius, and honestly? I think of you as a giant purse on wheels more so than a vehicle. We’ve logged many a mile together. And you’ve endured my “cat in heat meets scratching nails on a chalkboard” singing in a much happier manner than my son.
But the thing of it is… I need something different. Its not me, its you. Your acceleration/gear switching is sort of jerky. And I feel every bump on the road. This isn’t so good when you have a child who gets car sick easily. I call you the “vomit comet” because the boy has barfed in you at least six times now. And that smell bakes right in every flippin’ pore of your interior during the warmer months. Oh and then there’s that chocolate milkshake my nephew spilled all over the place a few weeks ago too.
Bottom line? These days, I like you mainly because you are paid off. And you’re a pretty color. But I’ve been campaigning heavily for a new model. And it has been agreed. In about nine months, I am slated to get a different vehicle. I don’t really care what it is… As long as it doesn’t smell like puke/rotten chocolate milk and has leather seats. (Because scrapping melted tootsie rolls off of cloth seats and trying to clean puke out of material-covered crevices isn’t what I call “a rousing good time.”)
But I have appreciated the fact that you don’t guzzle gasoline like a frat boy at a free kegger party. Especially when the pump prices get to $3.00 a gallon. Cause dude, that cuts into mama’s beer money. And I NEEDS me mah Wednesday night’s out with “The hot, wild, brew babes.”
Anyway… Being that I don’t know what I really want to get next (and have alot of time to research) I think I’ll “Ask Patty” and see what she and her wonder team think.
But consider this advanced notice. Cheer up. Odds are, your next owner will take MUCH better care of you than we have.
Sincerely,
Lisa Aka Midwestern Mommy
To find out what others think of their vehicles (and include an essay of your own), go to the Parent Bloggers Network.
20 Comments
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By Heather L., August 24, 2007 @ 2:27 am
YOU KILL ME!!
By Rebekah, August 24, 2007 @ 12:17 pm
LOL, your post reminds me of a conversation I had with a car salesman once. In trying to describe what kind of car I “didnt” want, we came up with this anaology… I wanted a campbell soup can, not a pop can kind of car.
By jaelithe, August 24, 2007 @ 2:09 pm
Love our Pontiac Vibe (same engine as the Toyota Matrix). It gets good gas mileage and it’s great for hauling things since all the seats except the driver’s seat can fold completely flat. Although, I don’t know if the ride would be smooth enough for your little dude if he’s really sensitive– I have noticed I can feel the road a bit in the back seat. You should take him on test drives with you and ask him which car makes him least sick!
(So, uh, do you wanna borrow my steam cleaner for those seats? It DOES have a hand attachment . . . )
By slackermommy, August 24, 2007 @ 3:13 pm
That’s great! I’m sure your car is very thankful that you cleared that up.
By Alissa, August 24, 2007 @ 4:07 pm
Why in 9 months? Why not now? Driving a car you’re dissatisfied with sucks!
By Nap Queen, August 24, 2007 @ 4:17 pm
Good for you for having that thing paid off in 3 years! Wow, I’m seriously impressed.
By dana, August 24, 2007 @ 4:25 pm
I’ve had my Focus for almost five years now and I want a new car. Doug says I can’t have one. Too expensive. But we’re running out of room, too!
By Carrie, August 24, 2007 @ 5:53 pm
I think that the only reason I love my car is because it’s paid for too!
But what I wouldn’t give for leather seats (I’ve been told it’s only $1,000 to have them converted - all 3 rows!). Every mom with kids needs washable seats.
By becky, August 24, 2007 @ 5:53 pm
lol i like this one. and i can relate. my car is due to be turned back in in 9 mos and i can’t freakin wait lol. its been good to me but i’m so ready for a new one! can’t wait to see what you end up getting!
By Hulai, August 24, 2007 @ 9:20 pm
wow! that was super funny!
By Suebob, August 25, 2007 @ 4:15 am
I love my Honda Fit for the same reasons that Jaelithe loves her Vibe. It is about the same deal. No leather seats, though, and the ride isn’t suuuuper smooth. How about a nice Accord?
By Marci, August 25, 2007 @ 4:30 am
HAHAHAHA~ You are hilarious. I am moved in ways I’ve never been moved before
Your poor car!!! How is it going to take the news??
By Liz, August 25, 2007 @ 4:37 pm
Heeee!
Do you think your car will feel badly and automatically clean its act up and start acting all awesome now that you’ve threatened it?
I am SO OVER our little clown car. We got it brand spanking new in 2000 and I loved the zippy, benign-ness of it. It was Toyota Camry in a Chevy suit. Though it KICKS ARSE on mileage (technically, it’s a fuel-efficient vehicle according to NY state regulations!), but it is not safe for our family.
I’m going to have to write my own letter now, aren’t I?
By Alex Elliot, August 27, 2007 @ 12:37 am
I feel the same way about my Honda CRV except mine is 7 years old. Unfortunately or I should say fortunately, I can’t get past the fact that I don’t have car payments. I think that this Feb. though we might be saying goodbye to it.
By Andrea, August 27, 2007 @ 8:42 pm
The only car I’ve ever missed (and still do to this day) is my 2002 Chevy Impala. I traded it in alongside a truck for a honkin’ SUV that guzzled the gas, which we traded in for a less thirsty car.
I miss that Impala. It was smooth, comfortable, roomy enough for a family with kids and all the crap that has to be carted around and the trunk is enough for three dead bodies and room to spare. Um, not that I really know that. Except that one night, before the kiddo came along, as a party joke, my husband and two buddies decided to see how many bodies it would fit. Yes, they had to scrunch their legs up, but three grown men fit shoulder to shoulder. That’s a lot of groceries.
Just my two cents on the best car I’ve ever owned.
By BOSSY, August 28, 2007 @ 6:38 pm
Gasp - Bossy has a CRV that exhibits none of these things. Of course her’s is a 2001. Practically a relic.
By Daisy, August 29, 2007 @ 2:35 am
“Giant purse on wheels” — almost makes me miss my old Honda Civic Wagon. Almost.
By KC, September 6, 2007 @ 1:18 am
Hey! We have a CRV too- but it’s a gentler, older model that hasn’t seen the likes of vomit, pee, or poop. Any car that has precipitated that much vomit needs to get the old heave ho.