Midwestern Mommy

You know what’s really wild (and wonderful) in this here blogosphere? When you visit a new blogger, see she’s from St. Louis then see a photo of her son sitting on a retaining wall. And you have a strange, strong feeling she lives in your area of the county. So you ask her. And find out she lives five minutes away from you. And that you pass by her subdivision fairly regularly.

You know what’s also really wild? When you hear about the wife of a grade school classmate having IBC and you start thinking… Based on what little you know about this old classmate… Could his wife be the always amazing WhyMommy – a blogger you’ve admired from afar for a very long time? What are the odds? But you have this really strange, strong feeling that it could be her. So you take a risk and e-mail her. And then you find out that Yes! You went to kindergarten through eighth grade with WhyMommy’s husband! In fact, you even had a crush on him at some point. And the whole thing is really wild because there were maybe 11 girls and 13 boys in the entire class!

And then you realize…. WhyMommy’s in-laws were at your little brother’s wedding. You watched them polka. (They can do a mean polka.) And? Your little brother, through his marriage, is now RELATED to WhyMommy! Oh, and one of WhyMommy’s aunts? Was your first grade teacher. So cool!

Oh and another cool thing… Is Nina Garcia’s “Little Black Book of Style“. If you’re interested, read a review on behalf of Parent Bloggers Network.

Newsflash: Slackermommy’s birthday is today. Wish her a happy one, will ya! 

Dear Facebook,

When my mom first joined, she thought you were so cool and fun!  I was really happy for her. I was all, “Wow!”

But then I heard that you have deleted photos of moms breastfeeding because you think they are “lewd” and “indecent”. Yet you allow others to post photos of naked breasts. You also have no problem with the many, many pro-ana groups that are also on Facebook. And? I just found out you don’t ban pedophiles.

I’m not very happy about this.

Actually? No one at our house is.

So my friends and I have decided to get together.

And send you a message. We’re seriously considering kicking YOU out of our lives — if you don’t shape up soon. And if that ends up being the case….

Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

Sincerely,

A kid who was breastfed for the first seven months of his life — five years ago. (And his mom)

 P.S. Boob juice rules! And so does the League of Maternal Justice.

*During my freshman year of high school, I wanted very much to be on the school’s softball team. The morning of that first day of practice, I stuffed my mitt and clothes into my locker. But by the end of the day, I’d convinced myself that I’d never make the team. So I didn’t even attend the first practice.

*At 18, I wanted to go to Mizzou to study journalism. But I was too scared I wouldn’t be able to afford out-of-state tuition and living expenses. So I went to a college I wasn’t interested in because it was cheap and close to home.

*During that time, I landed a job where the boss made my life miserable. But instead of leaving, I endured the verbal jabs and soul-sucking games. I was miserable but too frightened to take a risk and change jobs.

*Since high school, I dreamed of becoming a television news reporter. But I knew the competition was fierce. I was too scared I’d be rejected — that I wasn’t talented, intelligent, or attractive enough. So I didn’t even attempt to ask about an internship.

*I’ve even stayed in long-term relationships that weren’t very happy or healthy purely because I was too scared no one else would want me. (I know! How pathetic! But I’m going somewhere with this. Promise!)

After graduating college, I got my first “big girl job”, then broke off an unhappy relationship. I was alone for the first time in four years and so terrified. I was navigating through an unfamiliar city and living in an apartment complex that contained more people than my entire high school. I was working for a company that employed more people than inhabited my hometown. For an insecure girl with a humble, working-class upbringing, the whole experience was overwhelming and scary. It took about a year of me working there to feel comfortable. But once I did, it was exhilarating, fulfilling and very enjoyable.

With that experience under my belt, I took a few more risks. One big risk didn’t pan out so well. And not only did it drain our marriage and finances, but it drained my feelings of confidence and competence.

Overall, I thought I’d left alot of that fear-driven, decision making behind me. But as I look at my life, I realize I’ve deluded myself. The painful, ugly truth is that I’ve been too scared of rejection and failure to seize opportunities. I’ve even censored myself in this blog. I haven’t written about some of the more painful, personal experiences because I worry about who will find what I’ve written. I worry I will shame my parents and siblings. I worry you all will form a negative impression of me. I am fearful of angering someone. But if I’m not “showing” you the real me, then you might as well be reading the words of a complete fraud. And that’s just a waste of everyone’s time, isn’t it? Plus? I’ve cheated myself out of what could have been some really great experiences all because I am a giant wussy who’s scared of almost everything but her own shadow.

I kept hoping that one day I’d awaken with courage and confidence. But I’ve come to realize that’s an absurd idea. The only way I will aquire courage and confidence is if I force myself to take more risks – in blogging and in life. I am 34 years old. I’ve wasted enough time cowering in a corner. Its time to “grow a pair.”

But the biggest motivation behind this is my son. I don’t want him to make the same mistakes I’ve made. I don’t want him to see his mother as a woman steeped in fear. Life is a gift. And a life lived in this sort of fear is a life squandered. It is potential that can never be reached. It is a bloom that will never open.

That’s not the kind of life I want to lead. And though I can’t change the past, I can change the present. There is a wealth of opportunity in this world that’s up for grabs. And instead of shuffling off with my head hung, I’m going to run full steam ahead.

Was the ever a time where you took a big risk and failed? How did you deal with it? Did it affect the way you saw yourself? Basically what did you learn from these experiences? Please share!

P.S. There’s a new show currently broadcasted on several PBS stations called The Zula Patrol. Its a super cute show. To find out why The Zula Patrol goes where no show has gone before, click here. (This is a PBN review.)

You bloggers are a fascinating lot, you know that? Especially the peeps blogging about life, loves, pursuits and insights. Sometimes I’m still thinking of someone or their story (or children’s story) days after they’ve posted. All in all, I am so very grateful to YOU –the bloggers who are willing to open up their lives and share their wisdom. You make me smile…. (And Rebekah, you made me smile too! THANKS.)

And thanks especially to these chicks:

Mamalogues– Dana is sassy and makes the best faces when she’s telling a story. And now she’s got her very own Saturday tv gig on a local station. Can’t wait to watch. 

Slackermommy– Kristie’s just as funny in person as she is in her blog. She’s just as sweet and compassionate too! And trust me, she has some serious aerobicizing skillz!

WhyMommy — is an inspiring woman. Even in just one post, you can sense her kindness, gentleness and strength. Methinks that’s exactly why she’s got so many people cheering her on.

A bun’s life- This lady new to the blogosphere. And the fact that she lives within minutes of Slackermommy and myself? Makes me smile. Hope to meet her soon!

Eva Las Vegas-  Kristin has recently changed her blog’s name to “Its all fun and games…” So glad she’s back from her annual summer vacay ’cause she wasn’t blogging and I was going through withdrawals!

Life’s Little Adventures - Alissa has an amazing eye. She’s a wonderful photographer. Take one look at her blog. Especially when she’s got photos of her boys posted… You can’t help but smile.

Mama Loves– This woman was a blast to hang out with at BlogHer. She’s fun. She’s sassy. And she has three boys. So she’s got some really funny stories.

Oh the Joys– Met Jess at BlogHer. And LOVE the fact that for her 40th birthday? Her hubby indulged her in one of her fantasies. You’ll have to visit her to see. But it involves a park ranger hat and uniform.

Scribbit– I stopped by Michelle’s blog awhile back because in her avatar photo, she looks exactly like one of my dearest friends. But I keep coming back because she’s got great stories and yummy recipes. Good food makes everyone smile, yes?

Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck Met Amber at BlogHer and have been coveting her gorgeous hair ever since. She has this amazing energy and infectious enthusiasm. If I could talk to Amber anytime I felt tired, I’d never need coffee.

 To these ten ladies — go forth and spread the smiles…

Saturday we did what most people do while at Target — we went in for two items but bought a bunch of crap we really don’t need and emerged an hour later $100 lighter. (And I STILL managed to forget one of the items I came for. So we did a rinse and repeat on Sunday. Oy! My aching credit card!)

The stand-out purchase on Saturday? A box of boogers.

Yes, that’s right. We ambled past the Halloween section. Seth (aka “the enabler”) insisted that looking for a costume was as crucial for his survival as breathing and Cheez-Its. (He wants to be a knight — this week anyway. Still need to find a queen costume for the dog. Cause how freaking funny would THAT be?)  And of course, we stumbled onto this smallish, gouhly-green box.

 I asked Seth, “do you know what this is?” Of course he said, “No.” We sounded out the words until he figured it out.

“So… Do you want a box of boogers,” I asked. A woman next to us laughed out loud.

“No,” was Seth’s stunned reply.

“Ok,” I said. We started leaving. And then he freaked out.

“I WANT THE BOX OF BOOGERS!”

I think the whole store heard that one. We bought them.

Some are green. Some are yellow. I admit, I ate a booger. Not bad. Tangy even. Highly recommend the “Snotermellon.”

And speaking of stuff you can find at Target, what about all of the products you DO need? See that little button on sidebar for Vocalpoint? Vocalpoint is a new website where you can get FREE samples as well as coupons for various products. You can also go to the site to pick up all sorts of cool tips, share stories and weigh in on a myriad of topics. And did I mention if you sign up you can get FREE samples on all kinds of cool stuff you use everyday? How awesome is THAT!?! Click on the Vocalpoint button on the sidebar and take a gander… Or sign up here!

  Abbey-dog is my favorite walking/running companion. We’ve logged many a mile together over the years over all sorts of Illinois/Missouri terrain. But I have to admit that I’m not as consistent as Abbeydog would like me to be. There are those times when life gets busy. And then there are those times where you decided to go out for a 5-miler and come home with blisters on your feet — blisters that take about 5 days to heal. And that really cramps poor Abbeydog’s style. (Cause she be workin’ on her fitness, yo!) And its not fun for her two-legged fitness partner either!

So when the opportunity (via Parent Bloggers Network) to review some cool Ryka sneaks arrived? Abbeydog wasn’t the only one doing happy waggily dances…

 To find out more about this wonder shoe, visit Midwestern Mommy Reviews! Oh and did I mention the part where Ryka’s giving away 50 shoes a day through the month of October. (A direct link can be found here.)

The template I love, love, LOVE has gone all spastic on me. I have NO CLUE what happened so I’m trying to find other templates that would work and tailor the sidebars. Ain’t working so well, so you may have to deal with ugly chaos for a few days until I figure out what to do. Bah! Am irritated. Sorry. Will fix as soon as I can.  

Today I volunteered in Seth’s kindergarten class. I was eager to see how he fared in his new environment and meet his new friends. And I couldn’t wait to speak with his teacher. His school was built not more than 15 years ago and has a very cheerful decor — both inside and outside. The school has mostly open classrooms. When I saw the open classroom during the “meet your kindergarten teacher” day, I didn’t really think anything of it.

But today, in Seth’s classroom, I got to witness what such a layout creates. And it creates? Bunches of distraction.  The teacher’s biggest gripe about Seth has been his lack of focus. In fact, I’ve already gotten one call and this past week, a note. I had been irritated with the boy until today. Today, I understood.

There’s no way I could learn or focus with so much noise and activity from other classrooms.  (The kindergarten shares space with the first grade, so there are several sets of kids in one area.) In fact, it was sort of overwhelming. If I feel that way in the midst of that environment, how can I expect HIM to give his teacher his undivided attention?

At one point, I was helping a group of kids work on a project in the shared multipurpose room. Another volunteer from a different classroom was helping her group of kids. They were making bird houses ten feet from our table. They were using hammers most of the time. Seriously! WTF? I had a difficult time hearing the kids I was working with and they had a hard time hearing me. They couldn’t concentrate on their work. And after 10 minutes of incessant banging, I was ready to stick those hammers where the sun don’t shine. Plus, you’ve got at least one kid every few minutes walking through the open area go to the bathroom or wash hands.

And what about germs? It seems so unsanitary. Hey, why don’t we just have the kids take turns licking the same handrail? And why don’t we all scream mathematical equations at them while doing so. Who KNOWS what bit of wisdom they’ll glean from THAT experience.

Our school is not quite 15 years old, and we’re in a fairly affluent school district. So I have to wonder what fools decided this sort of layout was a good idea. And WHY? And what about kids who have ADD or have sensory issues. Many of them have a tough time with these types of distractions? Plus? How do the kids stay healthy while trying to learn new skills? (I can tell them right now that my child is going to miss alot of school due to stomach viruses — especially since their sick policy is far too lenient. Kids can come back to school if they haven’t vomited in 12 hours. And they can have a fever if its less than 100 degrees. Again, WTF!)

So my question to ya’ll is, do you have any experience with open classrooms and this kind of sick kid policy? And if so, what do you think of them? And can anyone tell me WHY these types of classrooms are still around. (I’m ready to buy 30 tons of drywall and git ‘er done myself!)

I would like to see the principle and superintendent do THEIR work in the middle of such a classroom — especially when surrounded by a group of children who are barely over a stomache virus.

But Seth LOVES, LOVES, LOVES his school. And I want to send him to public school — at least for his first eight years. But I’m left wondering if there will be a change in school “scenery” for Seth soon. I’m hoping that today was just a ”busier” day than usual. I guess need few more volunteer sessions to gauge the levels of noise and general chaos. But I’d LOVE to hear your input.

The Nap Warden and Hollow Squirrel recently gifted me with the “Nice Matters Award”. (Which, “awwwww.” Warm fuzzies all weekend!) And in turn, she’s inspired me to spread the love too! So naturally these supersweet chickas came to mind: Little Miss Sassy, Hola Isabel, Stollen Moments, The House of H, Virtual Sprite, The Dana Files, Believer in Balance, and Its All For the Best. Ladies? Go forth and spread the nice.

Someone else awarded me this wondrous button awhile back but I can’t seem to find the link in my incoming links list. So the other person who bestowed the honor a few weeks back needs to remind me so I can thank them. Pretty please!)

Oh and sorry I’m not very timely about doing the memes and singling out people for awards. Its nothin’ personal. I’m just plain lazy. And I don’t have the energy to think. Seriously. NO energy.

Oh and guess what? Reviewed a Kajeet phone recently. If you’ve got a kid in the 9-14 age range and you are totally stumped when it comes to gift giving ideas? This is a great idea. (Plus, you can always give refill minute cards for gift-giving holidays afterwards. See? You’re set giftwise for a few YEARS this way!) And customer service is friendly and helpful. Interested? Click here!

This morning as the hubby was leaving for work, Seth, Abbeydog and I followed him out, waving our goodbyes. While on the front porch, we noticed bunko babe/neighbor/friend Jess pushing a stroller with her two-year-old son at her side. 

We waved and she came over to visit a bit. Her son, Caleb, climbed up onto our porch to pet Abbeydog.  He was SO excited to see her! His face was ablaze with happiness. He was enthusiastically talking and pointing. And he was petting her much more lovingly than Seth ever does. It was a sight that would melt the blackest of tarry hearts. Norman Rockwell couldn’t have created a sweeter scene.

That is, until Abbey turned her body a bit to reveal her back end. Adorable little Caleb noticed that dark circle under the root of her tail. (You know where this is going, don’t you?) In true toddler form, he decided to um… check out it out. Using… what else? His fingers.

Well, I don’t think dogs worry much about alien probes. But if they’re smart, they’d be more discerning about inquisitive two-year-olds.

Upon seeing two of Caleb’s little fingers “poke around” for a second, I told Jess. I washed his hands while she stayed outside with the other kiddos. He screamed the entire time. He was upset that I whisked him away from the dog, scared that he could no longer see his mom and indignant about me washing his hands. (That kid’s going to be 16 someday and he won’t understand why he’s so leery of me.)

Abbey hardly reacted. I’m largely relieved. But I have to admit that I’m also a bit alarmed too. I can’t help but wonder –did Seth, as a two-year-old, desensitize her to this sort of thing? And if he did, how on earth does he still have all ten fingers?

Its probably a good thing Abbeydog can’t talk. But if she could, she’d no doubt, be able to commiserate with those getting colonoscopies. Or gyno exams.

Have you ever read The State of Discontent? If not, you should. Jaelithe is a talented, thoughtful, eloquent writer.

 She’s also a mom. And in this post she really struck a nerve with me. That’s because she talks of her “previous life” and her accomplishments. Seems we become mothers and to the little people we care for? To them, we appear in single dimension — we cook, clean and care. But as they grow and change, do they see us for the PEOPLE we are? The people we used be? And when those little people don’t require as much care and we start gain a semblance of independence, how do we, as mothers, get a bit of our old self back? How do we mesh this former identity with the way we see ourselves now? How do we balance the pursuit of dreams we had prior to motherhood with our parental responsibilities. How do we balance parenthood with the pursuit of the new dreams we acquire along the way?

 Jaelithe asks these questions. They are profound, healthy questions with no easy answer. I think we all struggle with this issue – especially women who had demanding careers before becoming stay-at-home moms. And that’s why I’ve chosen her a Perfect Post award.

I have no doubt, Jaelithe will unearth quite a few revelations. I just hope she’ll blog about her journey as it unfolds.

Jaelithe is one of several Perfect Post winners. For a full list go to sponsors www.suburbanturmoil.blogspot.com and www.petroville.com.  

Remember this contest?

Well the winners are…. Here!

Congrats and I’ll be e-mailing you both soon.

Happy weekend everyone!