Midwestern Mommy » Flutter by

Flutter by

Posted on October 1, 2007
Filed Under awards |

“At my heaviest I was over 300 pounds. I did it on purpose, by design”…

“People tried to break through and I made them sorry. I wanted some people to break through and all they saw was the girl who would “be so pretty if”. Brick and mortar. Taller and taller and thicker it grew until there was nothing left of spirit. It was all covered in sugar and cholesterol until I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t walk.”

In mid-September, Flutter wrote this post which contains the words just quoted. Her words are powerful, painfully honest, and profound. And I’ve awarded her a Perfect Post for that reason.

There are so many women – amazing women — that struggle with their weight and their relationship with food. To so many people, food isn’t merely fuel, it is comfort and security. Sometimes binging, purging, starving, (or abusing diet pills) is a way to deal with stress or heartbreak. Sometimes its a way to exert control or feel disciplined.

I can relate. Before becoming a mother, I took (alot of) diet pills as a means of staying thin. And for me, being a certain size was my way of feeling disciplined and worthwhile. I stopped weeks before getting pregnant. Without the diet pills to keep my appetite at bay and the hours of strenuous exercise, I ended up gaining 60 pounds (yes 60) during my pregnancy. Food, at that point, became comfort. Binging was a way of dealing with stress. It wasn’t until I got to the blogosphere that I realized I wasn’t alone. So many women, no matter what size they were or currently are, have struggled with the same kinds of painful issues.

Flutter is making great strides in her life right now. And being honest with herself in this regard plays a large part in that. There are many of us cheering her on.

Christine is one of several Perfect Post winners. For a full list go to sponsors www.suburbanturmoil.blogspot.com and www.petroville.com.

While I can only choose one post on which to bestow a Perfect Post, I did want to mention a post that the amazing Mamma Loves wrote on this subject recently. I loved it as well.

Comments

11 Responses to “Flutter by”

MammaLoves on October 1st, 2007 3:48 am

Thank you so much for even suggesting my words in the same breath as those incredible words of Flutter. And thanks for admitting that you too understand.

Every time you post I love you even more. You are a brave and beautiful person right down to your soul.
flutter on October 1st, 2007 4:07 am

Thank you. For this award, for being with me through all of this, for your honesty. Thank yo so much, you have humbled me, completely.
rebekah on October 1st, 2007 11:28 am

being in bloggy world has brought me comfort, too, realizing that I am not alone in some of my emotional turmoils. I feel the same way as you, “being a certain size is my way of feeling disciplined and worthwhile.” The older I get though, the more I just want to be healthy for my kids. They see me eat right and exercise… they even try to join me in my exercise some days. Those days are fun
Alissa on October 1st, 2007 12:03 pm

What an amazing post…thank you for bringing this to my attention.
Andrea on October 1st, 2007 3:41 pm

Since I have had bulimic urges in the past (thankfully had the willpower to refrain) I get this on so many levels. In fact, this past spring, when I attempted a vegan diet (only given up for the duration of my pregnancy since I didn’t want to jeopardize the baby with my ineptitude for calculating protein requirements on such a new-to-me diet) I experienced some crazy things, not the least of which was a bit of hostility on the part of my family because I was bucking the norm, which tested boundaries of a family surrounded by comfort foods for nearly every occasion.

Hopping over to read Flutter’s post, and to possibly blogroll her.
Rebecca on October 1st, 2007 8:31 pm

Lisa, you’re the best. You’re so supportive and nonjudgemental and understanding. I second the above: every time I read your site, I love you more.

Also– J’s son got sick, and so we had to cancel. . . bummer
mk on October 2nd, 2007 2:08 am

That was very touching and very relatable to me. I don;t have teh same situations, but I have also battled with weight and issues around it in my life. It is always heart warming to know there are others and there is a safe place to talk about it.

I am sorry that I have been MIA still. I have missed you, but my butt has been beat between being pg and keeping up with Abbie and work. I am trying to get back to my normal friends I miss so much!
Kristi B. on October 2nd, 2007 4:27 am

What an awesome post. I too will head over to Flutter’s blog to read more.
As a mother of two girls, I am hoping and praying that times are changing. I have no evidence to support that they are other than that there’s a lot of women like us who don’t want to pass our poor self images on to our children. We know, as Rebekah points out, that what matters is being healthy and exercising and modeling that for our children. I just hope we (collectively, our generation of women) pull it off and influence our children positively. It’s such a challenge though, it really is. Sigh.
Sandra on October 2nd, 2007 10:30 am

So deserving. Thanks for pointing me to that incredibly perfect post.
BOSSY on October 2nd, 2007 10:19 pm

Spreading the love, spreading the love…
slackermommy on October 3rd, 2007 4:57 pm

This is why I love you so, sistah!