Save me from the skinks!
Our last house was haunted by a most evil creature my husband calls a “barking skink”. Apparently it loved Marc alot because to my dismay, it “followed” him when we moved two years ago to our current abode.
This invisible creature lurks around expelling the most noxious of odors and sounds. I often wonder if I’m breathing some sort of poisonous gas. The skink, which requires no food or care, sleeps during the day. It chooses to make its presence known only when Marc is at home. Sometimes, when the skink is feeling cheeky, it can stink up an entire room. The loud “bark” is your only warning for what will quickly follow.
When my husband retires for the night the skink follows, nestling itself under the blankets. As my husband drifts off to sleep the skink seems to come alive. Sometimes its’ loud barking sounds awaken me. When I am overwhelmed by the fumes, I loudly curse the skink and relocate to another bedroom.
It doesn’t follow Marc out in public. But it does like to hide in his suitcase. While vacationing I have often realized, with a resigned sigh, that the skink has followed us, like an uninvited stowaway.
I think the skink must have had a baby that bonded with Seth — he seems to have a small “barking skink” of his own.
P.S. My husband claims the fumes and sound do not come from him. He swears on his life it is the skink. You know, because he’s so suave and classy like that.
P.S.S. Oh and guess what? Mamma Loves nominated me for a Perfect Post recently. At first I was all, “Whu?” And then I was all, “Awwww.” And that post of hers I had mentioned? She won a Perfect Post for that! YIPPEE.
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By flutter, October 3, 2007 @ 7:31 pm
LOL!!! Oh that is funny, sounds like you need an exterminator
By Tamberlyn, October 3, 2007 @ 8:14 pm
Oh yes, our golden retriever takes ALL the blame at our house….for the hubby, the boy, and maybe even for me every once in a great while. The girl takes full responsibility for hers.
By Keri, October 3, 2007 @ 8:57 pm
My husband blames the dog all the time too. I know this is gross, but I can definately tell the difference between the dog and my husband.
By mamatulip, October 3, 2007 @ 10:56 pm
I think this is the reason why my husband wants to get a dog so badly.
By Oh, The Joys, October 4, 2007 @ 12:09 am
My farts don’t stink either.
By canape, October 4, 2007 @ 1:22 am
My husband tells us his farts smell like begonias.
He lies.
By Raquel, October 4, 2007 @ 2:05 am
hil-freakin-larious
By Kristin, October 4, 2007 @ 2:43 am
Why do you think Hugh is ok with our having 4 dogs?
By Suburban Oblivion, October 4, 2007 @ 11:20 am
Too funny!!!!
By FunnyGal KAT, October 4, 2007 @ 12:47 pm
What is it with men and farting?!? I have to put up with the Pretend Husband giggling like a schoolgirl every time he lets one rip. It’s *almost* worse than the farting.
Around here, the man farts and me… why, those are just “unicorn kisses.” Somehow, I don’t think he’s buying it.
By Lisa, October 4, 2007 @ 11:52 pm
Hey, I think we have one or two of those beings at my house!!
By Pattie, October 4, 2007 @ 11:56 pm
Hmmm….I think our husbands would get along famously!!!
The other day, I walked into my daughter’s room, only to be greeted by a wall of filth so disgusting, I almost passed out. I guess my husband’s redeeming quality is he claims it as his own. If that were me emitting foulness, I’d be running in the other direction pointing fingers at others because, I am shallow like that *LOL*
By Carrie, October 5, 2007 @ 3:30 am
What is it about men and passing gas?
By Nap Warden, October 5, 2007 @ 11:50 pm
Just so you know women don’t “stink”, they pouff…I have some stinkers in my house as well;)
By Michelle at Scribbit, October 6, 2007 @ 5:19 am
Okay I read your title and instantly thought, “no, she’s not talking about REAL skinks is she?” Those things are nasty looking!
By angela, October 8, 2007 @ 12:57 am
Gotta love those men and their gas.
By Ree, October 26, 2007 @ 7:07 pm
I have to tell you, even though I’m late on this post, is that I was thinking of posting something very similar to this last night as I was laying there trying (trying!) to get to sleep.
Instead I wrote about the quizzes.
You, however, get the prize. This is so true.