Dogged Advice from Dear Abbey
*Sorry the page was taking so long to load. Tis’ fixed. Thank you to this lovely lady and this lovely lady for letting me know.
Abbeydog has decided to take a break from her busy schedule of being antagonized by “the boy”, laying on the couch and chasing squirrels in the backyard. In her almost 9 years on this earth, she’s learned lots. And she’d like to pass her wisdom along to others. So if you are in need of beauty, fashion, love, relationship or etiquette advice, leave a comment. She’ll get back to you later.
Dear Abbey,
I have tried EVERYTHING I can think of to lose weight. I eat right. I exercise. But still those stubborn extra pounds remain. Help!
– S. in St. Louis
Dear S.
I feel your pain. I gained a few pounds after the family and I moved to this new ‘hood. But I have to tell you, the only time I lose weight is when I stop eating people food. Seriously. When the fam stops sharing the leftovers, I am forced to eat that nasty crap they call kibble. Do you KNOW how that’s stuff is made? Blech. Just one sniff is enough to keep my munchies at bay. The only time I eat it is if I’m positively starving. It definitely prevents me from snacking in-between meals. Maybe substituting your people food with kibble will shrink your bits, if ya know what I mean.
Love and cold puppy noses,
Abbey.
Dear Abbey,
I met this guy who works at Starbucks. I come in for coffee each day just so I can talk to him. He seems to like me. But he still hasn’t asked me out on a date. And since I’m 18 and Starbucks is expensive, I’m running out of money. What can I do to get him to ask me out? Or at the very least get a free coffee?
– A in Illinois
Dear A,
This one is simple. Young male pups (whether they are of the canine or humane variety) sometimes fear rejection. The next time you talk to him, look at his tail. Is it tucked between his legs or wagging furiously? If he’s the shy type, you should let him know of your friendly interest by giving him a nice long butt sniffing. Course this might also be the way you get yourself that free coffee.
Love and cold puppy noses.
Abbey
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By Cheryl, November 3, 2007 @ 11:39 am
Very smart advice from a very smart dog.
By Zookeeper, November 3, 2007 @ 2:57 pm
You’re hilarious!
By dodo, November 3, 2007 @ 3:48 pm
Dear Abbey,
You’re my last hope. for the past seven months my humans have coo’d and swooned over my yellowy deliciousness. They have curled on my sofa with me, fed me delicious things, taken me for outings in the car, showed me off to all their friends. I live in doggy heaven. But all that changed today. They brought a puppy into my kitchen. it licked my bone toy. it stood in my water bowl. they picked is up and snuggled it and marvelled at it’s honeycomb glow. They laughed when it jumped up and bit my lip. It followed me into my garden. It snuffled my guinea pig. My life is over. Please help.
Rose
By Mrs. G., November 3, 2007 @ 9:53 pm
You know I know you meant this is funny, and it definitely is, but it’s actually a clever idea for the right periodical…think on it. As always, a delight to swing by.
By Shelagh, November 3, 2007 @ 9:55 pm
Hi Lisa
Thanks for your comment at CatCalls13 .
re migraines , I use sumatriptan ( Immigran ) which sometimes works really well . Sometimes , when it doesnt work , or I get so bad I cant stop being sick so nothing stays down , then the emergency docs who come out will give me a combination of volterol injection and stemetil injection , quite a big dose. That knocks me out for a day or so , but the volterol relaxes all the muscles and seems to relieve the headache . It used to work really well for me in hospital too when nothing else would .
Are you a sufferer ?
By debra, November 3, 2007 @ 11:40 pm
Why is it every single time I read your posts I wish you lived right next door? I think you’re just hilarious!
The next time I make it to the St Louis area, I am definitely going to send you a note and try to have lunch or something!
By BOSSY, November 4, 2007 @ 3:43 pm
Dear Abbey, why are you so cute?
By Amber, November 4, 2007 @ 5:19 pm
You are too cute. Oh wait. Your dog is.
Too fun about Denver! We will actually be around this year (we alternate Christmases in Canada). My hubby’s family will be in town so things will be busy but if schedules permit, I’d love to hook up. Just keep me updated on your plans!
By Heidi, November 4, 2007 @ 9:39 pm
Dear Abbey,
You are such a wise dog. Please tell me - why does Lisa’s site load so slowly? And what can I do about it?
Thanks!
Heidi
PS; Thanks for the weight loss info. Very useful.
By Pendullum, November 5, 2007 @ 3:08 pm
Smart dog… but somehow not smart enough not to be dressed as a princess sidekick to a jedi knight… Goodness, I just saw that pic and giggled at your poor dog’s expence…
By Alexandra, November 5, 2007 @ 5:21 pm
Loves it!
By Kellan, November 5, 2007 @ 6:22 pm
Very funny and such a cute post! See ya.
By christina_the_wench, November 5, 2007 @ 7:15 pm
Dear Abbey,
Is it ok to beat my teen daughters with a newspaper if they yelp too much?
Signed,
Tired of the bitches
By VirtualSprite, November 5, 2007 @ 10:03 pm
Very smart doggy you have there. Glad she is available to impart wisdom. I especially like the teenage dating advice. I will have to remember that for my kids.
By Queen of the Mayhem, November 5, 2007 @ 11:25 pm
Dear Abbey,
How many times should I spray my son with the water bottle when he behaves in an obnoxious fashion?
You are wise beyond your (dog) years!
By slackermommy, November 5, 2007 @ 11:49 pm
Girrrrrl, you crack me up!
By Just Seeking, November 6, 2007 @ 9:31 am
Dear Abbey,
I have two questions. First, why is Lisa’s site so slow to load? It is frustrating to say the least. I love to read her site. Her posts are hilarious. Yet, it takes so much time it’s like requiring me to have the patience of a veteran school teacher. It just doesn’t happen. So I avoid. I want to come and read. I do. But I can’t! I spend more than half of my precious blog-reading time just waiting for her site to load. Please help!
Second, what has happened to my people? They used to walk me every day, sometimes twice a day. Then they got a fence for the yard. At first, I was thrilled! I could run around outside all day and chase squirrels. It was the best. Then they bought me a doggie door. Again, I was ecstatic. No more begging to go outside. Then, they got lazy. I do all the right things. I get excited when they go anywhere near the leash. I wag my tail like crazy! but still, no walks. I think I’m going to have to start digging up the garden, but I don’t want to resort to that! what else can I do???
Love,
Jazz
By Heidi, November 6, 2007 @ 9:12 pm
Hi Lisa,
MUUUUCH better! It loaded very quickly now.
And hey, I’ve added you to my Google Reader, so I am checking in regularly
Heidi
By Just Seeking, November 6, 2007 @ 11:05 pm
Yes! It’s working!!! It loads in a much more “normal” fashion. Thank you!!
Now, if you could just come over and walk my dogs, I’d be forever grateful!
By Doodee, February 3, 2008 @ 12:06 pm
Thanks for sharing
By dobWoureorbig, February 7, 2008 @ 12:43 pm
I’d prefer reading in my native language, because my knowledge of your languange is no so well. But it was interesting! Look for some my links:
By Anastasia, February 6, 2009 @ 6:09 pm
I found your site on google and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work.
By esl english, October 28, 2009 @ 2:09 am
Dogged advise is always the wisest! Rgds.