The stranger next door
We had a bit of a scare on Monday.
After Seth and a few of the other neighborhood kids got off of the bus, I got to talking with another lady about her upcoming vacation. During this time, we noticed a strange young man ambling from house to house. He kept walking past various houses in a seriously creepy way. He even walked into a person’s open garages. He walked up to some kids playing a pick up game of basketball. Within a few minutes, the group had scattered, with each boy going into their respective homes.
We kept watching this young man. And he knew it. At one point, he walked past us and tried to talk. His words were so slurred we could barely understand him. His eyes were glassy and unfocused. He didn’t understand the questions we asked him. His pants were baggy. He kept his hands in his pockets and seemed to be playing with some sort of item inside them. (No, not pocket pool.) He walked away and went into the garage of another person’s home. At one point he came out. He asked us if he could use the bathroom at one of our houses. We looked at each other uneasily. We didn’t say a word. He walked about 30 feet away.
We talked a bit longer, keeping our eyes on this young man. But the other lady was eager to get back into her house because she knew her garage was open. The kids were reluctant to leave. Upon hearing us say we were going back into our homes, this man decided to follow me to mine. With a whining protesting child slowing us down, the young guy caught up with Seth and I within a few seconds. He was one step behind us within 10 feet of our porch. I ignored him. He followed us right to the front door. I let Seth and the dog inside. There was NO WAY I would let this guy in. I had no idea who he was and what substance he was on. I had no idea if he was violent or if he could turn violent in a flash. I had no idea if what he was carrying in those baggy pockets was could be used as a weapon.
“Can I help you?” I asked timidly but politely.
“Come on, let me in. I just want to see your bathroom,” he slurred.
I said, “No. I don’t think so. I don’t know you.”
“You know me,” he said. He leaned in, his face now closer to mine. The grin he threw me caused the hair on the back of my neck stand up. “You just don’t THINK you know. But you know me.”
“No,” I said firmly. “I don’t.” I turned around, opened the door a sliver, got in, shut it behind me very fast and locked the door. Then I ran to the back door. Then I double checked the car doors to ensure they were locked. This whole time, he stood there, looking through the large glass windows of our door. (To see the door click here. But this may load slowly.)
I called the police. At one point during the discussion, I saw this guy in the neighbor’s van, rifling around. He must have gotten bored because he soon went across the street and starting rifling through that neighbor’s car doors. That neighbor caught him in the act.
At this point, I called another neighbor — a freshman girl I knew to be home alone. I told her to lock her doors — this strange guy was on something and had been in her garage. She explained that this man was her brother’s friend. He had gotten kicked out of his house so her mom let him stay there a night. She went next door and led this guy back to her house. I told her I had called the police.
A police officer arrived. He handcuffed the guy and brought him around to several of us neighbors to identify.
Found out later from the neighbor that opened her house to him – she didn’t know the guy. He was a friend to one of her kids, so she let him stay. This neighbor is a very compassionate woman. It sucks that her generosity blew up in her face.
That night I couldn’t sleep. This guy knows it was me who called the police. And my husband was several states away on business. Was this guy already out of the police station? Was he pissed off? Would he come back that night to my neighborhood to get some revenge? Are my tires going to be slashed at some point? Is my little boy or dog going to get hurt because he thinks I’m a bitch who gave him a big ole legal hassle?
Nonetheless, something good came of it. When I close a door that leads outside (even the door to the garage), no matter what time of day, I immediately lock it. Its become this habbit that I don’t even realize I’m doing at the time. I lock my car as soon as I step out of it. Part of my evening ritual is locking the doors, rechecking, then re-locking each door no less than five times a night. I do it with the vehicles too. (Yeah, this could be mildly OCD-ish.) All of this door locking drives my husband crazy. And I know he rolls his eyes because I won’t let Seth go down to the cul-de-sac, a mere four houses away, by himself.
But on one sunny, unassuming day, some stranger did come into our happy little ‘hood and approached children. This stranger went into people’s garages and cars and turned life upside down for a number of people. Now I no longer have to apologize for locking the doors to the house or vehicles. And I don’t have to explain why this mama’s not ready to give her little boy the freedom he’s opining for. At least, not for a while.
36 Comments
Other Links to this Post
RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI
By Heidi, November 7, 2007 @ 7:50 am
That is spooky! I was getting scared just reading this. I am very bad at locking doors. My friends always nag me, but I just don’t want to. I don’t want to *have to*, is more the point. But an experience like yours makes me rethink it all.
What a shame that you had to experience that. And what a shame for the poor woman who thought she was helping someone out.
BTW, I hate to be the one telling you, but the site loaded very slowly again for me just now. Honestly, I think it is the ads. I’ve had this problem with a couple of other blogs, and they all have those ads in common. So it probably isn’t anything you’re doing.
My solution: Go make a cup of tea while it’s loading. That works for me
Heidi
By debra, November 7, 2007 @ 8:20 am
Ooh, how scary! I’m glad you and Seth were okay and I’m proud of you for phoning the police. Thank goodness this guy didn’t do anything to your neighbor while staying there. But I think if I were her, I might question my child’s choice in friends!
By Alissa, November 7, 2007 @ 12:52 pm
He probably won’t remember that it was you that called the police. One more high and everything will be new to him again.
I’ve been there. Nearly the exact situation, only I don’t have so many neighbors. It’s scary, I know. I’m glad you’re OK.
By rebekah, November 7, 2007 @ 1:38 pm
Wow, what a story. We live in a small quiet town on a fairly quiet street. I’ve been an emergency dispatcher for 13 years and I know that our town is pretty safe. But I also know that is only takes one creep, one brief moment to turn my families life upside down.
Keeping doors locked and eyes on our children is our job because you never know who/what is in the area.
By Zookeeper, November 7, 2007 @ 2:29 pm
How frightening for you. I hope you know you did the right thing. The old saying, “Better safe than sorry” is right on the money!
By dodo, November 7, 2007 @ 2:32 pm
i don’t blame you for not letting Seth go down the road alone. I don’t care who rolls their eyes at me - we don’t get a second chance to protect them.
By melissa, November 7, 2007 @ 4:22 pm
I have to say you did the right thing. Sepetmeber 1st my parents were visiting us in our new house, brand spaking new in a great neighborhood. We are so proud that we’ve been able to finally get a house and have room for visitors. Anyway mom got up to use the bathroom around 1:30 and walked in on a man standing in our living room. He had come in the window I’d left open because the weather was so nice, thankfully he was more scared of her than of us so he grabbed his bag of stuff and took off. I’ve never felt so unsafe in my life. My 3 year old daughters room was between that man and me. I know he wasn’t there for her, but it was all I could think about for a long time.
Now I am never too careful. If someone doesn’t look like they belong I call the police, they’ve told me it’s better to call 100 times for no reason than to miss that one time. What if someone had noticed the guy in my living room walking through the yards and actually called them.
By christina_the_wench, November 7, 2007 @ 4:37 pm
Man, you can never be too careful. It’s very sad the world we live in now.
By abunslife, November 7, 2007 @ 4:39 pm
My husband always says I am too paranoid and I always say he is too trusting. I don’t let the kids play outside unless I am out with them, even in the backyard, and I always have the front glass door locked, back door locked and the garage door closed if we are not out front playing. I lock the car doors even in the garage. That is so scary. I’m proud of you for staying so calm and collected and for having the guts to call the police! I think too many people wouldn’t have just for the same reasons that you are worried about, but it sounds like he was messed up enough that he won’t remember much anyway. That is just so freaking scary! My heart is pounding from just reading it.
On a happier note, if you all don’t have plans on Friday, (I noticed you guys were out of school too!) would you want to get together for a playdate?
By Farrell, November 7, 2007 @ 5:11 pm
WHOA!
By Ree, November 7, 2007 @ 6:53 pm
How scary for you and the neighborhood.
By Jacquie, November 7, 2007 @ 9:45 pm
Now I don’t feel so bad that I always have my doors locked. In this day and age you just never know do you?
By Mrs. G., November 7, 2007 @ 10:43 pm
Man, this is seriously freaky. I would have done the same thing.
By jaelithe, November 7, 2007 @ 10:46 pm
I’m sorry this freaky thing happened to you. I don’t think the kid will come after you for calling the cops, though– he risks losing his friendship with your neighbor’s son altogether if he makes more trouble in the neighborhood, and that friendship might be one of the few stable things in his life. Hopefully this incident will help him rethink his priorities.
But, if he DOES harass you again, I suggest yelling at him in The Mom Voice ™. You know– the voice you use when your son has done something so terrible that you want to make him BELIEVE you just might actually kill him, even though you have no intention of doing so?
I have actually used The Mom Voice twice before against creepy young doped-out dudes who were following me around, and in both cases, it caused them to slink off almost immediately while muttering an incoherent apology. The Mom Voice seems to trip some sort of circuit breaker in young doped-out brains.
By Kristin, November 8, 2007 @ 12:36 am
Scary stuff there… good for you to trust your instincts!!
By flutter, November 8, 2007 @ 1:31 am
I’m sorry that is petrifying. I don’t blame you for any of your actions.
By Liz, November 8, 2007 @ 2:29 am
YIKES!
And good for you for following your instincts and taking care of yourself and your family. And your neighborhood.
By AbsolutelyBananas, November 8, 2007 @ 6:35 am
OMG This totally freaks me out. I am SO glad it turned out ok. You’re right… we can never be too careful.
By Pendullum, November 8, 2007 @ 1:05 pm
Scary…
But I am glad you called the police…For that is what they are there fortoserveand to protect and where they did not put him in jail…There was a place for him… They are to sort it out… Never take unnessessary chances…
I had the same kind of thing…and seconds count…
The guy I had was disoriented and slurring, stumbling due to lack of insulin… Thank goodness I called as the police were able to get him the help he needed within minutes… And it would have meant life or death for him..
By Tuesday, November 8, 2007 @ 6:33 pm
That is so scary! I would ahve called the police too, I am so scared of people creaking in our home I keep the doors locked all the time and keep the alarm on.
By VirtualSprite, November 8, 2007 @ 7:22 pm
That is scary. We don’t live in a neighborhood - our closest neighbor is a half-mile away - but we still lock everything at night.
Good for you for calling the police, though. Even if it had turned out to be nothing, at least you know that someone was watching your back.
By abunslife, November 8, 2007 @ 7:38 pm
Glad you won’t be sitting around waiting for the bus tomorrow! Your house or mine? Or do you want to go somewhere? I’m not sure what the weather will be like…..we might be able to chat more if we are at one of our houses instead chasing kids down. (I still have to stay close to Olivia)
By Dana, November 8, 2007 @ 11:42 pm
This makes me upset for you. People are not like stray cats.
Kudos for keeping your cool and standing your ground. I once had a man hunt me down and come to my house after reading an op/ed I wrote for another publication. Ewan was barely a week old and Chris was not home. It was quite unnerving.
It’s been my experience that these guys don’t cause you trouble for turning them in. They thrive on the people who don’t.
By Sarah, November 8, 2007 @ 11:46 pm
That’s really creepy. I’m glad that you guys were alright and that he didn’t do anything to hurt you or come back angry that the police had brought him in or anything. Things like that could go so much worse and I am thankful that they didn’t. Good for you for calling the police; the man sounds like he was really unstable.
When I was a kid, my sisters and I walked home from school. One time, a really creepy man followed us home. To this day, people like that really freak me out. I am so glad things turned out well for you and I hope that you can relax soon - even if relaxing still means you keep all the doors locked.
By mk, November 9, 2007 @ 2:49 am
OMG! I would have been so scared! You did the right thing and I hope everything ends up ok!!! Hugs for being so brave!
By Just Seeking, November 9, 2007 @ 5:47 pm
What a scary story!
I love the Mom’s Voice idea!
And I am proud of you for calling the police.
My husband and I are quite fond of calling the police. We do it a bit too regularly. But hey, that’s what they are there for and yes, better safe than sorry.
Fortunately, we’ve never needed to call the police in the neighborhood we live in now. Thankfully! and we think we might be staying here.
But we’ve called the police countless times. Once, we watched a man beat on, literally pound his fists on the woman in the passenger’s seat of his truck. We called 911 and kept following him so that we could continually report his location to the police. A million times we’ve called the police on people who have kids in the car without carseats or seatbelts. Once I called when a woman left her kids in the car while she went into the store. I have no idea how long the kids were left alone, but I sat there for 20 minutes waiting for the police to come and she never appeared. Another time, we watched from our apartment window as a man beat his girlfriend in the street. We called, the police came, and unfortunately, the girlfriend turned them away. The boyfriend rejoined her and he continued to beat on her. We called again. I could go on an on! we are FOND, I tell you, of calling the police.
Good for you!
p.s. your site is loading slowly for me again too. I also do the “click on the site and then walk away and get tea” only I don’t get tea. I wish I could be as healthy as Heidi. Today, for example, I clicked, waited a bit, realized it’d be awhile, so I went and heated up a peice of leftover pizza. Sigh.
By Lisa, November 9, 2007 @ 9:53 pm
How scary!! Glad you are all ok!!
By Alex Elliot, November 10, 2007 @ 5:21 am
I’m glad that everyone is okay! That is so scary! I was getting goosebumps just reading it. I always lock doors.
By Foggy City Mommy, November 10, 2007 @ 6:02 pm
holy shit. you go girl. I am so proud of you.
I wish I could do something with the psycho next door like that but damn rent control….
By Christina, November 11, 2007 @ 11:43 pm
So scary! Hopefully that guy was so high that he doesn’t remember anything.
I’m neurotic about locking doors, and I also check and re-check our doors before bed.
By Carrie, November 12, 2007 @ 4:48 pm
That is horrifying! I am glad you are all okay!
By slackermommy, November 12, 2007 @ 7:48 pm
Dang, girl! I would have been the same way. Gotta love these wake-up calls for us to be more diligent with personal safety.
By Rusti, November 12, 2007 @ 8:49 pm
That is way creepy! I think I’d have been inside and holding on to my pistol until I knew he went away… yikes! Good for you for holding your ground and for being on top of things (making a habit of locking the doors, etc.) Good for you too being brave enough to call the police, you never know what he might have done if they hadn’t come to get him. I hope that this is the end of it and you don’t see/hear of him again.
By Liz, November 13, 2007 @ 3:27 pm
I swear, this sort of stuff just scares me to death - we live on a busy street and I STILL don’t even know half my neighbors - my husband wonders why I insist on locking the car and house doors. I guess my urban upbringing is showing. Good on you for checking in with your neighbors.
By Sugared Harpy, November 13, 2007 @ 8:18 pm
That is so scary. I barely know any of my neighbors and I certainly don’t have their phone numbers. You’ve definitely given me a lot to think about with that one. I’m so happy you are all safe and well.
By Ruth Dynamite, November 16, 2007 @ 11:42 pm
This story makes me shudder.