We returned home last night tired but happy. Our trip to Louisiana to visit the hubby’s maternal and paternal sides of the family was a whirlwind of food, laughter, hugs, and car rides. T’was fun to see people we haven’t seen in years. Plus? Seth and I met some of Marc’s cousins for the first time. (Hi Cindy! Hi Ashley!)

I was going to gush about how great both sides of Marc’s family are. And seriously? They are! But I scraped it because the aforementioned Cindy and Ashley (as well as Marc’s aunt Marsha) gave me something this weekend that’s been sorely needed. And they don’t even realize it.

Cindy is the proud mother of a darling little girl. (She rejoined the ranks of full time working women this past Monday!) Ashley is the proud mom of an adorable little man named James. Ron (Marc’s uncle) and Marsha, (Marc’s aunt), are the proud parents of Carly, who’s finishing up college and looking at law schools. No other children are mentioned because like me, they each have just one child. It was fulfilling to talk to three women who are are varying stages of mothering their only children. More often than not, if I’m with a group of women, I’m the only mom with one child.

Shortly after Seth’s birth, I started getting the “So when are you going to have another child” inquiry. For the first 30 months of his life, when asked, I told people I didn’t know if I’d have another child. I felt so overwhelmed with all of his needs. I often got a quick, “You shouldn’t think that way! You’re going to regret having only one child when he’s grown. Besides, he NEEDS a sibling!”

This made me feel like shit. So when Seth got older and grew more independent, we began trying to conceive another child.  This hasn’t worked, obviously.

We’re no longer actively trying or planning to add to our family. (Some of the reasons “why” are unbloggable, sorry.)  It isn’t as if we’ve decided that we will absolutely never, ever add to our family. It may happen naturally or through adoption. But it may not. For now? Our little family of three feels complete. Seth may not have siblings, but he has cousins and lots of friends. There is no shortage of love, attention, or fun in his life.

But unfortunately others don’t “feel” the same way. And sometimes they can be rather vocal about it. (Typically these people have been ones who hardly know me or even strangers.) So at times there are comments about how Seth needs a sibling so he doesn’t turn into a spoiled brat. There have even been a few times a talker has hinted at my “selfishness” to stop at one child because, “when you are old, the burden of taking care of you will be on HIM.” Of course there have also been comments that insinuate my stopping at one means I value our disposable income and free time far too much.

Fortunately I don’t get those comments often. But I admit, they do send me into a panic to where I seriously question this decision for weeks. Because like all moms, I want to give my child my everything. I want to do right by him.

So this weekend, while hanging out with Cindy, Marsha, and Ashley, I saw how happy and satisfied they are with being moms to their only children. I witnessed the close bonds each mom shares with her child. I saw how these “only” children are like Seth in that they aren’t “lonely” children at all.

Cindy, Marsha, and Ashley? You helped me to toss aside some of the guilt and worry that’s eaten away at me over the years. If years from now, we become a family of four (or more), we’ll rejoice. But if that doesn’t happen, I know I will still be happy. And Seth will be too. 

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