To be 20 again… (no thanks)
Dear Danielle,
Last night we e-mailed each other and did a bit of catching up. It was so fun! You mentioned that you a mere five months from turning 21. You’re counting down the days. I had to laugh as nostalgia washed over me.
As of midnight, I turned 35.
Seems so freaking old, right? I know! I thought the same thing at 20. (I’m now considered to be of “advanced maternal age.” That made me laugh out loud just typing it!)
I know what’s ahead of you… What you’ll experience in your 20’s. I envy you all of the adventures you’ll have. You’ll finish college. You’ll embark on a career. You will travel. You will meet tons of new people. You are going to have SO much fun along the way. You may even get married and start a family.
But honestly? I’d rather be 35. I may be about 15 pounds heavier than I was at 21, (Ok. So maybe more like 20.) but I feel so much more comfortable in my skin. The perspective you earn as the years pass is such an amazing gift. Things that seemed like the end of the world at 21 or 23 don’t seem like such a hurdle now. Most of the chicks I know that are well into their 30’s? Know what they want and need. And they aren’t scared to ask for it. They have “balls.” And that’s a good thing.
You are gorgeous, smart, and have an amazing figure. But I don’t envy you the angst that comes with being in one’s 20’s — of not knowing what you are truly capable of. Of not fully knowing yourself.
But with each passing day, you will learn. You will laugh, cry, be amazed and ponder many things. We all do those things. But life just seems more vivid and emotionally vulnerable during that decade. You don’t know how strong you are until you’ve been through some, well… shit. Just remember that it will pass. You will emerge stronger, wiser, and ultimately more self-assured. Please keep your eyes, ears and heart open. What you learn will greatly influence your actions down the road.
I wish you well, dear cousin. And I hope you keep me updated every step of the way. I’ll be cheering for you.
Love,
Lisa
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By Alissa, November 29, 2007 @ 8:05 pm
Happy Birthday!
Never again would I want to be 20. No way. Nor would I want to go back to high school–even though once I thought it was “the best time of my life”. No.
33 is fine with me, thank you very much.
By Heidi, November 29, 2007 @ 8:26 pm
So true…and a lovely letter to your cousin!
Heidi
By Elizabeth, November 29, 2007 @ 8:38 pm
Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Biiiirthday Midwestern Mommy!
Happy Birthday to you!
Ah, to be 35 again
Hope you have a great day!
By Alexandra, November 29, 2007 @ 8:58 pm
Awesome! I’m 33… I remember being in my 20s and thinking people in their late 30s/early 40s were ancient! Some of my best friends are there, and I’m not far behind!
By Ree, November 29, 2007 @ 9:20 pm
Happy Birthday Lisa baby!
And great advice to young women everywhere.
By Dana, November 29, 2007 @ 11:31 pm
What a sweet letter!
I don’t know if I miss being 21….or 20….o 19. Hehe.
By debra, November 30, 2007 @ 1:31 am
Happy birthday, lady! I didn’t know we shared a birthday month! Very cool.
The only way I would go back to being 20…nah, no thanks. Forty-three is pretty terrific.
P.S. I missed you while you were gone over the holiday. Glad you’re back safe and sound!
By Jerseygirl89, November 30, 2007 @ 4:22 am
Happy Birthday! Great letter. I’m 36 and all I’d like is my 21 year old body. I’ll even keep my wrinkles. But I would never, ever give up who I am now, that’s for sure.
By Kristin, November 30, 2007 @ 5:23 am
Happy Birthday, hot stuff! Like you, I would no more revisit my twenties than pull my eyelashes out… there are so many changes over that decade that it’s a wonder we’re not worn out by 30. At 20 I couldn’t have a (legal) drink, was still in college and was dating some loser with great hair and living in a rental apartment on the Balboa Penninsula… at 30 I was married with 2 kids, a homeowner, and up to my eyeballs in responsibility… now, in my late thirties, I think I am starting to find some rhythm to my life!
By slackermommy, November 30, 2007 @ 6:02 am
Happy Birthday, girl! I’m with you, I don’t want to go back. I may have had a great figure and skin but I was an emotional mess in my twenties. The only way I would go back is if I could go with what I know now. In a perfect world. *sigh*
By Michelle at Scribbit, November 30, 2007 @ 7:51 am
I agree–I wouldn’t want to go back at all, I’m so much more confident and comfortable and happy.
By Jenn, November 30, 2007 @ 3:30 pm
Amen! Thank you for writing this. It’s so, so true.
By Heidi, November 30, 2007 @ 4:50 pm
Coming out of lurking to wish you a happy 35th! I love your site.
By Liz, November 30, 2007 @ 5:03 pm
Man, I don’t think I could ever do my 20s over again. Not that they weren’t good to me. Because they were very good and very fun. But just thinking about them makes me tired and feel a little bit hungover.
Also: happy birthday to you, Lisa. Thirty-five is the new twenty-one, doncha know?
By Liz, November 30, 2007 @ 6:05 pm
Happy Birthday, Lisa - as of midnight, I’ll be…um…well, closer to being nearly ten years older than you - and I still wouldn’t go back.
Oh, and we STILL look good ;o)
By Amber, November 30, 2007 @ 9:00 pm
Happy birthday to her! Though I hate to break it to you: if you were 20 pounds lighter, there would be nothing left of you!
By Isabel, November 30, 2007 @ 11:13 pm
Happy Birthday pretty lady!!
And what a great letter to your cousin. You hit the nail on the head.
By abunslife, November 30, 2007 @ 11:19 pm
Happy Happy Birthday! Did you do your Weds. girls night out to celebrate? I’ll have one here at the house in honor of you. And, btw, there is NO WAY IN HELL, you could get me to go back any earlier than 25.
By Carrie, December 1, 2007 @ 8:45 am
Happy Birthday to you, Lisa!
I wish I had a cousin like you to send the 20-yr-old me a letter that would give me such a great perspective!
By Foggy City Mommy, December 2, 2007 @ 12:10 am
yo! have a hella happy birthday!!!!!
(was that cali enough for you, dude?)
By mothergoosemouse, December 2, 2007 @ 3:46 am
Happy birthday!! I agree completely. While I’d love to have my younger figure back (and maybe an opportunity to flirt ambitiously now and then), I am infinitely happier here in my mid-thirties than I was as a twenty-something.
And 20 pounds heavier? Good gravy - you must have been malnourished then, because you are absolutely gorgeous now.
By Alpha Dude, December 2, 2007 @ 4:21 am
Happy Birthday, Lisa!
I’m with you. 20 wasn’t a good year for me.
By Lori, December 2, 2007 @ 4:33 am
Lisa! Happy 35th birthday dollface! I hope it was a great one. ITA with your feelings about not wanting to turn back time…the wisdom, self-assurance, and perspective that comes with age is something I wouldn’t want to lose.
Many more!
By Nap Warden, December 2, 2007 @ 5:29 pm
Happy birthday…Oh the 20’s so full of fun, and free of care. Why did I worry so much about things that eventually did come to me? The only way I would go back is if I could know then, what I know now!
By Sarah, December 3, 2007 @ 12:02 am
Happy birthday to the both of you!
By Sugared Harpy, December 4, 2007 @ 5:31 pm
Happy Birthday, baby!!!
I wouldn’t go back to 20 at all. No, thank you. Nuh uh. I’ll take 31 any damn day
Because, you nailed it, you’re so much more comfortable and confident in who you are.
By Tracy Rolling, December 6, 2007 @ 5:30 pm
Happy belated birthday.
I find that one should revise one’s ideal weight up by ten pounds every decade. At 16 I weighed 110 pounds and figured that was about perfect. At 25 I realized 120 was really the ideal size for me, and now that I’m 35 I see that I was wrong all along and I was really built to weigh in at 130.