To be 20 again… (no thanks)
Dear Danielle,
Last night we e-mailed each other and did a bit of catching up. It was so fun! You mentioned that you a mere five months from turning 21. You’re counting down the days. I had to laugh as nostalgia washed over me.
As of midnight, I turned 35.
Seems so freaking old, right? I know! I thought the same thing at 20. (I’m now considered to be of “advanced maternal age.” That made me laugh out loud just typing it!)
I know what’s ahead of you… What you’ll experience in your 20’s. I envy you all of the adventures you’ll have. You’ll finish college. You’ll embark on a career. You will travel. You will meet tons of new people. You are going to have SO much fun along the way. You may even get married and start a family.
But honestly? I’d rather be 35. I may be about 15 pounds heavier than I was at 21, (Ok. So maybe more like 20.) but I feel so much more comfortable in my skin. The perspective you earn as the years pass is such an amazing gift. Things that seemed like the end of the world at 21 or 23 don’t seem like such a hurdle now. Most of the chicks I know that are well into their 30’s? Know what they want and need. And they aren’t scared to ask for it. They have “balls.” And that’s a good thing.
You are gorgeous, smart, and have an amazing figure. But I don’t envy you the angst that comes with being in one’s 20’s — of not knowing what you are truly capable of. Of not fully knowing yourself.
But with each passing day, you will learn. You will laugh, cry, be amazed and ponder many things. We all do those things. But life just seems more vivid and emotionally vulnerable during that decade. You don’t know how strong you are until you’ve been through some, well… shit. Just remember that it will pass. You will emerge stronger, wiser, and ultimately more self-assured. Please keep your eyes, ears and heart open. What you learn will greatly influence your actions down the road.
I wish you well, dear cousin. And I hope you keep me updated every step of the way. I’ll be cheering for you.
Love,
Lisa






Alissa on 29 Nov 2007 at 8:05 pm #
Happy Birthday!
Never again would I want to be 20. No way. Nor would I want to go back to high school–even though once I thought it was “the best time of my life”. No.
33 is fine with me, thank you very much.
Heidi on 29 Nov 2007 at 8:26 pm #
So true…and a lovely letter to your cousin!
Heidi
Elizabeth on 29 Nov 2007 at 8:38 pm #
Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Biiiirthday Midwestern Mommy!
Happy Birthday to you!
Ah, to be 35 again
Hope you have a great day!
Alexandra on 29 Nov 2007 at 8:58 pm #
Awesome! I’m 33… I remember being in my 20s and thinking people in their late 30s/early 40s were ancient! Some of my best friends are there, and I’m not far behind!
Ree on 29 Nov 2007 at 9:20 pm #
Happy Birthday Lisa baby!
And great advice to young women everywhere.
Dana on 29 Nov 2007 at 11:31 pm #
What a sweet letter!
I don’t know if I miss being 21….or 20….o 19. Hehe.
debra on 30 Nov 2007 at 1:31 am #
Happy birthday, lady! I didn’t know we shared a birthday month! Very cool.
The only way I would go back to being 20…nah, no thanks. Forty-three is pretty terrific.
P.S. I missed you while you were gone over the holiday. Glad you’re back safe and sound!
Jerseygirl89 on 30 Nov 2007 at 4:22 am #
Happy Birthday! Great letter. I’m 36 and all I’d like is my 21 year old body. I’ll even keep my wrinkles. But I would never, ever give up who I am now, that’s for sure.
Kristin on 30 Nov 2007 at 5:23 am #
Happy Birthday, hot stuff! Like you, I would no more revisit my twenties than pull my eyelashes out… there are so many changes over that decade that it’s a wonder we’re not worn out by 30. At 20 I couldn’t have a (legal) drink, was still in college and was dating some loser with great hair and living in a rental apartment on the Balboa Penninsula… at 30 I was married with 2 kids, a homeowner, and up to my eyeballs in responsibility… now, in my late thirties, I think I am starting to find some rhythm to my life!
slackermommy on 30 Nov 2007 at 6:02 am #
Happy Birthday, girl! I’m with you, I don’t want to go back. I may have had a great figure and skin but I was an emotional mess in my twenties. The only way I would go back is if I could go with what I know now. In a perfect world. *sigh*
Michelle at Scribbit on 30 Nov 2007 at 7:51 am #
I agree–I wouldn’t want to go back at all, I’m so much more confident and comfortable and happy.
Jenn on 30 Nov 2007 at 3:30 pm #
Amen! Thank you for writing this. It’s so, so true.
Heidi on 30 Nov 2007 at 4:50 pm #
Coming out of lurking to wish you a happy 35th! I love your site.
Liz on 30 Nov 2007 at 5:03 pm #
Man, I don’t think I could ever do my 20s over again. Not that they weren’t good to me. Because they were very good and very fun. But just thinking about them makes me tired and feel a little bit hungover.
Also: happy birthday to you, Lisa. Thirty-five is the new twenty-one, doncha know?
Liz on 30 Nov 2007 at 6:05 pm #
Happy Birthday, Lisa - as of midnight, I’ll be…um…well, closer to being nearly ten years older than you - and I still wouldn’t go back.
Oh, and we STILL look good ;o)
Amber on 30 Nov 2007 at 9:00 pm #
Happy birthday to her! Though I hate to break it to you: if you were 20 pounds lighter, there would be nothing left of you!
Isabel on 30 Nov 2007 at 11:13 pm #
Happy Birthday pretty lady!!
And what a great letter to your cousin. You hit the nail on the head.
abunslife on 30 Nov 2007 at 11:19 pm #
Happy Happy Birthday! Did you do your Weds. girls night out to celebrate? I’ll have one here at the house in honor of you. And, btw, there is NO WAY IN HELL, you could get me to go back any earlier than 25.
Carrie on 01 Dec 2007 at 8:45 am #
Happy Birthday to you, Lisa!
I wish I had a cousin like you to send the 20-yr-old me a letter that would give me such a great perspective!
Foggy City Mommy on 02 Dec 2007 at 12:10 am #
yo! have a hella happy birthday!!!!!
(was that cali enough for you, dude?)
mothergoosemouse on 02 Dec 2007 at 3:46 am #
Happy birthday!! I agree completely. While I’d love to have my younger figure back (and maybe an opportunity to flirt ambitiously now and then), I am infinitely happier here in my mid-thirties than I was as a twenty-something.
And 20 pounds heavier? Good gravy - you must have been malnourished then, because you are absolutely gorgeous now.
Alpha Dude on 02 Dec 2007 at 4:21 am #
Happy Birthday, Lisa!
I’m with you. 20 wasn’t a good year for me.
Lori on 02 Dec 2007 at 4:33 am #
Lisa! Happy 35th birthday dollface! I hope it was a great one. ITA with your feelings about not wanting to turn back time…the wisdom, self-assurance, and perspective that comes with age is something I wouldn’t want to lose.
Many more!
Nap Warden on 02 Dec 2007 at 5:29 pm #
Happy birthday…Oh the 20’s so full of fun, and free of care. Why did I worry so much about things that eventually did come to me? The only way I would go back is if I could know then, what I know now!
Sarah on 03 Dec 2007 at 12:02 am #
Happy birthday to the both of you!
Sugared Harpy on 04 Dec 2007 at 5:31 pm #
Happy Birthday, baby!!!
I wouldn’t go back to 20 at all. No, thank you. Nuh uh. I’ll take 31 any damn day
Because, you nailed it, you’re so much more comfortable and confident in who you are.
Tracy Rolling on 06 Dec 2007 at 5:30 pm #
Happy belated birthday.
I find that one should revise one’s ideal weight up by ten pounds every decade. At 16 I weighed 110 pounds and figured that was about perfect. At 25 I realized 120 was really the ideal size for me, and now that I’m 35 I see that I was wrong all along and I was really built to weigh in at 130.