Things I’ve said this past week.
(And yes, I really did keep track this week.)
“I don’t care what kind of a bad guy you are. My underwear does NOT belong on your head.”
“Abbeydog is not interested in wearing your underwear. Stop trying to put it on her head too.”
“Stop chasing the dog with your light saber.”
“Stop trying to touch the dog’s butt with the light saber.”
(While watching Star Wars) “That’s not Darth Vader — that’s his twin brother Garth Vader. Garth is the nice guy. He rides a unicorn and is friends with all of the flower people on the planet “Sissy Pants” (It really makes him angry when I say this, but I do it anyway… Just to mess with him.)
“Yes, really. Would I lie to you?” (The unspoken answer to that would be, “Yes. I would lie to you. I’m your mom. I can do that.”)
“Of course Wookies exist.”
“I see you left your homework folder AND your listening ears at school.”
“I’m sorry but I can’t in good conscious call you “Speed” when it takes you five whole minutes to put on your seat belt.”
“Its not Ollie Whine Cannoli - Its Obe Wan Cannelloni” (Yeah, I know its wrong.)
“If you use a scissor to put one more hole in any of your shirts, I’m going to start sending you to school naked.”
“No, its not funny when you pee in the trashcan, on the wall or on the trim behind the toilet.”
So what are some of the things YOU have found yourself saying this past week?
P.S. My lovely sis-in-law, Nic sent me a link to this blog. Highly amusing. Check it out.
flutter on 07 Dec 2007 at 9:25 pm #
*snort*
Heidi on 08 Dec 2007 at 10:14 am #
I sense a slight obsession with Star Wars in your abode?
Heidi
Alissa on 08 Dec 2007 at 7:35 pm #
Yes, Chewbacca is furry. Yes he is. Yes, furry and hairy are the same things. No, you can’t let your hair grow long like Chewbacca’s.
Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants on 09 Dec 2007 at 6:09 am #
We live in the same house!
Great minds think alike, babe.
Just discovered your blog from Slackermommy.
Supa-Fab stuff!
Lisa on 10 Dec 2007 at 1:23 am #
Very funny and very true. I find myself laughing internally when I hear some of the things that come out of my mouth on daily basis but cannot recall anything at the moment.
Rebecca on 10 Dec 2007 at 3:13 am #
Pure brilliance. This is why I want to stalk you.
sugared harpy on 10 Dec 2007 at 3:53 am #
Of course Wookies are real….HA!
I go straight to Bloodhound Gang, though, in my head: “Always stroking your own wookie…”
Amber on 10 Dec 2007 at 8:10 am #
Usually I record entire coversations but I LOVE the idea of remembering vignettes. Especially those out of context like yours. They certainly had me chortling.
Liz on 10 Dec 2007 at 3:14 pm #
Lisa,
Whenever I hear you talk like this, the more I love you and the better I feel about myself!
Thank you SO much for making my day ;o)
Sheila / Kiki36 on 10 Dec 2007 at 4:16 pm #
Thank you for the laughter! OK, things I have said… “I think Aliens look just like us and are not little green men” and “Why would you want to be a sith instead of a Jedi?”
ABunsLife on 10 Dec 2007 at 8:24 pm #
Hmmm, what have I said this week….
In or out, make a freakin choice!
Quit chewing that on the hardwood floors!
Please stop boot scootin…..do it outside.
For the love! You have fresh water in your bowl!
I pick up your toys just as often as I do the kids’ toys.
Quit whining, you’ve already had treats today.
Quit whining, you just got back from your walk, your not going on another one.
Go on, Get!
Get off the bed, get off the couch, just get!
The dogs have been major PITAs this week…..and I really didn’t want to keep track of what I have said to my children. I probably would be horrified.
VirtualSprite on 10 Dec 2007 at 8:45 pm #
This is so funny!
Susan on 10 Dec 2007 at 9:31 pm #
That is so funny! Thanks for making my day.
Daisy on 10 Dec 2007 at 10:23 pm #
I told you three times, and that’s two times too many.
Yes, you will follow the same rules as everyone else in this class.
No, you may not wear your snowpants and boots during math.
Don’t make me say it again.
No running or tag games in the hallway.
No running or tag games in the classroom!!
Do I really have to say this again?!
Liz on 11 Dec 2007 at 1:27 am #
“Okay, you go ahead and have your tantrum. You’re still not going to play with that Sharpie.”
“Are you done with your tantrum now?”
“Shouting will not get you anywhere.”
“Enough with the shouting!”
As I’m sure you know, trying to reason with a two year old is a fruitless task.
Eau'Flynn on 11 Dec 2007 at 4:20 am #
I love it!!! I don’t know if I want to keep a log of what I’ve said!
angela on 11 Dec 2007 at 4:24 am #
Mostly just, “I wonder what’s saved on TiVo tonight?” Obviously in a house like yours, you don’t even need TV to be entertained.
Michelle at Scribbit on 11 Dec 2007 at 5:59 am #
I couldn’t possibly top these, they are the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time.
creative-type dad on 11 Dec 2007 at 6:18 am #
Hilarious!
I swear my neighbor is a Wookie.
sweatpantsmom on 11 Dec 2007 at 6:31 am #
“Your sister’s right - Michael Jackson used to be black.” (Seriously.)
Be A Super Dad on 16 Dec 2007 at 6:16 pm #
Hi your comment is funny.
I will definitely read your diary..
Thank you