Peter the Christmas snow penis
It is a beautiful, warm winter day. You’ve got about eight inches of snow melting in your backyard as well as a kid who’s finally feeling better from a stomach virus and needs to get outside. What do you do?
Of course you try to make a snowman. But then you soon remember that your snowman making skills? Utterly suck. Especially after you realize that what you’re actually crafting looks more like a snow penis. And a lumpy one at that.
You have NO IDEA how tempted I was to make the base of that penis resemble a nut-sack more so than what it already does. And because of this snow penis I also have an overwhelming temptation to create a story about the Christmas miracle of the snow penis (you know, rising for just a few days, strong and hard, until it melts away to mush.)
But this is a FAMILY neighborhood and (a somewhat family) website. So adornments were put upon the snow penis.
And to those guys working on my neighbor’s basement? I HEARD YOU LAUGHING AT MY SNOW PENIS!
The hubby thinks the snow penis should be named “Peter”. What do YOU think?
P.S. Do you show your love through food? (I know I do.) Hop over here to read a review on a book that’s going to give you a plethora of tips, tricks, recipes and ideas. Just in time for the holidays!
Alissa on 19 Dec 2007 at 12:56 am #
I think that’s the funniest thing I’ve seen all day
Yes, call him Peter.
ABunsLife on 19 Dec 2007 at 2:40 am #
I like the snow penis, much cuter than the real thing.
Sorry you all had that stomach virus at your house, we had it too. Luckily only Jake got it, only three trips to the toilet and he was fine. I keep waiting…..
flutter on 19 Dec 2007 at 4:47 am #
How about Richard? Dick for short? heh…..
Suebob on 19 Dec 2007 at 5:23 am #
Mr. Johnson?
You are too funny. It could be worse. It could be a christmas poo like Mr Hankey.
Mrs. G. on 19 Dec 2007 at 5:41 am #
Peter…or Woody, Woody works hard. Oh lord, I better stop.
Raquelamisto on 19 Dec 2007 at 5:42 am #
you got me crackin’ up! honestly, I was expecting that you may have slapped a snow-made penis onto your snowman… I ALMOST feel better knowing that i was wrong.
Lisa on 19 Dec 2007 at 6:44 am #
Mr. Johnson I presume?
Cheryl on 19 Dec 2007 at 10:19 am #
I definitely vote for Mr. Johnson. Feels more formal.
FunnyGal KAT on 19 Dec 2007 at 12:53 pm #
Not only a fun activity for the kiddies, but an educational one too! I thought of “Richard” too, but Flutter was on top of that one (no pun intended). OK, I’d better stop here, but it’s nice to know I’m probably not the only one who giggles to myself when someone is talking about something normal and I’m only catching the sexual meaning of it.
Zookeeper on 19 Dec 2007 at 2:02 pm #
“A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.”
- Anonymous
Alexandra on 19 Dec 2007 at 2:24 pm #
FUNNY!!!
Either that, or Richard!
Elizabeth on 19 Dec 2007 at 2:28 pm #
Bwahahahaha!
Liz on 19 Dec 2007 at 2:53 pm #
Frosty the Phallic?
rachel on 19 Dec 2007 at 2:56 pm #
oh. my. gosh. that is officially the most hilarious thing i’ve seen all winter (so far, it’s early still…) any neighbor complaints? haha.
VirtualSprite on 19 Dec 2007 at 3:07 pm #
That is so funny! I can honestly say in all my years in Wisconsin, I’ve never seen a snow penis. Love it!
PunditMom on 19 Dec 2007 at 3:18 pm #
:O
Chris Cactus on 19 Dec 2007 at 3:31 pm #
Ahhh, nothing like a good hand-crafted snow penis to make the winter seem complete.
Autumn on 19 Dec 2007 at 3:40 pm #
This made my morning - thank you!
Oh, The Joys on 19 Dec 2007 at 4:42 pm #
I LOVE it! Yay, Peter!
Susan on 19 Dec 2007 at 4:44 pm #
OMG! You all have got me spitting out my coffee this morning! Thanks for the laughs. It really helped my mood since I’ve been pretty pissed after reading about the Spears pregnancy.
Sugared Harpy on 19 Dec 2007 at 5:09 pm #
Oh my lands, a snow penis. It IS.
The General?
Here’s a link for euphemisms, with love:
http://www.starma.com/penis/penis.html
HollowSquirrel on 19 Dec 2007 at 6:20 pm #
Oh sweet baby J, Midwestern Mommy…you’re so dirrrrrty!
Linda on 19 Dec 2007 at 10:18 pm #
ROFLMAO! Can I ask if plans are being made for an…umm, horizontal snowman? With a date?
I can see the lawn sign now: “This front yard is rated ‘R’…”
slackermommy on 19 Dec 2007 at 10:24 pm #
That rocks! Did you see the penis monstrocity at the porn house a few years ago? Do you know about the porn house on New Ballwin? There’s a new family in there now but when that young kid lived there him and his buddies covered the mailbox with a very anatomically correct snow penis and scrotum. They also had huge lighted words across the lawn that spelled HO HO HO. I don’t think they were referencing Santa!
Ruth Dynamite on 20 Dec 2007 at 1:37 am #
First - THANK YOU for the phrase “Peter the Christmas Snow Penis.” I find that inexplicably hilarious.
Second - You’ve inspired mt to make a phallic snow sculpture on my front lawn this winter.
Third - The “miracle of the snow penis”???
Just stop. This is too funny.
Mommy off the Record on 20 Dec 2007 at 3:33 am #
I was all set on “Peter”, but I think I like Liz’s “Frosty the Phallic” even better. LOL
Amber on 20 Dec 2007 at 3:03 pm #
Just trying to think how you would make a giant condom? Perhaps grab one of your raincoats?
christina_the_wench on 20 Dec 2007 at 8:18 pm #
Dirty girl. LOL
Add some pubes. I dare you.
Nap Warden on 20 Dec 2007 at 10:43 pm #
I was gonna lie and say “oh it’s a great snowman”…but it looks like a penis…Yep, name him Peter;)
Dana on 21 Dec 2007 at 4:06 am #
Oh my gawd, is that snow penis wearing a sombrero?
The porn house?? This is like “The ‘Burbs II.”
(Is your snow penis wearing a sombrero or is it just happy to see me? OMG LOOKIT what you started. The Freudisms keep coming. OMG. STILL.)
rebekah on 21 Dec 2007 at 12:05 pm #
ROFLOLOLOL
angela on 23 Dec 2007 at 4:40 am #
I remember snow penises being quite popular around my old college campus. Don’t feel bad, you’re just preparing Seth with the skills he will one day use to impress all his friends in between cramming for finals.
Dana on 23 Dec 2007 at 4:41 am #
-laughing to hard to comment-
BTW — I love the new blog design. Tres chic!