Midwestern Mommy

The lovely and delightful Carrie tagged me for a random meme. And since she’s so awesome, I must oblige, yes?

5 Random Weird facts about me

5.) I never step on manhole covers due to a freak accident from years ago.

4.) Years ago a telephone company was working in a certain area and broke part of the manhole so the cover wasn’t sitting on it correctly. They didn’t bother to fix it or put any sort of caution tape around the area. While walking my dog (at 9:30 p.m. on Halloween night, 2000) I stepped on the manhole cover which then flipped on its side and wedged itself into the manhole. I ended up straddling the cover while it was wedged in the manhole. Can you imagine? One minute you are walking along. The next minute, the concrete beneath you disappears and you drop but only for a split second because your full weight comes down on this thick circle of concrete? And what stops you is your crotch?

3.) The force tore parts of my vagina/labia. The cover dropped on its side, as did I. Manhole covers are very heavy. So once I landed on my side, (with one leg dangling in the manhole) I had to push the manhole cover off of me and still had to walk a quarter mile home. By the time I got home blood was running down my legs and my “lady parts” were swollen. I could stand more than shoulder length apart and still feel the vaginal lips rubbing up against my inner thighs.

2.)I went to the ER that night but the next day went to my gyno to document the bruising and have the “lady parts” checked out. The entire side of my body was black and blue. My “lady parts” were so swollen and black, that if I’d taken a photo, you wouldn’t even know what you were looking at. The physician assistant cried as she documented the bruises. She felt really bad for me.

1.) Upon impact, I saw a flash of hot white. Who knew pain had a color?  I also chipped pubic bone couldn’t wear underwear for six weeks. It was eight weeks until I could wear pants mainly because of the seams in the crotch area. (If I was a guy, my nickname would now be “No-nuts”.)

Hi. I’m Lisa. And I like to overshare! YIKES. That’ll teach Carrie to choose me for a meme, eh?

5 Places I want to see or see again 

 5.) Ireland/Scotland/England (want to see)

4.) Spain (want to see)

3.) Bavaria, Germany, Austria (want to see)

2.) Napa/San Fran (revisit)

1.) New York (revisit)

Now Linlee, Nancy, Zookeeper, A bun’s life and Alexandra go forth and meme your heart out.

The rules are: Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.

Share five random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog.

Share the five top places on your “want to see or want to see again” list.

Tag a minimum of five random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.

Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment in their blog.

Happy Weekend, ya’ll!

There’s a petite cake in the freezer. A chocolate one with butter-creme icing. Every now and again I’ll buy one of these cakes, hide it in the freezer then cut off a chunk of it for lunch each day. (If I do stuff like this, I feel compelled to exercise, so one could make the argument that sweets HELP make certain people healthy and fit. Right?)

The cake couldn’t be hidden this time, so there’s a sign on it. The husband knows better than the mess with my cake. But I like to give certain men in this household a “reminder” here and again.

It all comes down to this: I will share my life, my body, and my sleep space. I will even sacrifice my boobs, sleep, and sanity. But I will NOT share my sweets. (Ok. I would share them with YOU dear friends. And that’s because you understand the love that I feel for sugary goodness.)

Just so I don’t feel like such a horrible person for not sharing… Why don’t you lovelies tell me what YOU refuse to share with the rest of the people who inhabit your household? Pretty please? With chocolate on top?

(Heidi’s SO lucky. She’s been eating Norweign chocolate.)

(Carrie I promise to do your meme on Friday, K?)

“You’re getting a hunchback. I think you’ve got osteoporosis*,” a certain person** tells me. In fact, almost every time I see her these past few months, she expresses concern in regards to my rounding back.

I’d like to scream. But instead I say politely, “Well, that’s just the way I stand.”

No one has ever made an issue of my posture until now. And for the record, no one has ever had to. I’m painfully aware of my rounded shoulders and stance. I see it in the mirror, in photos, and even in video.

Over the years I’ve tried in earnest to correct this problem. But after as little as 10 minutes of standing perfectly straight, my back and shoulders begin to ache. I start to feel as if I can’t draw a deep breath. My neck and even the base of my skull start to throb. Frankly, standing straight is very uncomfortable.  And when I’m physically tired or feel emotionally beaten, I slump over even more. Although back and stomach exercises help, it doesn’t entirely remedy the pose. So over the past few years, I stopped trying. I pour my energy into something I deem far more constructive and simply cease to entertain any more posture-producing notions.

What this person doesn’t realize is, that each time she mentions this issue, she’s verbally sticking a knife into a wound that has never completely healed. I was a very awkward child. I was uncoordinated, dorky-looking and wore obvious hand-me downs. My working-class parents were (and still are) very high strung, strict people. I was painfully shy, socially awkward and equally as anxiety-riddled as they. I had no sense of self-worth. I was an easy target for put downs, insults and pranks from other girls AND boys. If I wasn’t getting picked on in class, it was coming from some other kid in a grade above me. If it wasn’t during class, it was happening at lunch, recess, standing in line for the bus or while riding the bus. Between myself and a good friend, (who I’m still friends with today) we were the “social rejects” of our class. I was constantly reminded of my family’s economical/social standing. We were, (gasp!) “have-nots” in a room full of “haves.” Most of those “haves” never let me forget that. (My sister had the same issues with the kids at our school.)

By fifth grade, I started slouching. Looking back it was a subconscious attempt to remain as invisible as possible. If I didn’t attract any attention, maybe no one would see me. If no one saw me, maybe I could get by without being made fun of? I think it did work to some extent. But it was also just one more thing that could be used against me by my peers as I got into junior high.

I went on to attend a public high school filled with other (gasp!) working class kids. Most of us had after school/weekend jobs. Most of us stressed over how we’d pay for college. The kids with the closet full of designer clothes were the ones that seemed out of place. High school was one of the happiest times of my life – I had friends who valued me for who I was. (I feel so lucky and proud to know them.)

High school, college, and early adulthood quickly passed. But I never have been able to shake the slouch. I can still remember quite vividly the teasing and tormenting. I am still a very shy person at heart. The thought of strangers noticing me fills me with dread. I still aspire to be invisible when out in public. And so I still slouch. But frankly? It works.

I know poor posture looks bad and can convey a negative first impression. But I’d like to think at this point in my life, people are able to see beyond something so superfluous. I’d like to think they notice my smile or value my sincerity more so than how erect I stand. I’m not an “improvement project”. I’m a person. I am who I am. If I’m ok with the way I stand, why can’t this person accept that? 

If I’m going to commit to enchancing anything it would be to better my marriage, writing skills or character. And that way of thinking isn’t going to change anytime soon.

*I don’t have osteoporosis.

**Person is related to me but not by blood.  

The hubby has many fond childhood memories of bonding with his dad while conducting various science experiments. Need to make a battery out of a lemon or a clock made out of potatoes? Marc can tell you how to do that and why it works.  He and his dad tackled all kinds of projects. (Who needs MacGyver when you’ve got a chemistry professor in the family?)

Now both Marc and his father are starting to share their passion for science with Seth. As Seth grows, I can see he’s definitely taking after his paternal grandfather’s side of the family. He’s very interested in various science fields – from chemistry to physics to biology.

But how do you foster a love of science when you, yourself, flunked high school chemistry? Well, you have two choices. You can marry a person who’s very strong in science (like I did) or you can start checking lots of websites like Hobby Science or Zoom for project ideas as well as simple explanations. (I do this too.)

Identifying concepts your child will find of most interest can sometimes be tricky. But for the most part,  just follow their lead. (Of course you’ll have to adjust your vocabulary and explanation of concepts depending on age.) Seth is a Star Wars fanatic. So what better time to introduce astronomy? When his passion for all things transportation was at its peak, we introduced the concept of energy and how the parts of the vehicle interact with each other in order to make that vehicle stop and go. When he eats, we discuss food choices, nutrients found in various foods, as well as how the body uses those nutrients. When I’ve vacuumed, we’ve discussed how the vacuum cleaner works. When he’s gotten a cold, we’ve discussed germs, how they get into the body, why we cough, and that lovely byproduct — snot.

When it is too cold for a trip to the Missouri Botanical Garden,  St. Louis Science Center, The Magic House or the St. Louis Zoo we check YouTube. Want to watch a solar eclipse? Want to watch a tornado form and wreak some havoc? Want to see how rattlesnakes mate? It is there.

But it is always good for kiddos to get some hands-on experience, yes? And for that, there are also some supa cool offerings at Target for kids of varying age ranges and interest. The Discovery Channel Store also has a plethora of products. 

Although Seth has been begging for this FOREVER he recently got this for Valentine’s Day. This totally appealed to the hubby too - being he’s an electrical/computer engineer.

This blog post is was written on behalf of Parent Bloggers Network as part of the Zula Intergalactic Inquirer blog blast.

First things first… The winner of the MikaRose dress is Liz!  (It was VERY difficult to come to a decision. So Seth drew names from a bowl. Thanks, by the way. I made him write all of your names twice as well as cut out the pieces of paper. You unknowingly help him practice his fine motor skills. heehee.) But don’t worry, I’ve got another give away in the works for next week. (And Liz, can I get your e-mail address so I can connect you to the lovely lady at MikaRose?)

Things have been depressing on this blog lately so I thought I’d switch gears for a bit and let you know about a new holiday coming up. You know how every February 14, men get a chance to display their fondness for their wives or girlfriends by bestowing various romantic tokens of affection (or not)?

Well, guys secretly feel left out. They want their own special holiday. Thus, a new holiday has been created. March 20 is now officially “Steak, Bl*w j*b and Shut the Hell Up” day. This holiday has been created so ladies can show their man just how much they love him. There are no cards, flowers or special nights - just a steak, a bj and some solitude. 

Just think — pairing Valentine’s Day with Steak, Bl*w j*b and Shut the Hell Up” day could usher in a new age of love as men everywhere will try that much harder in February to ensure a more memorable March.  The word is already spreading but like any new idea — it just needs a little push to get the ball rolling. So spread the word and spread the love!

I received this message from a fun, fabby friend. I shortened parts of it but I can’t claim to be the creator/writer of this idea…. I have no idea who wrote it or else I’d give credit where its due. Sorry if it offends anyone. I just thought it was kind of funny.

Saturday morning began unlike most. I’d gone to bed hazy, tired and emotionally drained the night before. I awoke intensely angry, tired and on edge. I snapped at my son and simmered in anger. My head pounded, so I fetched a fountain soda. (It seems to work sometimes.) When I got back home, my son was upstairs talking to his father. He stood out in the hallway when he heard me open the door.

“Daddy says you’re really selfish for only getting yourself something and nothing for us,” he said.

It was the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back. At that point, I felt so angry I’m surprise my head didn’t explode. Although that would have been quite messy, it definitely would have spared both men of the house the tirade I unleashed.

I stomped up the stairs. “Do you WANT to talk about SELFISHNESS?” I screamed at my husband. “DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GO THERE?”

Suffice to say, I unleashed a very strongly worded monologue in a very sharp tone about how I felt and why. Ideas were exchanged in a nonconstructive, hurtful way. Our perspectives on a number of instances were vastly different. 

You know what they say. There’s three sides to every story. There’s my side, your side, and the truth.

After a bit of time, we calmed down and really talked. We worked through the hurt and frustration. The bottom line is I need more from him — more support, more kind gestures and for him to be more emotionally involved. He’s a good man. He works hard to provide for our family. We have a comfortable home and life. Seth has some amazing opportunities. This is all because of HIS efforts, brain, ambition and talent. But most women will agree — financial support isn’t the be all and end all. We need more from our partners.

We ended our fight with concessions. We made sure to let Seth know we weren’t upset with him. We still love each other and we worked things out.

I went about the rest of the day cleaning, paying bills, running errands and feeling even more emotionally haggered than I had felt Friday night.

Then Seth’s BFF came over to spend the night. We’d promised them a trip to Seth’s most favorite place in the world - the City Museum.

“I can tell you’re tired and don’t feel good. You’ve had a rough week. Why don’t you stay home and watch chick flicks while I take these boys to the City Museum,” he offered.

I took him up on his offer. “I don’t know if I’ll even be awake long enough to watch anything,” I said. “But thanks. I need some quiet time.”

He hugged me and whispered sweet words – a healing balm for my battered soul.

I watched them leave. Relief washed over me.

We live. We learn. We love. We hurt. When we forgive, we grow. And then we do it all over again, tomorrow.

I know I promised to post the winner of the drawing on Thursday. But this week has been on filled with some intense sinus headaches as well as me “sucking it up” and taking care of business anyway. Last night I was up with a sick little boy. He’s still not back to normal. 

I feel like I’ve just been through some sort of emotional hazing. This past week, in the midst of nasty headaches and getting things done, the boy has seemed even more emotionally needy and restless. By 7 each night, I was feeling as if I was thiseverlovingclose to losing my sanity.

Of course there’s more affecting my mood. I’m tired and saddened by so many things I can’t speak of involving my marriage. You know what I’d really like? Some respect. Some kindness. I’d like my husband to put our family before his work every now and again. I’d like for him to come home from work before 7:30 most nights. And when he’s home, I’d like for him to take more interest in our son than he does in the tv and his computer. I’d like for him to not act as if he’s done me the favor of a lifetime just because he put the boy to bed after I begged him to. He can keep the empty promises and pretty words. A little gesture to show me he values me would be lovely. 

Early, early in the morning, once Seth was finally asleep, I wrote him an e-mail begging him to come home between 4-5 tonight because I’m utterly fried. He said he would. It would be really nice if he’d actually done so. But he arrived home about 6:15 p.m. instead. Of course there are excuses. There always are. 

You know what would also be nice? If he’d have come home by 7 p.m. last night so we could have a family dinner. But of course, he “couldn’t get away” from his meeting so he came home about 9 p.m. instead. I didn’t expect a gift or even a card for Valentine’s Day, although I did do something special for him and our son. But coming home at a decent time would have been nice. Am I asking too much?

Come April, it will be 9 years of this stuff. I’m tired of feeling so alone in our marriage. I’m tired of fighting for it. I’m tired of trying (for years) to explain my perspective only to have him refuse to see any of it. I feel hopeless and heartbroken.

Sorry for the spiel. I just wanted to let you know that I don’t have the heart or energy to post a winner. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

The very sweet Sarah tagged me for a Two Things meme. I’m really bad about doing these things. So if you’ve tagged me and are waiting for me to do your meme, PLEASE remind me again. I’m a total dingbat with the short-term memory of a gnat.  But if you remind me, I PROMISE I’ll participate this time! 

Two names you go by…(in blogland) Mother of Bun and Midwestern Mommy (in real life) “Lisa” or “Maa-ooommmmm”.)

Two things you are wearing right now… A smile and my glasses. Yeehaw! Naked blogging! Um. No not really. My mother-in-law is here and sleeping in the bedroom next to the office. Plus, I’m far too modest for that sort of thing. So I guess I’ll have to say, jammy bottoms and a Scrapblog t-shirt from BlogHer 2007.)

Two things you would want (or have) in a relationship… Like Sarah, I’d go with trust and respect. (Good answer Sarah!)  

Two of your favorite things to do… Cuddle with the boy and hubby, get together with the girls and go dancing.

Two things you want very badly at the moment… To only require 5 hours of sleep a night. That way I’d have three more hours a day to do stuff like exercise, blog, and run errands. I also desperately want to buy another box of candy, eat it all in one sitting while watching a chick flick and not feel sick or gain weight as a result.

Two pets you have or have had… Abbeydog the part Labby (and pointer mix) and Bertie the African Dwarf Frog

Two things that you did last night… Watched this movie in bed, took a bunch of meds for a migraine.

Two things you ate today… Spinache salad and brownies

Two people you last talked to… The Honey and The Bunny

Two things you’re doing tomorrow… Catch up on blog reading and help boy finish up his valentine’s day cards.

Two longest car rides… From St. Louis to Lake Charles Louisiana, Thanksgiving, ‘07 to visit family. (Hi Ashley! Hi Cindy! Hi Nic!) Also from St. Louis to some place in Michigan when Seth was 3 months old for a mini-vacay.

Two favorite holidays… Any holiday with cake. Any holiday with booze. (Of course any holiday where fun peeps are involved - that goes without sayin…)

Two favorite beverages… Diet Coke Cocktail, mint green tea 

Two people no longer alive who you’d like to talk to… (”Famous people”) Queen Elizabeth  and Gandhi. (Non famous) Any ancestors who’d talk to me.

If you’d like to participate, consider yourself tagged! Go forth and meme!

What kind of a moron goes to Walgreen’s to get cough syrup for herself, sees a big-ass box of Russell Stover’s chocolates, spends 10 minutes staring at the box trying not to buy it, then breaks down, buys it, gets home and realizes, “D’oh, forgot the cough syrup”. This moron ends up eating the entire box in three days, feels all bloated, gross and promises herself that she won’t ever do that again. (Ok. She won’t EVER do that again until Easter.)

And then? A week later? She goes to Walgreen’s again for cough syrup. Again, this moron stops at the candy aisle — the siren song of the Russell Stover’s candies impossible to resist. She stares for another 10 damn minutes. She buys the same big-ass box she bought last time. She goes home, starts eating and realizes, ”D’oh, forgot the cough syrup”. AGAIN! (cough, cough)

This would be that moron.* If you see her wandering around your neighborhood, DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT. She may seem normal enough but DO NOT let her in your house if you are harboring any sort of chocolate candies (or cosmopolitans). She’s had PMS for two weeks now. Her will power ain’t that great. Fortunately for you, she’s not dangerous. And she’s not real bright. She is easily distracted. If you find her in your home, mention that your family is still highly contagious after a violent bout with a stomach bug. Or ask if she could babysit your six kids for a minimum of 12 hours tomorrow. You’d be dropping off your kids at 5.a.m. She will most likely run out of your house so fast, you’ll just see a blur** of blond hair*** and track pants.

*Last summer, this moron took 25 pics of herself before she got a pic that made her big nose not seem so ginormous. This was that ”lucky shot.” She usually looks sort of scruffy and homeless. 

**Ok. It won’t really be a blur because she’s a slow runner.

***Partially blond. The woman REALLY needs to make an appointment to fix the old highlights.

Michaella Lawson, owner of MikaRose is giving away a $60 gift certificate to one lucky Midwestern Mommy reader! (And yes that’s enough to include shipping!)

In case you aren’t familiar with the brand, MikaRose dresses are great for the office place and other times when revealing your inner “hoochie mama” isn’t appropriate.  The dresses are cute, affordable, easy to accessorize, and not frumpy.

In order to qualify, go to the MikaRose website and then come back here and leave a comment as to what dress you’d like and why.

The boy will pick at winner on the 14th.

Oh and on the topic of cool stuff, Bob the Builder has a new dvd out that the little boys in your life are bound to love. To read a review (written on behalf of PBN) click HERE.

See this box of chocolates? The entire box may, or may not, have been hidden in a closet (under some blankets) and eaten over the course of three days.

This may, or may not, have been the ONLY food a certain blogger consumed over those three days. Candy! For lunch, dinner and breakfast!

This may, or may not, be what happens each time a certain blogger buys a box of Russell Stover’s candies. Will power? Why’d you just fly out the window? When ya coming back? What’s that? You say you can’t compete with a big ole’ box of chocolates? You’ll come back when the box is empty? Um ok.

This may, or may not, most likely happen again at least two more times this year — especially once Easter and Christmas roll around.

There may, or may not, have been a slight constipation issue as a result.

But I’ll never tell!

Now matter what stage you are at in life, or where you are headed? You are not alone.

This is the message that continuously comes back to me when reading the many, many wonderful bloggers out there. No matter what your situation? Odds are someone who has a blog has experienced or is now experiencing that same thing. We are all connected in some way.

I recently participated in a slideshow for WhyMommy. She’s got an amazing group of people who’ve been cheering her on in her fight with breast cancer. Some of the people in the slideshow are friends from high school, friends from her MOMs group, bloggers and even relatives of hers. If you are interested in viewing the slideshow, go for it. If you are interested in knowing the bloggers who participated, keep scrolling. (For some reason this blog design doesn’t really show when I link someone. So now I bold those words, just so you know.)

(Sign holders)

Dear - Marty

Susan - Kristie

We - Amy

Thinking - Heather

You - Jean

Lots - Jessica

We - Kristen

You - Robin

Our - Amanda

Support - Fertile Mertile

Prayers - Liz

and - JJ

Love - Jenn

Us - Jess 

All - Rebecca

For - Nancy

That - A bun’s life

Team - Sarah

(If I’ve forgotten any bloggers, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!)

(Cheering Section)

 Cathy and Nancy and myself.

There were even people who really wanted to participate but couldn’t as peeps unfortunately had been given a very short window of time. Amie and Sanne from the Netherlands support and adore Whymommy too!

And thanks to Marty (aka Canape) who was, at one point, a day away from having her baby and still good natured enough to answer the barrage of e-mails I sent her.