Stay tuned for the winner of the dress
I know I promised to post the winner of the drawing on Thursday. But this week has been on filled with some intense sinus headaches as well as me “sucking it up” and taking care of business anyway. Last night I was up with a sick little boy. He’s still not back to normal.
I feel like I’ve just been through some sort of emotional hazing. This past week, in the midst of nasty headaches and getting things done, the boy has seemed even more emotionally needy and restless. By 7 each night, I was feeling as if I was thiseverlovingclose to losing my sanity.
Of course there’s more affecting my mood. I’m tired and saddened by so many things I can’t speak of involving my marriage. You know what I’d really like? Some respect. Some kindness. I’d like my husband to put our family before his work every now and again. I’d like for him to come home from work before 7:30 most nights. And when he’s home, I’d like for him to take more interest in our son than he does in the tv and his computer. I’d like for him to not act as if he’s done me the favor of a lifetime just because he put the boy to bed after I begged him to. He can keep the empty promises and pretty words. A little gesture to show me he values me would be lovely.
Early, early in the morning, once Seth was finally asleep, I wrote him an e-mail begging him to come home between 4-5 tonight because I’m utterly fried. He said he would. It would be really nice if he’d actually done so. But he arrived home about 6:15 p.m. instead. Of course there are excuses. There always are.
You know what would also be nice? If he’d have come home by 7 p.m. last night so we could have a family dinner. But of course, he “couldn’t get away” from his meeting so he came home about 9 p.m. instead. I didn’t expect a gift or even a card for Valentine’s Day, although I did do something special for him and our son. But coming home at a decent time would have been nice. Am I asking too much?
Come April, it will be 9 years of this stuff. I’m tired of feeling so alone in our marriage. I’m tired of fighting for it. I’m tired of trying (for years) to explain my perspective only to have him refuse to see any of it. I feel hopeless and heartbroken.
Sorry for the spiel. I just wanted to let you know that I don’t have the heart or energy to post a winner. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.






Heather on 16 Feb 2008 at 12:19 am #
((hugs)) I wish I had something to say that would really make things better. I hope your husband came home shortly after you posted this.
mk on 16 Feb 2008 at 12:21 am #
I feel your pain and saddness comimg through… hugs, hugs and hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are here to listen and please never apologize!!!
Alissa on 16 Feb 2008 at 12:32 am #
awww. ((hugs))
Here’s hoping for a better day tomorrow.
Jen on 16 Feb 2008 at 12:44 am #
I wish I could make it better for you. Or that you had some Fairly Odd Parents to make it all go away (can you tell I have been locked up with a 7 y/o all day?).
Sarah on 16 Feb 2008 at 12:49 am #
My feed reader has a slightly different version, but I wanted to say that something you wrote really hit home with me. I, too, value the human connection. I, too, value the feeling that someone wants to listen. THAT is why I blog. You are not alone, and if I could, I’d kick him in the neck for you.
Dana on 16 Feb 2008 at 1:18 am #
I’m sorry to hear that y’all were sick. Please get better soon! It sucks that all this crap is going around. Ugh.
Sending healthy vibes your way!
debra on 16 Feb 2008 at 1:39 am #
{{hugs}} And one more… {{hugs}}
Take care of yourself, sweetie.
Oh, what the hell. {{hugs}}
mayberry on 16 Feb 2008 at 2:25 am #
Lisa, I’m so sorry. So much pain and sadness. I do hope tomorrow is better, that you and Seth feel better, and that you see some light ahead very soon. You deserve it.
flutter on 16 Feb 2008 at 2:34 am #
Oh babe. ((you))
HollowSquirrel on 16 Feb 2008 at 3:08 am #
Let me join in the hug circle. You sounded so tired in your post. Just tired of how things have been going, or maybe I’m projecting my own tiredness from a very similar situation in our household. If you want to talk about things, send me your phone number and I’ll call (or vice versa, call me anytime). I’m there with you — with the disappointment and HOPE that he realizes that putting family first means coming home after 8 hours (or even 9 would be a frigging treat) and paying attention to his SON. Leaving the tv and computer off until after his boy goes to bed. Ugh. HUGS again. I love you, dear, and you deserve more support and respect and partnership.
MommyTime on 16 Feb 2008 at 4:57 am #
I am sending all the warm good vibes I have. I don’t have anything more profound to say. But perhaps that’s at least something small and good for now.
Suebob on 16 Feb 2008 at 5:39 am #
This is why I started blogging, too, because even though I was living with someone, I was so very lonely and lost. I wish I could give you a real hug.
I can’t explain men. I guess he must be assuming that you know he loves you because he works hard and provides for you…honestly I don’t think they give a moment’s thought to all we do for them. They just think clean socks come from thin air, I suppose.
I wish I could make it better somehow.
Heidi on 16 Feb 2008 at 12:01 pm #
Man, I wish I could make everything better for you. Even if he doesn’t understand, make sure that you’re taking care of your needs too, K?
Home is where the Mom is on 16 Feb 2008 at 4:22 pm #
I am so sorry. I cannot imagine how that is for you and your son. You have lasted about 8 1/2 years longer than I could have in that situation. Hugs, I sure hope it gets better, soon.
L.A. Daddy on 16 Feb 2008 at 7:58 pm #
That makes me sad. I’m sorry things aren’t the best for you. You deserve it.
Dana on 16 Feb 2008 at 8:40 pm #
If you need to chat you have several ways to reach me. I’m thinking another evening out is in order. You do a lot and you deserve a lot in return.
xoxoxoxoxo
Marriage-101 on 16 Feb 2008 at 11:22 pm #
I’m sorry things are so rough for you. I wish I had some magic cure to make it all better. You DO deserve better. Hopefully he’ll make a change before things get worse. ((hugs))
Ree on 16 Feb 2008 at 11:48 pm #
{{{hugs}}} Aw honey, I’m so sorry. You’re not asking too much, and if he’s not seeing how much it’s hurting you, he needs to wake up.
Can you get someone to take Seth for an evening and be waiting to have a heart-to-heart when he gets home some night? Sounds like maybe you need it.
Or, ignore the assvice, and just feel the hug. Sometimes, I know, that’s all you need.
Christina on 17 Feb 2008 at 3:55 am #
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I can feel the sadness just oozing from this post. I hope he does read this. Then maybe he’ll begin to understand your point of view and work to make some changes for the better.
What kind of work does he do that requires so much time away from home? I don’t understand why some dads think taking care of the kids is the mom’s job. I set ground rules from the beginning with my husband that children are the responsibility of both of us, and just because he works outside the home doesn’t mean he can come home and relax while I do everything. He has to pull his share at home, too - I may be home all day, but my work is no less important than his.
I hope you can find some way to get through to him and make him understand that you’re not happy with the way things are, and you don’t enjoy feeling that you’re nothing more than the maid and the babysitter to him. I always recommend counseling, only because my husband and I did it and it helped us tremendously.
MammaLoves on 17 Feb 2008 at 5:38 am #
I’m here…whenever.
Julie on 18 Feb 2008 at 1:44 am #
Sometimes I try to think about things like this in terms of what I’d tell someone else to so/say/etc. Like, it I were in your situation, I’d ask myself, “what would you tell someone else to do?” and then I’d do that. But honestly, I think this post helps me see that when actually presented with someone else’s pain, frustration, and crappy situation, it’s not so clear and easy and black and white as I tell myself it is. I wish I knew what to say. How about just this: you don’t bore me. I wish I could help.
Rebecca on 18 Feb 2008 at 9:28 pm #
Want another *hug*? Cause I’ve got plenty of them for you. I second Dana: you do deserve a lot in return. And an evening out would be in order.
Susan on 19 Feb 2008 at 10:11 pm #
I hear you on so many levels. I’ve dealt with that kind of shit at various times in my almost 17 years of marriage. Let me just recommend to keep talking to him about it otherwise it’s just going to fester inside you and that’s not good. (((HUGS)))
Candid on 21 Feb 2008 at 10:16 pm #
I have been where you are and I feel for you very much.
It sounds like you’re working it out…..but this post ’bout made me cry, too.
Hugs from Oklahoma,
CY