Slouchy McSloucherson
“You’re getting a hunchback. I think you’ve got osteoporosis*,” a certain person** tells me. In fact, almost every time I see her these past few months, she expresses concern in regards to my rounding back.
I’d like to scream. But instead I say politely, “Well, that’s just the way I stand.”
No one has ever made an issue of my posture until now. And for the record, no one has ever had to. I’m painfully aware of my rounded shoulders and stance. I see it in the mirror, in photos, and even in video.
Over the years I’ve tried in earnest to correct this problem. But after as little as 10 minutes of standing perfectly straight, my back and shoulders begin to ache. I start to feel as if I can’t draw a deep breath. My neck and even the base of my skull start to throb. Frankly, standing straight is very uncomfortable. And when I’m physically tired or feel emotionally beaten, I slump over even more. Although back and stomach exercises help, it doesn’t entirely remedy the pose. So over the past few years, I stopped trying. I pour my energy into something I deem far more constructive and simply cease to entertain any more posture-producing notions.
What this person doesn’t realize is, that each time she mentions this issue, she’s verbally sticking a knife into a wound that has never completely healed. I was a very awkward child. I was uncoordinated, dorky-looking and wore obvious hand-me downs. My working-class parents were (and still are) very high strung, strict people. I was painfully shy, socially awkward and equally as anxiety-riddled as they. I had no sense of self-worth. I was an easy target for put downs, insults and pranks from other girls AND boys. If I wasn’t getting picked on in class, it was coming from some other kid in a grade above me. If it wasn’t during class, it was happening at lunch, recess, standing in line for the bus or while riding the bus. Between myself and a good friend, (who I’m still friends with today) we were the “social rejects” of our class. I was constantly reminded of my family’s economical/social standing. We were, (gasp!) “have-nots” in a room full of “haves.” Most of those “haves” never let me forget that. (My sister had the same issues with the kids at our school.)
By fifth grade, I started slouching. Looking back it was a subconscious attempt to remain as invisible as possible. If I didn’t attract any attention, maybe no one would see me. If no one saw me, maybe I could get by without being made fun of? I think it did work to some extent. But it was also just one more thing that could be used against me by my peers as I got into junior high.
I went on to attend a public high school filled with other (gasp!) working class kids. Most of us had after school/weekend jobs. Most of us stressed over how we’d pay for college. The kids with the closet full of designer clothes were the ones that seemed out of place. High school was one of the happiest times of my life – I had friends who valued me for who I was. (I feel so lucky and proud to know them.)
High school, college, and early adulthood quickly passed. But I never have been able to shake the slouch. I can still remember quite vividly the teasing and tormenting. I am still a very shy person at heart. The thought of strangers noticing me fills me with dread. I still aspire to be invisible when out in public. And so I still slouch. But frankly? It works.
I know poor posture looks bad and can convey a negative first impression. But I’d like to think at this point in my life, people are able to see beyond something so superfluous. I’d like to think they notice my smile or value my sincerity more so than how erect I stand. I’m not an “improvement project”. I’m a person. I am who I am. If I’m ok with the way I stand, why can’t this person accept that?
If I’m going to commit to enchancing anything it would be to better my marriage, writing skills or character. And that way of thinking isn’t going to change anytime soon.
*I don’t have osteoporosis.
**Person is related to me but not by blood.






mrsmogul on 25 Feb 2008 at 3:37 am #
My MIL is nice but she is very paranoid and always says things that are inappropriate to me. I always hold my breath but sometimes she thinks she knows it all. It’s really oversteps our boundary sometimes.
flutter on 25 Feb 2008 at 6:56 am #
*ahem*
Slouching does not cause osteoporosis. Osteoporosis is comprised of millions of tiny fractures, and causes slouching.
[/end rant]
Lisa on 25 Feb 2008 at 1:43 pm #
I hope it wasn’t your husband! Sounds like something a MIL would say.
Ree on 25 Feb 2008 at 3:11 pm #
I’m the same way, but started slouching when I was so obviously the tallest girl in school. I see it in myself. I try to sit up with a straight back, but y’know, it just doesn’t work.
And this person that you’re related to, but not by blood? Needs to take a nice pill.
Alexandra on 25 Feb 2008 at 3:25 pm #
You go girl! You’ve come a long way, baby!
Alex Elliot on 25 Feb 2008 at 4:03 pm #
I’m guessing it’s either your mother or your MIL. I was trying to think of the last time I saw someone slouching as I was reading your post. I couldn’t remember. The reason I can’t remember is because I don’t think it’s something that I would honestly pay attention to. I’m more concerned with what that person is saying and doing and if I’m enjoying being around them. On a really bad day, it’s trying to control myself from giving them the finger. I’m a sloucher too from years of haven’t gigantic boobs. I figured if I hunched over, they wouldn’t be as visible.
Heidi on 25 Feb 2008 at 6:52 pm #
You should show her this post. Seriously.
Heidi
Alissa on 25 Feb 2008 at 7:49 pm #
I’m glad you can see your own self worth. And I hope you’re able to overlook the obvious insensitivity of this person. ((hugs)) from one insecure person to another.
becky on 25 Feb 2008 at 8:53 pm #
how horrible and annoying! esp when its someone thats SUPPOSED to be family. sorry woman. tha tblows. i can relate…we were the kids that wore thrift store clothes because my mom was putting all her cash into keeping us in private school. i used to get made fun of. it sucked
Suebob on 25 Feb 2008 at 11:25 pm #
I just don’t know if people realize how much criticism hurts. There is a reason that Miss Manners says “The first rule of manners is that adults do not correct other adults’ behavior.”
I had this issue (not slouching, but constant criticism) with a Person Who Is No Longer In My Life. I am still recovering from it a year later. I can still hear that voice of disapproval.
At first I tried to change, but there were always new things wrong with me to pick on. So I got angry and rebellious and not only refused to change, I started trying to make things worse - then I got out.
You might try being honest, saying “It makes me feel so self-conscious and awful when you say that to me,” and see what happens.
I think you are a total rockstar, BTW. Pretty, smart AND talented.
Mrs. G. on 26 Feb 2008 at 12:07 am #
As a fellow sloucher, I’m with you. I’ve been to yoga classes and,occasionally, think to sit up straight. That’s about as good as good as it’s going to get.
MommyTime on 26 Feb 2008 at 3:10 am #
Good for you for refusing to let this person get you down. You are totally right that there are more important things to notice, much more vital things to use as a measuring stick by which to define a person. So. Whether or not you choose to confront her on this, know within yourself that you are strong and wonderful. And that’s what really counts.
Sugared Harpy on 26 Feb 2008 at 4:12 pm #
After seeing a chiropractor for chronic neck and shoulder pain, I learned via xray there were REASONS why I can’t stand or sit up straight without pain.
My vertebrae were all wonky right where I slouched up to my head.
christina_the_wench on 26 Feb 2008 at 4:39 pm #
Oh cripe, sweetie. This person needs to get a life and leave you alone. What’s her name and where does she live? I’ll take of this for you.
*evil grin*
Mrs. Who on 26 Feb 2008 at 9:57 pm #
Thanks for your comment on my blog - I appreciate it! And about this post - it constantly amazes me how rude people can be. Although I have to say, the older my mom gets, the worse she is about saying things that really hurt everyone’s feelings. And she is totally amazed when someone is hurt! I guess part of it is aging. That I can forgive. But some people are just idiots!
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah on 26 Feb 2008 at 10:38 pm #
As someone who was 5′ 8″ in the 7th grade, I can relate to having good reasons for crappy posture.
My husband reminds me to stand up straight. I know he does it to be nice, but it pisses me off every time.
Average Jane on 26 Feb 2008 at 10:53 pm #
My mother used to be big on “posture coaching” when my sister and I were growing up. She’d just get right to the point and bellow, “Knockers up!” when we slouched. I also recall walking around balancing a book on my head.
Years of working on a computer all day, every day have returned me to my hunched-over position of yore. I don’t think there’s enough time in my week to take enough yoga to fix that now.
Suelle on 27 Feb 2008 at 12:41 am #
I know exactly what you’re talking about! I’m the same way, I sit up straight only occasionally (right now I’m not!) & hear my mother’s voice in my head constantly saying, “Hold your stomach in! Keep your head up! Put your shoulders back!” Yeah, my childhood was fun.
And by the way, 5th grade sucked for me too!
Dana on 27 Feb 2008 at 4:17 am #
It sucks when people meddle and say things that can hurt others. I think it’s a big step forward that you blogged this and told us how you felt. I think it’s important to ignore what this person says, or politely tell her to back off.
And I think fifth grade was awful for me, too. And sixth grade. Hell, all of junior high sucked for me!
Dana on 27 Feb 2008 at 4:50 am #
Let me know who they are; I can sneeze on them and give them my plague.
I slouch because I’m lazy and I don’t care if I look like I have the posture of a cocktail shrimp. Chris is always “you’re slouching” and I’m always “what a great way to not get laid.”
I love you just as you are.
slackermommy on 27 Feb 2008 at 4:51 am #
Oh girl, I wish you could see just how beautiful you are. Next time she mentions it I recommend that you tell her that you appreciate her concern but that you are aware and have accepted your slouch and you wish she would too.
HollowSquirrel on 27 Feb 2008 at 2:12 pm #
HUGS to you, pretty lady. I’m impressed you haven’t snapped back something fierce like “and if I had your warts and overall sense of ugly, I’d be a witch!” But maybe I’m just bitter for and defensive of you.
Liz on 27 Feb 2008 at 2:31 pm #
What an AWESOME post, Lisa. I wasn’t surprised that I found myself nodding my head, all through it. Since, having the pleasure of your company at BlogCon’07, you are so easy to hang with and I didn’t even notice your slouching. Maybe, because I’m nearly 6 foot bazillion and people typically strain their necks, looking up ;o)
Don’t let anyone tell you any different - you are one tough cookie, lady!
PunditMom on 27 Feb 2008 at 2:38 pm #
You made me sit up straight as I was reading this!
quinn on 27 Feb 2008 at 3:29 pm #
People really are funny, aren’t they, when they think they’re being “helpful?” One of my legs is shorter than the other and it does funny things to my gait. On particularly tough days the difference is especially obvious- I still end up getting all self-conscious and cranky whenever anyone says “WHY ARE YOU LIMPING?” or “Wow, your back’s really messed up, isn’t it?” Um, yeah, thanks for pointing that out, just call me gimpy
Heather on 27 Feb 2008 at 3:51 pm #
Thanks for stopping by my blog. It’s fun to find someone so close to home. Sometimes I forget what lasting impressions the experiences (good and bad) of adolescence can have on our adult lives. Thanks for the reminder. I will try to keep that in mind when raising my boys so that their impressions help them stand tall in adulthood.
Andrea on 27 Feb 2008 at 7:54 pm #
I remember the exact same kind of peer situation you dealt with as being in my childhood. Only my slouching problem could be attributed to a rather ample chest that didn’t stop growing when I would have liked it to. So I was considered a “have way too much” when it wasn’t exactly the kind of “have” one normally desired to have. So I slouched to avoid the boobage from reaching it’s “full” potential. When I had a reduction in my early twenties, I didn’t feel the physical pull to slouch anymore, but the emotional need was there, despite the fact that the peer issues were mostly gone.
But I totally see where you’re coming from with this, and with your frustration over the relative who will not let it die. Possibly you could show them this post? Or give a summary of what you said here? Maybe just by mentioning to them that there are more important things, and even reasons behind your slouch that they dredge up every time they critique your posture, they’ll realize that it shouldn’t be their concern and to keep harping on it is really overstepping their bounds.
jaelithe on 28 Feb 2008 at 10:41 pm #
You just reminded me to sit up straight in my chair.
I had never analyzed my own slouching habit the same way that you have, but, I wonder if I do it for the same reasons? I was awkward, poor, and stuck in hand-me-downs when I was growing up, too (never a good combination if you want to avoid being bullied, especially if, right when you enter puberty, you suddenly find yourself on scholarship to the best private school in town).
Dang it, we should both stand up straight, Lisa. But not because some jerk is telling you to.
Linda on 29 Feb 2008 at 1:02 pm #
Painfully shy, socially awkward and anxiety-riddled? Me too!
I love your insight about trying to be invisible so you wouldn’t be picked on — I think that also nails what I’ve done for so long after all the teasing I endured as a kid. Trouble was, it worked only too well — I was such a “good listener,” so compliant, and so quiet that people began to claim my words as their own (in front of me!) and leave me out of things because I had never registered with them as an individual.
My overeating was another way I kept myself invisible (and numb).
It is great that blogging is there for people like us to finally burst out of our shells and become visible — first to ourselves, and then to the wider world! Blogging as emotional healing — what a fabulous concept.
About the slouching: My mom used to be at me about my posture (”put your shoulders back”), but it never worked. Frankly, I’m more concerned with my efforts to stand straight and tall emotionally, rather than physically.
And your critic (Crabby McCrabberson!) is so way out of line. I can’t help feeling that many people like that just dish the dirt to avoid dealing with their own stuff.
Powerful post! Congrats to you for all the lessons you’ve learned the hard way — look how far you’ve come!
Carrie on 01 Mar 2008 at 4:04 am #
Certain people I am related to told me, while they were standing in the hall and I was giving birth to another baby for her to ignore, that I sounded like Free Willy when Wyatt was being born!
I’m sorry, you try pushing a 9.8lb baby out without making a single noise…
They need to know when to hold their tongues. I only hope that by her bad example, I will be better at it when it’s my turn. You will too, friend!