Because standing up to pee is a privilege
Disclaimer: This is a gross story. And frankly, it is in terrible taste. But this is what comes with raising a boy — or at least one with the genetics of Seth’s kind – so proceed with caution.
Five days ago, I cleaned all three bathrooms, scrubbing sinks, toilets, tubs and floors. Two days later, while passing by “the boy’s” bathroom, I smelled a strong unpleasant odor. I moved the wastebasket next to the toilet and found a BIG puddle of pee.
Did you know that as urine begins to dry, the outsides of the puddle crystalize, yet the inside portion takes on a whole other property? (Most moms with boys know this.) It is nasty, nasty, nasty! Yeah, I didn’t know that until I had a little boy with really BAD aim.
There was also a puddle behind the tank of the toilet and a small amount in front of the bowl. I was PISSED. (Pun intended.)
The lack of trying within the “aiming department” is nothing new. I’ve kvetched, cajoled, and have gotten incredibly cranky before. He’s even had to clean up some of the mess a few times but that didn’t seem to bother him. Once I even told him I was going to start charging him a $1 to clean up the really nasty spills. (He gets an allowance now for certain chores.). Forking over a buck didn’t bother him in the least.
So this time?
“Peeing while standing up is a privilege. And you just lost it for a week,” I said. “From now on, if you’ve got to go, you SIT on the toilet – LIKE A GIRL!”
A look of horror and dread filled his face. I watched the notion sink in. The idea tortured his manly little soul.
“NNNNNooooooooooooooo,” he screamed desperately. “I’ll do better next time! I promise!”
”Pfft. I’ve heard that before,” I retorted. “I’m tired of cleaning up your messes. Its disgusting. You’ve got to pay more attention to your aim. If you can’t do that, you’ve got to sit down.”
Its been three days. Each day he asks, several times, when his “privilege” will be restored. While he IS sitting down, he still ends up “spraying” some odd places. That’s not helping his cause. I think I might tack on some extra days to his “sentence.” I hope with all my heart that someday he fathers four boys who can’t aim worth a damn and HE’s the one with bathroom duty.
Just wait child. Karma! That’s all I’ve got say.
On another note, how do the rest of you moms nip this behavior in the bud?
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By Jill, March 7, 2008 @ 9:14 pm
I make ‘em drop to the floor and clean it up themselves. Scrubbing toilets does a lot for the ability to aim.
By Tuesday, March 7, 2008 @ 9:21 pm
my son is a lazy pee-er as well and I am always cleaning the floor arounf the toilet. My daughter doesn’t flush, she is too busy to remember such things.
Sometimes I think it was easier when they were in diapers!
By Pattie, March 7, 2008 @ 9:29 pm
Lisa,
I’ve been through this with my son, too when he was younger. If it makes you feel any better, he will outgrow it!
My pediatrician suggested to me to keep a small bowl of Cheerios in the bathroom. Have Seth throw one in the toilet and practice aiming at the Cheerio. It sounds crazy, but I can tell you it works!
By abunslife, March 7, 2008 @ 9:59 pm
I am so thankful we DON’T have this issue. Sure there are a few dribbles here and there but J has a powerful stream, he doesn’t even hold his “dinger” his hands just go to his hips and there it goes, into the toilet. A neighbor actually had to have her hardwood floor replaced because her sons (3) had done so much damage in their powder room……good grief. I’m sorry….but I had to laugh that you were making him go sitting down. Didn’t it just come out the sides anyway? Other than making him wipe up every single time, what else can you do? You shouldn’t have to do it each time. YUCK!
By Candid, March 7, 2008 @ 10:08 pm
I put Cheerio’s in a cup on top of the toilet and tell him to put one in before he goes and keep aiming for the cheerio’s.
It’s a video game of sorts. He plays pretty well, for the most part.
LOL…you post hits home. I’ve got one messy boy and one girl who manages GLOBS of toothpaste in the sink when she brushes. URGH.
By jaelithe, March 7, 2008 @ 10:12 pm
“Like a GIRL!” Horror of horrors. Heh.
I don’t have any advice since my boy is still so small he pretty much has to sit down when he goes. Also, he is generally adverse to making messes, so he has really absorbed my “Point it down!” advice.
But I will be watching this space carefully for tips in case I need them six months or a year from now.
By snowberrylane, March 7, 2008 @ 10:38 pm
I have no advice but I shared a bathroom with my younger brother and he has NEVER figured this one out. It was always gross. I’m pretty sure I’m going to have girls bathroom and a boys bathroom when I have a house. And a maid. And maybe my dreams will come true.
By Stimey, March 7, 2008 @ 11:54 pm
No advice, because I regularly find pee everywhere. And one of my bathroom often smells bad. Yuck.
By Alissa, March 8, 2008 @ 12:13 am
Cheerios. A bowl of Cheerios lives on the toilet tank. They toss one or two in each time they go and aim for it. Works like a charm.
By Ree, March 8, 2008 @ 12:15 am
Have him stand close enough to put his penis IN the bowl?
By MommyTime, March 8, 2008 @ 12:44 am
This is a completely brilliant tactic, and I will file it away in case I need it soon. I like the Cheerio one too. My biggest fear is that Daughter will want to try and stand like her big brother. Hopefully if she does, it will be short-lived, as it obviously doesn’t work at all. Then again, it apparently doesn’t work for some boys either. -sigh- The things we do. Good luck!
By flutter, March 8, 2008 @ 4:08 am
I would so be making him clean that mess himself!
By Sandra, March 8, 2008 @ 1:48 pm
Ohhhhh how I get this!
AND my guy doesn’t lift up the seat either so his sprays and residue (ew) end up where I sit.
We just rely on loads of naggy reminders and ya, that’s not working. Peeing like a girl sentence just might though ….
By Jodie, March 8, 2008 @ 2:41 pm
I used the cheerio too, he loved the aim challenge. But when he was about 8 I switched to you pee on the floor …. you clean the floor. He HATES that.
By Amber, March 8, 2008 @ 5:12 pm
I dread that phase because I honestly have no idea how to deal with it. We brought out the potty seat for 20-month-old Bode and I asked my husband, How do we point “it” down inside the toilet? Still trying to figure that one out….
By slouching mom, March 8, 2008 @ 10:28 pm
Oh, my goodness. I have SO BEEN THERE. I knew exactly what you meant when you described what it’s like to clean it up.
The Cheerios idea is a good one, I think.
By Linda, March 9, 2008 @ 7:12 am
I’ve never tried this , but it seems like a good idea!
By ~JJ! (Janet), March 9, 2008 @ 2:27 pm
Great consequence for peeing on the floor…I may try that with my husband.
By Marriage-101, March 9, 2008 @ 8:42 pm
Wow, I would’ve never thought to do that! Mental note, so that 5 years from now, I can use this.
By Alex Elliot, March 10, 2008 @ 12:34 am
I wish I had some advice to offer. I was complaining this evening to my husband and sons that one of our bathrooms smells like a urinal.
By nap warden, March 10, 2008 @ 3:56 am
Oh this post scares me…I don’t look forward to this at all:(
By Heidi, March 10, 2008 @ 8:39 am
I have the exact same problem. It’s awful. I have no suggestions, except the sitting down thing….but that also causes issues, as you mentioned. Why oh why can they not learn to AIM???
Gah!
Heidi
By Kristin, March 10, 2008 @ 3:29 pm
I have issues about food in the toilet… I know it’s been really successful for lots of people, but the idea of Cheeri*os in the toilet really squicks me out…
My suggestion is to put a container of those Cl*rox bathroom wipes on top of the tank and after every pee, have him grab one and give the area a quick wipe down… maybe having to tidy up will encourage better aim!
Good luck!
By slackermommy, March 10, 2008 @ 4:46 pm
I’m still struggling with Connor and this issue. He has improved though. It’s been a good couple of months since he’s sprayed the wall. A little shame does seem to go a long way. When I see him head to the bathroom I go in with him to remind him to aim in the toilet. He HATES when I watch him pee!
By christina_the_wench, March 10, 2008 @ 5:25 pm
OMG I am so glad I have girls now. THANK YOU! *giggles*
By Jenn, March 10, 2008 @ 5:50 pm
Oh, thank goodness for girls! Although, we have a different pee problem. Somehow, I’m not quite sure how she manages it, the littlest one gets pee UNDER the toilet seat. It’s quite gross to lift that lid to clean and get a palmful of sticky, drying piss. Stinky stinky stinky.
By Rebecca, March 10, 2008 @ 6:49 pm
I was going to recommend the Cheerios game as well. . . but since others have already done that, I’ll just join Jaelithe in laughing at your “like a GIRL” hehehe
By Susan, March 10, 2008 @ 7:06 pm
*groan* When I first started reading this I was thinking, make the boy sit on the toilet like a girl. Mind you I don’t have a little boy but I do have a big boy (my husband) who out of sheer laziness sits when he pees. He used to have a good excuse - one bathroom and a nosy, wee daughter in the bathtub = him tucking it in so she couldn’t see it. He doesn’t have that excuse anymore so it’s laziness. Hopefully, your little boy’s punishment of having to pee like a girl, sinks in and those days of scrubbing up the stinky puddles are soon to be over.
By Julie, March 10, 2008 @ 10:50 pm
I’m not there yet with my kiddo (not that I think I’ll be immune when the time comes) but I know my mo would have made me clean it up myself. Not, like, before bed or anything like that because I would have happily just put it off, but before I could do something desirable like eat my afternoon snack or something. That would have gotten me.
If I were a boy. With bad aim.
By becky, March 12, 2008 @ 2:53 pm
omg i can’t even imagine. i dont have that problem with hannah but if i have a boy ever i’ll be bitching to you about it!
By GrimRealityGirl, March 15, 2008 @ 3:11 pm
I trained my boy to sit like a girl for the early stages and luckily he had not hung out to see Daddy pee standing. This got us through the early most dangerous time. Then it was the old “Oh, you want to stand and do that? Okay, but you have to make sure it all goes in the water or it will be back to the sitting way.” The next stage was “Hey, can you come here a minute? There is something you need to clean.” This came after any minor spray. The good news is that I had one boy and this worked. Now if I can just get my girl to flush!!!!!
By o, March 28, 2008 @ 5:27 am
Wow, way to mentally scar your child. Standing up is a right, not a privilege, and by forcing him to sit you’re not teaching him anything, you’re just making him act feminine.
If there’s a mess, don’t bitching about it and give him some twisted punishment, instead act like an adult.
By Grossed Out, April 3, 2008 @ 9:12 pm
My son has done the same thing. I have spoken to him calmly. He didn’t care. Now, I yell and scream at him. He still doesn’t care.
I take his stuff away. That hurts a little. I also now am giving him the silent treatment for a short period of time.
Agh. Disgusting.
By Tired of the mess, May 13, 2008 @ 3:22 pm
I have two sons and another son on the way. Both boys now sit because I got tired of the whole pee on the floor routine. I explained to them the can pee standing up at school or where ever, but not it my house. Now my husband has no one to blame but himself. I got up this morning to see another puddle of pee around the toilet! Yes, not in it but around it! I threatened my husband if he doesn’t have the consideration to sit down and pee I may make him into a girl and he won’t have a choice. I would hate to use the cheerio thing with a grown man. LOL. Totally disgusting.
By scott, August 16, 2008 @ 4:02 pm
In my house this will never happen. I find the method of making a boy sit while peeing absolutely retarded. If my wife tried that crap with my boy she would be out the door.
By RUkiddingme, August 21, 2008 @ 2:21 pm
What am I suppose to do about my husband’s bad aim. I have asked him to sit down but he refuses. It is so disgusting.
By scott, August 23, 2008 @ 1:35 pm
This entire blog is disgusting and is advacating the tramatizing of children. This is the next phase of the demasculization of the male gender. It started with poisioning our children with ADD medication. The fact that you woman do this to your children is abusive and should be reported to the authorities.
By Ali, August 24, 2008 @ 2:00 pm
What a topic you guys are discussing about, sitting or standing to pee! So let me tell you some thing then, not bad if you know that in my culture the male people avoid peeing while standing! In my country it’s so, as my religion has recommended not to pee while standing, and to do it while sitting or squatting. I know there, they teach the kid when he can stand up, how to pee while standing, but it’s not so here. However, I am male and quite healthy, but I don’t pee while standing. You should consider that there are many different ways and theologies around the world.
To my own, peeing while standing is a nasty actions, also it does not feet a man’s character, that’s like you imagine a respectable man standing up still some where, his penis is out and his piss line in front of him! Who made the rule that males MUST stand up while urinating? And don’t relate it to the nature, potentially many things are natural as an ability; one can bring it out (gun), aim and kill, but he has choosing power, although he has the ability, but he may not do it if he is sane; one can just bring it out, aim and piss, but does it mean he can not do it in a way but that?
Why stand to pee? Why aim? Aiming is for the time when you are distant to your target and can’t be close to it, but when you can be close to it, and if you are sane, you prefer being close to your target than aiming to the target. So sit down and be relax, the name of the place you are doing that in, is rest room! And why you waste your time and energy in cleaning bathrooms? You can save it for more useful affairs by reducing the need of bathroom to be cleaned!
As for those who say “peeing while standing is of a few pleasures of a man!”, I should say that a man is more valuable than way of peeing places as his pleasure and property! It does not fit a man to consider that as his worth! Men have more valuable special abilities to be mentioned! And as for those who say “peeing while standing is much easier than doing it while sitting or squatting”, I should say that bending over and pulling down pants, and keeping a part of panties down for a while and aim for a while both need an attempt; and the fact that which one is easier for a person depends on habit. The way in which one’s habit is based on, is easier for that one, and to which you habit, it will be easier for you! As God has made the ability of peeing while standing easily in guys, it must have an advantage, and yes it has. In men’s jobs some times urgent situations happen, and some times they have to do some thing in a short time when the speed is important, and some times men have situations that they can’t sit or squat or are in places where sitting or squatting is not easily possible; in such times they can use their ability of peeing while standing easily. But these urgent times just some times happen, not always! So I think there should be a project for men to stop, or to say better, manage peeing while standing. One group are already doing that and their site is: http://www.mapsu.org . As I mentioned, there are some occations when it’s needed to pee standing up, then it happens for both men and women! So what should women do? So easy, they can instantly pee standing up using a small device, one is here: http://www.travelmateinfo.com/page002.html .
However, it will be great if the current way of peeing of guys in toilets and bathrooms, in the most parts of the world changes.
By scott, August 26, 2008 @ 5:23 pm
pffft you have got to be kidding me….what a freak.
By D.L., September 22, 2008 @ 2:37 pm
You seem to get a lot of vicious enjoyment out of emasculating your son. What’s next? You gonna make him wear a dress?
I hope your little victory is worth the damage you’re doing to his psyche.
By PJ, January 8, 2009 @ 12:04 am
We put a bucket outside. Every time he misses, he has to clean up his mess and next time he has to pee outside. We live in a small rural town, so nobody can see him. But he still continues to miss. The cheerio thing didn’t work. He’s 8 and has been potty trained since age 2. I’ll be trying the sitting like a girl. I need to replace my floor, but I can’t till the peeing on the floor stops. I’ve already replaced my metal raditor cover and it needs replacing again.
By Jill, January 14, 2009 @ 6:35 pm
Oh do quit bitchin. Your women. Cleaning is your job. If the kid pisses on the kitchen table u just shut up and clean it up like the good domesticated slave (aka woman) you are!
By susan h, April 2, 2009 @ 2:46 am
My mother-in law made her sons sit at home. Not only did it not ‘emasculate’ them, my hubby prefers it, and I ,naturally am quite content that our one bathroom stays sanitary
By Rachel, August 23, 2009 @ 7:40 pm
your all fuckin dumb sluts. men should piss in women’s mouth because they are only worth being our fucking toilets to shit and piss in. shut up you fucking cunts.
By STP, January 28, 2010 @ 5:43 am
The bad “male posts” at the end of this blog are a result of forcibly “peeing” like a girl as you put it. You think your solution is reasonable or drastic action must be taken which happens to be how men relate to their significant others when they want someone to listen. The point I’m making…….women are no better than men at parenting………..you just happen to be there more often.
By TicklemeElmo, May 23, 2010 @ 9:11 pm
Oh for fucks sake. You women think you are so high and mighty. Look at domestic violence. Who’s getting the shit beat out of them all the time? Smartass whores like you lot. Forcing your boy to sit to piss? fuck me if that little bastard won’t grow up to resent women and in turn treat them like punching bags. Ever think if you’d just clean the shit up and shut up your kids would like you more? Dumb sluts…
By Ally, July 18, 2010 @ 10:25 am
All these men claiming that you’re ‘emasculating’ him! LOL!!!! If he can’t aim he NEEDS to be emasculated. All boys should sit to pee AND point their wieners at the water. Problem is then solved.
By TicklemeElmo, January 6, 2011 @ 12:28 pm
Or maybe you shouldn’t emasculate him, and go hold it for him and show him how to aim Ally. Instead of being an estrogen filled whore trying to be a righteous bitch.
By viliavork, January 4, 2012 @ 8:28 pm