Because standing up to pee is a privilege
Disclaimer: This is a gross story. And frankly, it is in terrible taste. But this is what comes with raising a boy — or at least one with the genetics of Seth’s kind – so proceed with caution.
Five days ago, I cleaned all three bathrooms, scrubbing sinks, toilets, tubs and floors. Two days later, while passing by “the boy’s” bathroom, I smelled a strong unpleasant odor. I moved the wastebasket next to the toilet and found a BIG puddle of pee.
Did you know that as urine begins to dry, the outsides of the puddle crystalize, yet the inside portion takes on a whole other property? (Most moms with boys know this.) It is nasty, nasty, nasty! Yeah, I didn’t know that until I had a little boy with really BAD aim.
There was also a puddle behind the tank of the toilet and a small amount in front of the bowl. I was PISSED. (Pun intended.)
The lack of trying within the “aiming department” is nothing new. I’ve kvetched, cajoled, and have gotten incredibly cranky before. He’s even had to clean up some of the mess a few times but that didn’t seem to bother him. Once I even told him I was going to start charging him a $1 to clean up the really nasty spills. (He gets an allowance now for certain chores.). Forking over a buck didn’t bother him in the least.
So this time?
“Peeing while standing up is a privilege. And you just lost it for a week,” I said. “From now on, if you’ve got to go, you SIT on the toilet – LIKE A GIRL!”
A look of horror and dread filled his face. I watched the notion sink in. The idea tortured his manly little soul.
“NNNNNooooooooooooooo,” he screamed desperately. “I’ll do better next time! I promise!”
”Pfft. I’ve heard that before,” I retorted. “I’m tired of cleaning up your messes. Its disgusting. You’ve got to pay more attention to your aim. If you can’t do that, you’ve got to sit down.”
Its been three days. Each day he asks, several times, when his “privilege” will be restored. While he IS sitting down, he still ends up “spraying” some odd places. That’s not helping his cause. I think I might tack on some extra days to his “sentence.” I hope with all my heart that someday he fathers four boys who can’t aim worth a damn and HE’s the one with bathroom duty.
Just wait child. Karma! That’s all I’ve got say.
On another note, how do the rest of you moms nip this behavior in the bud?
Jill on 07 Mar 2008 at 9:14 pm #
I make ‘em drop to the floor and clean it up themselves. Scrubbing toilets does a lot for the ability to aim.
Tuesday on 07 Mar 2008 at 9:21 pm #
my son is a lazy pee-er as well and I am always cleaning the floor arounf the toilet. My daughter doesn’t flush, she is too busy to remember such things.
Sometimes I think it was easier when they were in diapers!
Pattie on 07 Mar 2008 at 9:29 pm #
Lisa,
I’ve been through this with my son, too when he was younger. If it makes you feel any better, he will outgrow it!
My pediatrician suggested to me to keep a small bowl of Cheerios in the bathroom. Have Seth throw one in the toilet and practice aiming at the Cheerio. It sounds crazy, but I can tell you it works!
abunslife on 07 Mar 2008 at 9:59 pm #
I am so thankful we DON’T have this issue. Sure there are a few dribbles here and there but J has a powerful stream, he doesn’t even hold his “dinger” his hands just go to his hips and there it goes, into the toilet. A neighbor actually had to have her hardwood floor replaced because her sons (3) had done so much damage in their powder room……good grief. I’m sorry….but I had to laugh that you were making him go sitting down. Didn’t it just come out the sides anyway? Other than making him wipe up every single time, what else can you do? You shouldn’t have to do it each time. YUCK!
Candid on 07 Mar 2008 at 10:08 pm #
I put Cheerio’s in a cup on top of the toilet and tell him to put one in before he goes and keep aiming for the cheerio’s.
It’s a video game of sorts. He plays pretty well, for the most part.
LOL…you post hits home. I’ve got one messy boy and one girl who manages GLOBS of toothpaste in the sink when she brushes. URGH.
jaelithe on 07 Mar 2008 at 10:12 pm #
“Like a GIRL!” Horror of horrors. Heh.
I don’t have any advice since my boy is still so small he pretty much has to sit down when he goes. Also, he is generally adverse to making messes, so he has really absorbed my “Point it down!” advice.
But I will be watching this space carefully for tips in case I need them six months or a year from now.
snowberrylane on 07 Mar 2008 at 10:38 pm #
I have no advice but I shared a bathroom with my younger brother and he has NEVER figured this one out. It was always gross. I’m pretty sure I’m going to have girls bathroom and a boys bathroom when I have a house. And a maid. And maybe my dreams will come true.
Stimey on 07 Mar 2008 at 11:54 pm #
No advice, because I regularly find pee everywhere. And one of my bathroom often smells bad. Yuck.
Alissa on 08 Mar 2008 at 12:13 am #
Cheerios. A bowl of Cheerios lives on the toilet tank. They toss one or two in each time they go and aim for it. Works like a charm.
Ree on 08 Mar 2008 at 12:15 am #
Have him stand close enough to put his penis IN the bowl?
MommyTime on 08 Mar 2008 at 12:44 am #
This is a completely brilliant tactic, and I will file it away in case I need it soon. I like the Cheerio one too. My biggest fear is that Daughter will want to try and stand like her big brother. Hopefully if she does, it will be short-lived, as it obviously doesn’t work at all. Then again, it apparently doesn’t work for some boys either. -sigh- The things we do. Good luck!
flutter on 08 Mar 2008 at 4:08 am #
I would so be making him clean that mess himself!
Sandra on 08 Mar 2008 at 1:48 pm #
Ohhhhh how I get this!
AND my guy doesn’t lift up the seat either so his sprays and residue (ew) end up where I sit.
We just rely on loads of naggy reminders and ya, that’s not working. Peeing like a girl sentence just might though ….
Jodie on 08 Mar 2008 at 2:41 pm #
I used the cheerio too, he loved the aim challenge. But when he was about 8 I switched to you pee on the floor …. you clean the floor. He HATES that.
Amber on 08 Mar 2008 at 5:12 pm #
I dread that phase because I honestly have no idea how to deal with it. We brought out the potty seat for 20-month-old Bode and I asked my husband, How do we point “it” down inside the toilet? Still trying to figure that one out….
slouching mom on 08 Mar 2008 at 10:28 pm #
Oh, my goodness. I have SO BEEN THERE. I knew exactly what you meant when you described what it’s like to clean it up.
The Cheerios idea is a good one, I think.
Linda on 09 Mar 2008 at 7:12 am #
I’ve never tried this , but it seems like a good idea!
~JJ! (Janet) on 09 Mar 2008 at 2:27 pm #
Great consequence for peeing on the floor…I may try that with my husband.
Marriage-101 on 09 Mar 2008 at 8:42 pm #
Wow, I would’ve never thought to do that! Mental note, so that 5 years from now, I can use this.
Alex Elliot on 10 Mar 2008 at 12:34 am #
I wish I had some advice to offer. I was complaining this evening to my husband and sons that one of our bathrooms smells like a urinal.
nap warden on 10 Mar 2008 at 3:56 am #
Oh this post scares me…I don’t look forward to this at all:(
Heidi on 10 Mar 2008 at 8:39 am #
I have the exact same problem. It’s awful. I have no suggestions, except the sitting down thing….but that also causes issues, as you mentioned. Why oh why can they not learn to AIM???
Gah!
Heidi
Kristin on 10 Mar 2008 at 3:29 pm #
I have issues about food in the toilet… I know it’s been really successful for lots of people, but the idea of Cheeri*os in the toilet really squicks me out…
My suggestion is to put a container of those Cl*rox bathroom wipes on top of the tank and after every pee, have him grab one and give the area a quick wipe down… maybe having to tidy up will encourage better aim!
Good luck!
slackermommy on 10 Mar 2008 at 4:46 pm #
I’m still struggling with Connor and this issue. He has improved though. It’s been a good couple of months since he’s sprayed the wall. A little shame does seem to go a long way. When I see him head to the bathroom I go in with him to remind him to aim in the toilet. He HATES when I watch him pee!
christina_the_wench on 10 Mar 2008 at 5:25 pm #
OMG I am so glad I have girls now. THANK YOU! *giggles*
Jenn on 10 Mar 2008 at 5:50 pm #
Oh, thank goodness for girls! Although, we have a different pee problem. Somehow, I’m not quite sure how she manages it, the littlest one gets pee UNDER the toilet seat. It’s quite gross to lift that lid to clean and get a palmful of sticky, drying piss. Stinky stinky stinky.
Rebecca on 10 Mar 2008 at 6:49 pm #
I was going to recommend the Cheerios game as well. . . but since others have already done that, I’ll just join Jaelithe in laughing at your “like a GIRL” hehehe
Susan on 10 Mar 2008 at 7:06 pm #
*groan* When I first started reading this I was thinking, make the boy sit on the toilet like a girl. Mind you I don’t have a little boy but I do have a big boy (my husband) who out of sheer laziness sits when he pees. He used to have a good excuse - one bathroom and a nosy, wee daughter in the bathtub = him tucking it in so she couldn’t see it. He doesn’t have that excuse anymore so it’s laziness. Hopefully, your little boy’s punishment of having to pee like a girl, sinks in and those days of scrubbing up the stinky puddles are soon to be over.
Julie on 10 Mar 2008 at 10:50 pm #
I’m not there yet with my kiddo (not that I think I’ll be immune when the time comes) but I know my mo would have made me clean it up myself. Not, like, before bed or anything like that because I would have happily just put it off, but before I could do something desirable like eat my afternoon snack or something. That would have gotten me.
If I were a boy. With bad aim.
becky on 12 Mar 2008 at 2:53 pm #
omg i can’t even imagine. i dont have that problem with hannah but if i have a boy ever i’ll be bitching to you about it!
GrimRealityGirl on 15 Mar 2008 at 3:11 pm #
I trained my boy to sit like a girl for the early stages and luckily he had not hung out to see Daddy pee standing. This got us through the early most dangerous time. Then it was the old “Oh, you want to stand and do that? Okay, but you have to make sure it all goes in the water or it will be back to the sitting way.” The next stage was “Hey, can you come here a minute? There is something you need to clean.” This came after any minor spray. The good news is that I had one boy and this worked. Now if I can just get my girl to flush!!!!!
o on 28 Mar 2008 at 5:27 am #
Wow, way to mentally scar your child. Standing up is a right, not a privilege, and by forcing him to sit you’re not teaching him anything, you’re just making him act feminine.
If there’s a mess, don’t bitching about it and give him some twisted punishment, instead act like an adult.
Grossed Out on 03 Apr 2008 at 9:12 pm #
My son has done the same thing. I have spoken to him calmly. He didn’t care. Now, I yell and scream at him. He still doesn’t care.
I take his stuff away. That hurts a little. I also now am giving him the silent treatment for a short period of time.
Agh. Disgusting.
Tired of the mess on 13 May 2008 at 3:22 pm #
I have two sons and another son on the way. Both boys now sit because I got tired of the whole pee on the floor routine. I explained to them the can pee standing up at school or where ever, but not it my house. Now my husband has no one to blame but himself. I got up this morning to see another puddle of pee around the toilet! Yes, not in it but around it! I threatened my husband if he doesn’t have the consideration to sit down and pee I may make him into a girl and he won’t have a choice. I would hate to use the cheerio thing with a grown man. LOL. Totally disgusting.