The essence of Amanda
She’s not one to walk into a room. She sashays into a room. She owns the room.
People don’t just notice her — they are entranced by her.
She may be petite but she’s got this larger than life personality. Within the first minute of meeting her you can’t help but realize that she is a force of nature.
And when she dreams? Of course she dreams big. She was a track star in high school. She was a cheerleader for the Arizona Cardinals. She has been a lead singer for a number of popular bands in Arizona for more than 10 years. In fact, she’s performed throughout the United States and even abroad. THIS VIDEO is proof that she can not only pack a venue but whip the crowd into a state of fun and frenzy.
Honestly? I didn’t like her when I first met her during the (hubby’s family) Thanksgiving extravaganza of 1997. I felt incredibly threatened by her. Here was this outgoing, georgous woman with amazing hair, a perfect figure, and limitless talent standing within inches of me. I was overwhelmed by her confidence. I’d never met anyone like her. She had this amazing energy and charisma! She represented all the things I so desperately WANTED to be but wasn’t.
One day, I finally admitted to myself that I was insanely jealous of her. Being brutally honest with myself gave me clarity. I wasn’t just jealous of her appearance or accomplishments but of her ambition and attitude. Once I admitted that, I saw how much I could learn from her. I began to follow her career with great interest and excitement. Like the rest of Marc’s aunts, uncles, and cousins, I was cheering her on. I was very proud of her and envisioned the day I’d hear her voice on the radio.
And then she got cancer. She didn’t know it though. She brushed off symptoms because she didn’t have health insurance. Her symptoms became more prevalent over time. When she finally saw the doctor, in late 2005, she was told her cervical cancer was at a Stage 4. It had spread to her abdomen and lymph nodes.
She quit performing and underwent chemo, radiation and a few surgeries. She focused her energies on beating her cancer. She was fiercely determined to grace the stage again.
In mid-December of 2007, doctors told her there was nothing more they could do. They gave her a week to live. She was transferred to hospice. But she never gave up fighting. She, her parents, sister, fiance, extended family and friends never stopped hoping. They never stopped praying for a miracle.
She survived the week. She was even strong enough to move back into the home she shared with her fiance. She survived another week. She was able to attend Christmas festivities with her family. She survived the month. And then another. And then another. No matter how tired… No matter what disappointing news the doctors threw at her… She never stopped fighting. She never surrendered.
But today, on Easter Sunday, her body stopped working. She was 34.
My heart aches for Amanda, her parents, sister Ashley, fiance Gary, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends. I didn’t know her well but I’m grateful for our brief encounter. She had no idea of the precious gift she gave me. She’s a shining example on how to pursue one’s passion – and to live, as well as love, with everything you have. To me, that is the essence of Amanda Star.
As many people know cancer not only leaves a wake of heartbreak but also monumental medical expenses. Donations are greatly appreciated. Click on this site for more information.
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By flutter, March 24, 2008 @ 6:01 am
May she rest, gorgeous and whole.
By MommyTime, March 24, 2008 @ 1:36 pm
I am so sorry for your loss, and for the gap her leaving must create for your whole family. I send deep sympathy.
By mayberry, March 24, 2008 @ 2:11 pm
I’m so sorry, Lisa. What a big brave heart she must have had.
By Farrell, March 24, 2008 @ 3:47 pm
That is so incredibly tragic. Please accept my sympathies.
By Julie @ Letter9, March 24, 2008 @ 4:26 pm
My heart goes out to you and to Amanda and her family. So sorry for your loss.
By Ree, March 24, 2008 @ 4:42 pm
I’m so sorry for your family’s loss.
By amanda, March 24, 2008 @ 4:45 pm
I am so sorry. I’ll take this beautiful tribute and hold it with me, reminding me to lie each moment to its fullest. Amanda will make us all better moms, wives, lovers and people for the beauty and strength of spirit she so clearly had until her very last breath.
Thank you, Lisa.
By Alissa, March 24, 2008 @ 6:30 pm
((hugs)) for you and for all of her family. I’m certain she’s at peace now, and I hope you can be, too.
By candid, March 24, 2008 @ 7:44 pm
I’m so sorry Lisa. Sorry for everyone who lost her, and everyone she touched.
Hugs,
Annie
By Jenny, Bloggess, March 24, 2008 @ 7:49 pm
Oh sweetie. I’m so dang sorry.
By Susan, March 24, 2008 @ 9:06 pm
I’m so sorry for your families loss. She sounds like she was a very special person. (((HUGS)))
By andrea, March 24, 2008 @ 10:31 pm
How very sad. I am so sorry.
By Lisa, March 25, 2008 @ 12:24 pm
What a wonderful story. So sad. I am so sorry.
You are not have a good week!! =(
By Heather, March 25, 2008 @ 1:04 pm
I never knew Amanda, but feel the loss of her from your wonderful post. I’m so sorry for your family’s loss.
By Michelle DePew, March 25, 2008 @ 2:47 pm
Warm thoughts and prayers.
What a wonderful post, you captured her spirit and shared it with the rest of us.
So sorry for your loss.
By Arlene, March 25, 2008 @ 10:21 pm
Lisa,
I followed a link to your blog from Amanda’s site. Thank you for capturing so completely (as well as can be in words) the “Essence of Amanda”. She was an amazing woman and her legacy will live forever. One beautiful thing in particular I remember about her is the way she could make anyone feel when engaging them in a conversation. She’d look at you with her full attention, smiling when appropriate and if she had your hand in hers or touched you on the arm or shoulder, you could literally feel the electrical energy passing from her to you. I’m very sad about her leaving this world. Thankfully, she will NEVER be forgotten. She’s touched so many, and those whom she touched will forever be better for having known her.
By Daisy, March 26, 2008 @ 1:49 am
Cancer is so unfair. It takes those we love, and takes them much too soon. Heartfelt condolences to you and your family.
By Sugared Harpy, March 26, 2008 @ 5:46 pm
I am so very sorry. So utterly sorry for your loss and hers.
By VirtualSprite, March 26, 2008 @ 6:28 pm
Oh, Lisa. That is so sad. My sympathies.
By Carrie, March 27, 2008 @ 10:38 pm
My thoughts are with your entire family.
By Sarah, March 28, 2008 @ 1:16 am
Oh, Lisa. I am so sorry…
By Linda, March 28, 2008 @ 12:33 pm
What an amazing woman! After I read your beautiful post, I watched her music video and read about her on Amanda’s Place; her passion and spirit blazed through me even in those few minutes. I can only imagine the loss felt by all of you who knew and loved her for so long.
My deepest sympathies.
By Ruth Dynamite, April 20, 2008 @ 1:54 am
I’m so sorry, Lisa.
By repair denture, May 16, 2011 @ 7:50 am
I’m still learning from you, while I’m trying to achieve my goals. I certainly enjoy reading all that is written on your site.Keep the stories coming. I enjoyed it!..0