Comments on: His (and hers) homework meltdowns…

By: Daisy

Daisy — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 00:51:56 +0000

Related to another tangent on this post — have you gotten advice on strengthening his fingers and hands? Playdough, clay, stressballs, certain cushy pillows, and even silly putty are all really good for strengthening fingers. This eventually helps with handwriting and other fine motor skills. A lot of kids struggle with legible handwriting and (essential when it comes to place value in math) staying between the lines. Sometimes they simply need stronger fingers.

By: flybunny

flybunny — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 21:18:00 +0000

Agreeing with everyone else that this is totally normal but it is still frustrating even if it is normal. My middle child struggles with homework every.single.night without exception. It has caused more tears and fights in our house than I can count. We don’t make her do it and she faces consequences at school and you know sometimes that doesn’t even matter.

I am going to go out on a limb here (based on some of your previous postings about your love bunny) and suggest this book that is starting (we just got it and are starting to implement some of the techniques) to help us change the way we approach struggles with our daughter. The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child. I am in no way suggesting that Seth is defiant but I can attest that this book is a lifesaver for these types of situations and this book can really be applied to ANY child regardless of disposition. The author is Alan Kazdin who is the president of the American Psychological Association and it is hands down the best book I have ever read on parenting - and believe me I have a shelf full of parenting books to help me manage my beloved daughter.

Anyway, I hope things get better soon as I know how wearing they can be!

By: becky

becky — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 21:05:42 +0000

omg i cant tell you how much i can relate to this. me and matt both struggle with hannah and her PRESCHOOL homework. our main issue is that she’s so lazy and while she has the motor skills…she lacks the motivation. so we sit there and argue with her for the whole 30 mins of doing these worksheets because she too is singing…talking…chewing on her pencil. its so frustrating and i dread the future with her homework!

By: Dana

Dana — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 16:56:09 +0000

He’s totally normal. And a strong-willed child is something to value. Just means that he won’t be led so easily when he’s older.

I started Liam on cursive this year and he hated it at first. (I value the art of it, plus I think the extra effort helps his reading comprehension.) I put him in charge of things like writing the grocery lists (copying really, from my notes), placecards for holiday table settings, etc. It put an importance on his writing and helped motivate him to do it better. I had to hover over him too, at times in kindergarten. Stick with it. As per my experience homeschooling, there comes a struggle before the little lightbulb flicks on. It just takes repetition and patience, which can be difficult.

Also, second the motion that he should take responsibility for it. When Liam goofs around and doesn’t finish his Spanish homework, I make him go to class and face the music. Afterwards, I tell him that since he used up his homework time playing, he now has to use his play time to do his homework. Otherwise he’ll get another mark against him in class. Bummer. But it’s his responsibility. Part of teaching your child is to let him fail when HE chooses to do so. It’s the only way they learn to WANT to succeed. My 2c.

By: Farrell

Farrell — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 12:05:56 +0000

I don’t know; we’re not there yet and I’m not looking forward to it. Already, I call mine “Sophie the snail” sometimes because she can move. so. sloooowly. Always when I need to get out the dor NOW.
In middle school, my mom eventually made a house rule that my step-dad was no longer able to help me with homework because we would fight about it so much.
I don’t think we had homework when I was in kindergarten.

By: abunslife

abunslife — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 02:13:24 +0000

Jacob doesn’t not like to do his writing assignments AT ALL. Or anything to do with drawing or anything to do with fine motor skills at all now that I think about it….when he does do it, he only wants to write in upper case because that is what he feels the most comfortable with of course. He has the most difficult time with lower case a’s and r’s. Drives me nutso….we go over the same thing time and time and time again. But I will say it is amazing how motivated he is do it all and get it done when he can’t watch tv, or play the Wii until it is done. I’m worried about sticking with it over the summer. Hang in there. If spelling the innocent “potty” words will work, I say go for it, or see if spelling/writing Star Wars characters would interest him….anything just to get him to physically write. You are doing great!

By: Lisa

Lisa — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 23:52:31 +0000

I HEAR YOU!!! It is torture on some days. We all know if they would just sit and do it, it would be done so much faster but they never think that way.

Can I say, it has gotten a little easier lately for us? And his reading? That used to be the worst thing ever to sit through and now, nto so bad. But it will get worse again. You are not alone!! Frustrating.

But when he is giving his commencement speech, in 13 years he might say:

“Mom, I know I was a pain in the ass but I always remember you and I in the nook, when you were encouraging and praising my efforts.”

Someday. Thank God for short term memory!!

By: quinn

quinn — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 22:04:05 +0000

Woman, you (and all the other moms) have the patience of a saint. I’m thinking back to my deep, deep hatred with homework growing up, and wondering if I’d be able to sit through it all again! He’s lucky he has a mom who is so willing to help and encourage him- even if he might not appreciate it until he’s an adult

By: Andrea

Andrea — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 21:26:30 +0000

I don’t think any less of you. I bet a lot of parents feel that way.

Since mine isn’t in school yet, I don’t have any advice, but I’m definitely watching the conversation with interest.

By: Susan

Susan — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 21:03:37 +0000

Let me just say I totally empathize with you on the homework. Me and the kid would seriously butt heads over it and I’d become a screaming banshee. It was not good. I had to turn it all over to Dad because he for once was more patient than I at something which was a big shock.