Midwestern Mommy

I’m so sorry I haven’t been reading too many (if any) blogs lately. The last few weeks have been crazy. (Like the time I had five writing deadlines, made three trips to the doctor and one trip to the vet in the course of 5 days.) As I look at my day planner, I see things aren’t going to quiet down much for awhile. (Paying gigs take precedence.) I miss you all. I miss your stories and hearing what’s going on. Please don’t “write me off” yet. I haven’t forgotten about you all!  I’m trying the best I can!

The last few days our house has smelled funky. And I don’t mean that in a good, fun way. This foul odor filled our main floor and seemed to radiate within the kitchen/breakfast nook area. So I did what any other slackin’ yet harried mom does.

At first, I blamed the dog, ocassionally muttering swear words under my breath while shooting her dirty looks. (I would have blamed the hubby but he had been out of town.)

The dog had recently been to the vet. Steroids were prescribed. I had assumed the meds were upsetting her digestive track. Sassy dog turned into gassy dog. And she has no shame! She’ll sit on the couch, let them rip and not even give you a sheepish glance. Didn’t she get the memo that we women don’t do things like that?

So yesterday when the stink reached epic proportions, I took out the trash and opened tons of windows. Within a few hours, the smell had vanished. Victory!  That is, until I closed the windows again for the evening and realized the stink had come back.

Late last night (ok, early this morning) as I sat at the kitchen table typing away, engulfed in the smell, I looked over at the bamboo plant that’s kept in a big vase with pretty rocks and lots of water.  Well, duh. Several of the rocks were covered in mold. Ick! Being that mold is one of those 25 things I’m allergic to? That would explain the last two weeks of headaches that wouldn’t go away. Once I put the plant outside, the smell magically disappeared.

I’m feeling really guilty for assuming Abbeydog had that sort of pooting power. So I threw her a piece of deli ham and we agreed to call it “even.”

So the moral of the story is… If there’s a stink in the house you might want to check the bamboo plant before you blame the dog — or any other critters within your home.   

I’ll never forget that first year of Seth’s life. I envisioned us going to the St. Louis zoo, Bontanical Gardens, The Jewel Box, St. Louis Science Center, Laumeier Sculpture Park, and Art Museum so often employees would know us by our first names. I was going to fill his little bunny brain with lots of amazing sights, sounds, textures and tastes.

And then reality gave me a swift kick in the ass.  This little boy had colic. This little boy didn’t sleep. This little boy had alot of ear infections. This little boy wasn’t much of an eater. This little boy screamed. Alot. This little boy proved that he’d inherited his father’s will of steel.

So we spent alot of time in two places — in Target and at various restaurants. (Oh and the grocery story. Excuse me, THREE places. He liked carts for some reason.) Sure there were trips to Maryland, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Wisconsin, and New Orleans. There might have even been a trip or two to the zoo, a museum, and botanical gardens. To be honest, I don’t really remember. He would wake up  four to six times a night. (That first year is hazy.)

But all of those trips to Target worked out. By three years of age, he knew the local store so well he could navigate through the various departments. (He was a like GPS — only full of fuss and poop.)

Yeah, for us the first year was rough. It would have been wonderful to have known back then that there was a huge and amazing community of moms only a click away. Course it would also have been very helpful to know about the book, The Rookie Mom’s Handbag too. (And just so you know, we did visit all of those places and tons of parks during his second and third years. You know, when we were both sleeping better.)

The book is the brilliant idea of the busy chicks behind Rookie Moms. Plus there’s more than 250 activities that moms can do with their babies. How cool is that? Oh and if you want to get a shower gift that’s different and cool and useful, this is a great book!

The Rookie Mom bloggers in conjunction with Parent Bloggers Network would like to know how you spent your first year of motherhood. Post anytime this weekend - Friday, May 9 through Sunday, May 11. Within your post, make sure to link http://www.rookiemoms.com and http://blog.parentbloggers.com then email parentbloggers@gmail.com. with the link to your post. Feel free to get creative with your title!

According to PBN, “you could win one of two fantastic gift bags filled with more than $250 worth of goodies for moms, including the brand new BABYBJÖRN^®Baby Carrier Synergy, a child’s gardening kit from Smith & Hawken, a baby tshirt from Scout Organic Baby, and of course, a copy of The Rookie Mom’s Handbook.  Two winners will be drawn at random. Plus, Heather and Whitney will choose their three favorite posts and feature them on their website!”

This past weekend I went with a group of superfun chicks to the Beale Street Music Festival in Memphis. T’was fun (until I freaked out Saturday evening). It was a trip filled with “firsts”. Here’s the run down…

The first night of the festival was rainy in a big, bad way. Despite rain gear, the chicks and I were soaked to the bone. It was the first time I ever stood in the pouring rain waiting for a band to start their set. 

That night was also the first time I’ve ever been in a port-a-potty while it was rocking. (No clue why it started rocking a bit. I don’t remember the winds being that strong. But you know what they say, “if the port-a-potty is a’rocking — get the hell out of there as fast as you can.”)

On a yummy note, after the festival Friday, Jess (see this story and this one about her kids) and I went to an eatery across from the Peabody Hotel. Crawfish macaroni. Never had that before. Mmmmm. Tas-tay!

Saturday also brought a myriad of new experiences - like my first temporary tattoo and my first visit to BB King’s. It was in this packed bar some guy kept pestering me to leave the bar and go back to his hotel room – while another man kept humping my leg. THAT was definitely a first for me. (Both men were sloppy drunk. “Humpty” was dancing.) I didn’t know the “mom who looks like she’s on her way to the grocery store” look was so tantalizing! (Make a mental note ladies!) Who knew that if you want to find yourself a little unwanted attention, all you have to do is put on a $15 pair of capri’s from Kohl’s, a 6-year-old jacket and your wedding ring. Oh and when they talk to you, you should probably be polite. Apparently, to a grossly liquored up man? Politeness = flirting. 

At one point, I went out to the back patio to escape and to get a bit of quiet. (An employee said I could go back there. Apparently other employees disagreed.) This was the first time, I’ve ever had two angry women scream at me simultaneously. It was also the first time someone has called me a “stupid white bitch” (in my presence). 

So I went back to the bar area only to see Humpty and The Pest looking for me. (It got to a point where any time I’d talked to someone else, they’d shoo the other person away and continue to pester and hump.) I was relieved to see dear friend Dana. This was the first time I’ve ever started crying in a bar. (Should I mention I was very sober during this whole ordeal?) I felt trapped and creeped out. So she and I went outside and talked. (Humpty came following but at least he backed off when he saw I was upset.) It started to feel like a horrible experience I went through with a date many years ago. (The guy I’m referring to also did THIS.) The “fight or flight” reaction kicked in. After that, I couldn’t relax.

That brings me to another first… The first time I ever left a trip early. Dear friend Chris had to get home on Sunday. So I cut my trip short. The chicks I was with were very cool about me leaving early. And once home, I spent the rest of Sunday laying around, watching bad movies and gorging on chocolate from this place. And that night, dear friend Sarah sent me pics of all of the cool stuff she and the rest of the chicks were doing. That was very sweet, yes?

All in all, a few weird experiences but the wild wimmins I was with (these chicks plus another named Tina) are super fun. We all look out for each other. We all support each other. We have a blast when we get together. And being with chickies like that? Outweighs any bad.

Thanks to the blogger who loves Johnny Depp more than any woman on the face of the earth can — Mrs. G. She asked about the trip and then we talked about what I should blog about.

That little ole holiday called “Mother’s Day” is just around the corner. Julie and Kristen, the masterminds behind Parent Blogging Network, are asking moms everywhere how we’d like to be recognized this Mother’s Day. Ladies? So glad you asked!

First off, the hubby can skip the flowers. The easiest way to get to my heart is to bring me a fountain soda from Quik Trip. Nothing says “I love you” like waking up to find a QT soda waiting in the fridge. (Yeah, I’m cheap.)

And then, he could hang up the blinds we bought last fall then finish up a certain long-suffering administrative project. (Yeah, he knows what that is.) Oh and the icing on the cake would be for him, on Monday, to call Satan’s helpers (insurance company) and battle with them over coverage of his surgery from last year instead of me. (The home admin tasks = not easy.)

I know the man works hard so the boy can be up to his elbows in Star Wars stuff and I can stay home/pursue writing opportunities. I appreciate this greatly. (He’s a corporate rock star, he is. And I’m very proud of him.) I know that when the weekend rolls around, the last thing he wants to do is dive into chores around the house. He’s tired. Watching a few movies or taking Seth to breakfast sounds far more appetizing. But when he does work around the house, in my mind, he’s telling me that he cares about our home and household. It makes me feel valued and taken care of. It is lovely to feel that way, yes?

(Course I should probably add that this weekend he’s taking care of Seth while I’m at “Memphis in May” with some fun peeps for a few days. So right, now I’m feeling pretty valued.)

So I guess this year I just want the loose ends tied up from a few old projects. And a soda.

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In an effort to promote their new charitable giving site, Johnson’s Baby Cause, powered by Global Giving, Johnson & Johnson are combining energies with PBN to launch a new blog blast. And this particular blog blast? Prizes galore! All you have to do is write a post on your blog about how you’d like to be recognized this Mother’s Day. Post anytime between now and next Thursday, May 8 and include links to http://www.babycause.com and http://blog.parentbloggers.com. Then, send your blog post link to parentbloggers@gmail.com. The posts will be listed on the PBN blog Thursday, May 8. (And don’t forget to give your post a unique title.)

Both Johnson’s and PBN are chipping in for the prizes. Ten winners will receive a Johnson’s Mom and Baby product gift basket (thanks to Johnson’s) and $25 credit to donate to the charities of their choice at Johnson’s Baby Cause (thanks to PBN).

Oh and don’t forget to check out the celebrity-sponsored eBay auction benefiting Johnson’s Baby Cause where you can bid on baby gear that been “gently used” by celebrities like Julianne Moore and Matt Damon.

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P.S. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to the kind and supportive people who read my last post and commented.  Reading your comments of ”me too!” and “hang in there” made me all tear-eyed (in a good way). Thank you for passing along some of your strength. That means so much!