How to make me pee in mah pants
The back yard needed to be spiffed up. So this Monday, I decided this was The Day to tackle all of the leaf raking — at least in the outdoor play area. I raked and raked, formed leaf pile after leaf pile, then started stuffing the leaves into some lawn bags. And then… IT happened. I felt a split-second of moving sliminess in my hands. Then I saw this little grey-brown snake rapidly curl itself in the wad of leaves between my hands. It inadvertently rolled over, its bright orange belly a stark contrast to the brown/black leaves.
This is not the kind of snake I like to have in my hands…
I let out a girly-girl shriek, dropping the snake and leaves. The little thing landed and just laid there. At first I thought I’d seen a rattle at the end of its tail. So I poked it with a rake to get a better look. Then I poked it to see if would strike the rake. It just sat there. Then I got the camera. Then I poked it again to see if it would move. Then I poked it for fun. (Ok. Just kidding, Peta peeps.) I let the little guy go. He seemed harmless and scared.
Later on, thanks to Google, I learned all about this ring-neck snake. They are typically nocturnal. They love to hangout in decomposing leaves. And they usually keep to themselves. (So don’t take their social avoidance and awkwardness personally. They’re SHY!) But what did make me freak out a little was when I learned they live in a community den. Meaning there’s more than just that little one around. One itty bitty snake is fine. But a whole bunch? Well that makes me nervous.
You know what that means, don’t you? I probably need to buy an entire case of Depends before I do anymore leaf raking!
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boys peeing pants — June 29, 2008 @ 12:27 am
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By flutter, May 25, 2008 @ 5:44 pm
I am pretty sure I would have crapped myself.
By Cheryl, May 25, 2008 @ 5:58 pm
Oh man. I almost threw up my mac n cheese. The thought of snakes loose in the yard totally freaks me out, which is funny, since I used to have a ball python named Katie. Wild snakes? *shudder* Stuff like that makes me want to live in an apartment.
By liz, May 25, 2008 @ 9:39 pm
yeah, um, that is not for me.
itty bitty girly scream? oh hellz naw…i’d have SHRIEKED BLOODY MURDERS!
also i’d hire gardeners.
By cagey, May 25, 2008 @ 9:40 pm
You crack me up!
I used to catch ring-necks as a kid. And yes, they would live in a “den” of sorts. Easy pickings. hee hee
By Traceytreasure, May 26, 2008 @ 2:07 am
They make others (not just us girls, hint hint, shhhh!) scream like girly-girls too! We found one in our yard last weekend. My son has seen them at work too. They were all coming out when it was hot out but now it’s cold again so they probably don’t know what to do! Just keep the hose close by and if you have an accident, blame it on the hose! Hugs!
By jaelithe, May 26, 2008 @ 2:25 am
Hey, at least it is a non-poisonous kind of snake. You could have hurt it a lot more than it could have hurt you.
Also, you are aware that snakes eat mice, right? So you might want to adopt a policy of live and let live . . .
By Kat, May 26, 2008 @ 12:05 pm
Another prime example as to why I do not like to do yard work. We have these extra large and furry black spider in out bushes and mulch that scare the crap out of me. YUCK!
By jaelithe, May 26, 2008 @ 1:49 pm
(Just to clarify I am not accusing Lisa of snake abuse or anything. I probably would have thrown the thing across the yard if I’d been startled like that. Was just trying to remind her, and myself, that we don’t have to be scared of snakes that little. Really we don’t. Really. Niiiiiiiice snake . . . eep!)
By Jill (CDJ), May 26, 2008 @ 2:49 pm
Holy crap! I would have done more than scream like a girly girl. I would have run away, screaming and flailing and crying and never go outside. Ever. Again!
By Alissa, May 26, 2008 @ 7:39 pm
my boys would have been in heaven! Did I ever tell you about the time they caught a snake and scared their daddy half to death? Comedy gold!
By Lisa, May 26, 2008 @ 10:43 pm
Yikes! I would have screamed and my husband would have laughed at me. Then I would have blogged about it!! Snake, mouse, mole….you jsut don’t want to see them when you aren’t expecting it.
By HollowSquirrel, May 26, 2008 @ 11:48 pm
I would have shat myself and probably levitated with fright. Actually, I should go check my drawers…just reading this makes me icky.
By Linda, May 27, 2008 @ 2:17 am
> Hee!
I would have freaked, too. Good thing hubby does the yard work…
By Linda, May 27, 2008 @ 2:18 am
P.S.: Whoops!
“This is not the kind of snake I like to have in my hands…” was supposed to precede the “Hee!”
By Sugared Harpy, May 27, 2008 @ 4:20 pm
Oh god, a DEN? I would need more than Depends, I would need to hire a GARDENER instead. Because I would not go back!
You are brave!
By Jakki, May 27, 2008 @ 4:41 pm
This is always a fear of mine. I love to garden and I leave my leaves on the flower beds to protect the flowers during the winter so this could very well be my back yard you are talking about but you are a better woman than me…I wouldnt rake for a lonnnnnnnnnng time. I might not even go into the back yard, LOL.
By Andrea, May 27, 2008 @ 5:20 pm
I don’t think I would have stopped at peeing my pants. There’d be some mud in them thar britches, for sure.
We found a dead mole in our yard, courtesy of our new puppy, who probably gummed the mole to death. But gross, they’re such fugly things, and to know that we had one mole makes me think there are more, and now I’m kinda glad I have the dog with boundless energy that likes to kill the moles. Yay!
By Susan, May 27, 2008 @ 6:59 pm
For a split second I thought you were holding a copperhead in your hand! Thank goodness that wasn’t the case. I’m not normally scared of snakes but I think I still would have freaked a little just because of the surprise factor.
By Alexandra, May 27, 2008 @ 7:44 pm
OMG, I would have died!!!!
By ~JJ!, May 27, 2008 @ 7:47 pm
Ok. See. This is why I demand the hubs to do all the gardening.
Keep me indoors with the hardly tame animals and the A/C.
By VirtualSprite, May 27, 2008 @ 8:17 pm
I’m with Andrea. I don’t like snakes at all. I really don’t like things without fur in general. So I had my wet-my-pants moment when Nature Boy woke me up absurdly early yesterday morning to pull a tick out of his head. EEEWWW!
By mp, May 27, 2008 @ 8:46 pm
Yeah..I would have peed myself.
FYI..do any of your readers have issues w/ your website? I use IE and everytime I come here my whole browser freaks out and freezes up on me.
By slackermommy, May 28, 2008 @ 3:52 am
I am TERRIFIED of snakes! Just seeing that photo gives me the willies!
By Carrie, May 28, 2008 @ 6:39 am
I would need more than a case of those . . .
It totally perplexes me that when I was a little girl I used to catch gardner snakes in our garden and race them with the neighbor boy. Who would’ve thought?
By Carrie, May 28, 2008 @ 6:41 am
Oh, and to the above comment, I had the same problem all the time on my laptop — but with my new, shiny desktop I can read MM just fine!
And both used the same version of IE, so I don’t think that’s the problem.
By becky, May 28, 2008 @ 1:58 pm
omg i’m pretty sure i would have died!
By Heather, May 28, 2008 @ 6:40 pm
My boys would be out there with shovels, looking for the nest.
By Kathy, May 29, 2008 @ 5:56 am
Hi, I just popped over from Funny Gals and you have me peeing MY pants. I can’t even look at that picture of the snake without freaking out. Maybe you guys are used to them where your from, but if I found a snake in my hands I would drop it and run and jump in a lake. It just seems like the right thing to do.
By Farrell, June 5, 2008 @ 1:35 pm
well you just gave me the excuse I need (not that I needed one to begin with) to never rake leaves again!!