What do you do when…
Posted on June 18, 2008
Filed Under abbey, wierd stuff |
You find out that your hubby’s ex-girlfriend (aka his high school sweetheart, whom he dated on and off in college then lived with for awhile after college, then dated casually after they broke up, and stopped seeing for good once he started dating you) is a brain surgeon who has helped to develop a brain cancer vaccine. (So far, the vaccine is still in trial stages but results are promising.)
You think, “holy hell!” And then you… think of the tremendous potential! The lives that might be saved someday. You are really happy and excited for her. You admire her ambition and years of hard work.
And then you do what you’ve done for years… Wonder why in the hell Hubby ever dated/married you because she’s achieved so much! She’s opening up people’s brains! She’s on her way to curing cancer! And she’s pretty! And you? Write a blog and use alot of bathroom humor. (We couldn’t be more different. The only thing we have in common is we’ve both got ovaries, love sushi, and have been driven crazy by the same man - but at different times in our lives. (We should compare hubby’s arguing tactics. Methinks those haven’t changed!)
And then you shrug your shoulders and giggle. Sucker! He could be sitting on his own boat near his super cool summer home wearing shoes with expensive tassels. But nooooo! He’s a suburban-dwelling, working stiff who continually tunes out the screaming woman who bore his spawn.
And then you silently thank her. Because her motivation and ambition really inspired your hubby all those years ago. She set a great example in finding one’s passion and working tirelessly to achieve a dream.
And then you silently curse her too. Because he inadvertently turned into a work-a-holic.
But overall, you wonder how she’s doing. You hope she’s happy. You want her to know she’ll always have a place in his heart. How could she not? You understand. You’re okay with that.
And then you…kiss your little man’s scrape, scrub the sink, vacuum the steps, feed the dog, field some phone calls and make dinner.
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26 Responses to “What do you do when…”
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Oh I feel the same way, my hubby’s family stays in contact with my hubby’s ex-wife, who is still skinny (though she has not borne any children), makes good money and has a clean house (but has no children nor the man who still cant hit the hamper opening and drops his dirty drawers next to it) and I wonder why in the hell he married me. Me who 12 years later is 50 lbs heavier and has gray hair.
I wonder the same kind of things at times. Before me, my husband was involved long-term with a girl who just got her PhD in Art History and is successfully working in academia with a great reputation. I wonder what made him leave her for me, especially since he could have had a lot more money with a lot less work with her.
Hey, if we were all brain surgeons, we’d all run around trying to cut into each other’s heads and the world would be an incredibly messy place.
I find you to be the more aesthetically pleasing, for what it’s worth!
You’re so understanding.
Is B the Hubby? If he is, we all should give him a kiss.
LOL! I love this post! So honest, so damn true…Why do our brains go crazy sometimes with all of these thoughts. Clearly you were the hotter of the two!
Dude, there is an art to fart jokes. You are a fartist.
What? You mean…you fart, too…holy hell, woman!?!?
Wonder what goes through the mind of that ex-woman of his. I think this post is so funny, since in my case, I’ll be the high school sweet heart of this guy who married another girl because after 5 years of dating I dumped him (inmature decisions). Now, 10 years later I found him on facebook and wonder.
The ex-girlfriend probably looks a little wistfully at the life you have built, the child, the family and house and dog… Maybe she realizes that two ambitious people could never have made it work truly without sacrificing much of the relationship to their workaholic hours. Maybe she’s happy that he found someone who could be his support system so he could concentrate on following his dreams without the worries of what’s going on at the homestead, because said homestead is in good hands. And she turns back to her microscope with a soft sigh. Because while she’s curing cancer, she still has to cook her own dinner at night.
Grass is greener. You have done pretty well by your man, too. Besides, she didn’t give him Seth. You did. That makes you irreplaceable.
Though I have to say, you’re very magnanimous of her impact on your hubs. That says a lot about what a sweetie you are, too.
You are exceedingly mature! And I don’t mean that in the like “you shop in the mature section at penney’s” kind of way!
I like your attitude.
That was sweet.
I think he picked the woman with the bigger heart and the woman he loves and wants to spend the rest of his days with.
Don’t ever compare yourself to the past. You are doing the most important job in the world for you two and Seth. Be happy!! Hugs!
And, you make him happy in bed!
I’m practically bff’s w/ my husbands exwife..so I totally get it. Her daughter (from her current marriage) actually loves me to death..it’s one big love fest.. we’re lucky, I know.
I love your line of thinking and that your maturity and kindness wins out against your self-doubt and insecurities. That’s why I love ya!
A brain surgeon? Gooooooood gravy. My hubby dated a lot but really only had one serious girlfriend. A psycho ex-girlfriend who makes me look good.
And that’s why he married me.
Personally, I’d take the brain surgeon. My husband was once seriously involved w/ the daughter of an infamous wife murderer. It’s hard to compete w/ months of CourtTV.
Everything you wrote here is EXACTLY why he’s so in love with and married YOU.
omg she has accomplished so much!!!!! i’d go through the same thoughts too
It would be a whole lot easier if his ex was like a garbage collector or something. Darn the luck.
Okay, at the risk of sounding like a cheerleader, I feel compelled to point out that I knew that future brain surgeon and was around (on the periphery, of course [gak - shudder]) for a lot of the time that he dated her, and I must say that I can see EXACTLY why he picked you, and that I continue to be absolutely thrilled that he had the good sense to do so.
The brain surgeon (let’s just call her B.S., shall we?) did have many positive effects on our boy, but they are nothing compared to the positive effects that you have had not just on him, but his whole family.
I’m thrilled for B.S. and the remarkable work she has done, but the spirit, soul, and spark (and yes, intellect, dammit) that you have brought to that man and his family are a greater gift by far.
Good for you! I would be secretly wishing bad things for her. I’m immature like that.
Wow.
If I found out my wife’s ex-boyfriend was a brain surgeon, I would just say “that’s cool” and be done with it.
You are a better woman than I am ?
OK…totally laughing at Slackermommy’s comment *snicker*
Anyway, knowing you, he did pick the right woman!
OK, I just re-read this post after reading today’s cancer post.
Think about this one:
Perhaps God put her in your future husband’s life because you would eventually need her knowledge and connections!
Amazing.