Midwestern Mommy

Last week, the hubby and I spent a morning at a fine local hospital. The experience included drinking some sort of liquid mixed with 7-Up, waiting around, drinking more of it, then ultimately having a futuristic-looking medical machine, (that looks a lot like a Stargate ) take fancy x-rays of my insides. 

The drink I ingested, called “contrast”, sort of lights up the digestive system so doctors get a super clear view of your digestive track. Oh and to be even more thorough, I was given an IV with a different sort of contrast. I wasn’t expecting a needle so when I found out about this little extra, my fight or flight response took over. 

As usual when I encounter a needle, my entire being wants to jump up and run into a woods, even if my ass is hanging out of a hospital gown. But the logical part of my brain steadfastly commands my body, “STAY! STTTAAAAYYY!” much like the way I yell at my dog when she tries to lunge for a bag of spilled M&M’s .

The needle phobia is not helped when the dye is so thick you can feel your vein quiver as the gunk is injected. But just as the nurse predicted, my whole body soon grew warm and I got to experience the “pee in your pants” sensation, only without coldness and mess.

This past Friday I had a follow-up with a final specialist for “The Cancer that wasn’t Cancer“.  He gave me the “offical” news. In a nutshell? I’m fine. Completely healthy, even. The doctor gave me permission to go back to my boozing, brawling, drug-filled lifestyle. (”Boozing” if you mean an occasional drink. “Brawling” if you mean fighting with a boy to do his homework. And “drug-filled” if you mean taking a daily dose of Zyrtek.) 

Early cat scans weren’t very clear so when doctors saw a big white blob in and around the colon they assumed it was cancer. (But clearer tests done later that week showed a very, very inflammed and irritated colon. Actually a colon so inflammed parts of it weren’t getting enough blood flow. Yikes!) At one point, doctors still weren’t sure what was going on so they pumped me with antibiotics and waited. In that time at home and on antibiotics, the big white blob cleared up. The recent specialist is convinced it was a really just a nasty case of food poisoning.

Food poisoning. Sort of anti-climatic, yes? But I’m totally fine with that.

The support I received after this post was amazing. (Thankfully, the scarey ordeal is no longer “scarey” nor an “ordeal”.) But I wanted to thank everyone who took time to read the post and comment. So I’ll be thanking a group of people as a part of each post until I’ve thanked everyone.

So thanks to: Jennifer, Carrie, Suebob, Motherbumper, Melissa, Alissa, Nancy, Vdog, Assertagirl, Angie, Morning Light Mama, Maeve’s mom, Kel, Debbie, and Her Bad Mother.

When we talked about the upcoming start of school, Seth hadn’t expressed anything but excitement. So when the “big day” arrived, sunny and promising, he was ready. He was armed with a cool haircut, wearing his prized Sketchers, and was ready for the action. Or so I thought.

Ten minutes before the bus was to arrive, he asked me to take him. I grumbled about it being the last minute. I said “no” at first. He persisted. I relented. And I’m so glad I did.

In the car, I snuck a peek at him through the rearview window. He looked sad.

“What’s the matter, bunny?”

“I’m nervous. I don’t know if I’ll be able to learn everything in first grade. What if I can’t pay attention like last year?”

My heart melted. I remember being nervous the first day of school but I assumed it was only me who’d felt that way. I was a nervous kid full of self-doubt. Seth is a happy kid with self-confidence.   

We walked into his school together. He remembered where his new classroom was and recognized his teacher from the ice cream social they had the day before. He sat down at his desk, chatted with a few of his old classmates, and seemed perfectly at ease. We took a few photos (with camera phone because I didn’t think to bring the real camera) and then he said in a very serious manner, “Mom. You can go home now. I’ll be ok.”

And so he was.

(The support I received after this post was amazing. (Thankfully, the bad news turned into good news.) But I wanted to thank everyone who took time to read the post and comment. So I’ll be thanking a group of people as a part of each post until I’ve thanked everyone.

So thanks to: Sally, Pattie,Gregg, Jill, Heather G, Dawn, Tania, Amy, Jana, Christina, Kerri, Raising Z, Theresa, Jillian Inc, and Kerrie.

Ever since this past spring, “the boy” has been angling for a pair Sketchers. (What is so magical about Sketchers? No clue.) He finally got his wish a few days ago. He’s so proud of his recent “back-to-school” acquisition. He walks with a new-found spring in his step. He swears they make him run faster and kick a ball farther. 

But what’s also been amusing is his new-found interested in hair care products. Tired of getting pestered over “do my hair” requests, I bought him his very own product yesterday. 

While in the grocery store, Seth mulled over his choices. He asked about gels versus mousse. Once he had his choices narrowed down to three products (based on packaging, naturally), he decided to smell each brand. The manliest scent won.

We got home and he raced upstairs with the mousse and emerged with spikey hair and a very proud smile.

Seth learned a valuable life lesson - that a favorite pair of shoes and great hair day can make you feel like you can conquer the world.

The support I received after this post was amazing. (Thankfully, the bad news turned into good news.) But I wanted to thank everyone who took time to read the post and comment. So I’ll be thanking a group of people as a part of each post until I’ve thanked everyone.

So thanks to: Beth D, A Bun’s Life, Snowberry Lane, Its All For the Best, Parachuting Without a Net, Wicked Auntie (who is wicked in that cool way) Kathie, Mommy’s Martini, Rancid Raves, My Second Journal, Blonde Mom Blog, and Moto Mom.

Wow, what a difference two weeks makes. Am feeling back to my old self and ready to tackle anything. Learned alot the past few weeks. Here’s some tidbits I’d like to (over) share.

*A cancer scare puts alot of things into perspective. And it makes you and your spouse appreciate each other all the more.

*Is my colon is “cleaner” than yours? Unless you got a colonoscopy on or before last week Wednesday? I’m guessing “yeah.” 

*If you happen to get a little Morphine, ask for some Zofran first. Takes the nausea out of the experience. But if I had the choice to stockpile something, I’d choose Zofran over Morphine. Fall and winter months bring stomach viruses and flu bugs. Ick.

*Need a t-shirt that says, “I’m not a junkie, I was just really dehydrated when the nurses tried to put in an IV. They couldn’t get a vein.” Seriously. If you look at my arms, you might wonder… On that note, sometimes a nurse can strike a nerve. And holy hell! Now I have an idea of what it feels like if you stuck a knife in a toaster.

*Don’t let little boys near a motorized bed. Seriously. They can’t resist the buttons on hospital beds and will try to turn you into a taco - JUST BECAUSE THEY CAN. The boy now wants a motorized bed for Christmas.

*Want to lost 7 pounds in a matter of two weeks? Refer to previous posts. (But eating ice cream with complete abandon for a few days once you DO feel better is probably not a good idea if you want to keep that weight off. That being said, banana-split flavored ice cream? Come to mama!)

*Oh and radioactive dye goes better with 7-Up. And if you have to drink that salty motor oil nastiness to clean out your colon? 7-Up helps that stuff go down a bit better too. (Am so sick of drinking 7-Up!)

*Even if your little boy spends several days with his best friend, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, eventually he will miss that bossy woman who makes him shower, brush his teeth and work on his handwriting. Because although she’s “never ever any fun”, she does tuck him in at night and snuggles him. He will also miss his bed, antagonizing the dog, and his “boring” routine after awhile.  

THANK YOU to everyone who’s been reading and sending prayers/happy vibes my way. They have been working!

And speaking of “routine”, school is starting soon. That means new supplies, clothes, shoes and underwear, right? Check out this review for Hanes Comfort Fit Boxers on behalf of Parent Bloggers.

To make a long story short - On Monday I went to the ER. I had experienced intense stomach pain (and burning) for days. I couldn’t eat, hardly slept, felt nauseous and was miserable. Cat scans revealed a large mass in the colon area that doctors interpreted as a tumor. They told me to summon my family. They admitted me to the oncology ward. They told me I’d need more tests because they couldn’t figure out whether I had colon cancer or lymphoma.

That was five days ago. In that time, a number of tests were done. Many prayers were said, tears shed, cards sent, well wishes expressed and morphine taken. Another cat scan (this time with contrast) was taken on Thursday. This one, along with a different test done on Wednesday, showed no tumors. In other words, NO COLON CANCER NOR LYMPHOMA.

They have no clue what the hell is wrong with me but I DON’T HAVE CANCER.

They found thickness and inflammation along the colon walls. They found a part of the colon wasn’t getting enough blood flow. They think my appendix has been oozing gunk and the colon built a wall to protect itself and the body from infection. They think that’s the reason a part of the colon wasn’t getting enough blood flow.

This would explain why I’ve been so tired all summer.

They started intravenous antibiotics at the hospital. The plan, for now, is to continue with the antibiotics. To let all of the inflammation and infection settle down. Then in about 10 days, have more tests done. And there will probably be a surgery to remove the appendix or to get a biopsy. But overall? Whatever I have IS FIXABLE!  NO CANCER!

Words can not express how relieved I am. In fact, I’m so relieved it takes my breath away. I’m still tired. I still have some stomach pain but NOTHING like earlier this week.

I’m a quiet person (except around people I know really well.) When I’m not feeling good or upset about stuff, I retreat into myself. I was shocked and scared when I heard the diagnosis. But at the same time, I felt so alone. A part of me wanted to just re-treat but I also felt compelled to write about the diagnosis. Writing helps me make sense of things. And I needed to make sense of it all. I didn’t think about the reaction I’d get. I rarely check my stats. So I rarely have an idea of who’s reading or if anyone really IS reading. My blog is what I call the “under the radar” type”

So the reaction from family, friends, neighbors, husband’s colleagues (and even a few of his clients) and fellow bloggers has been overwhelming - to know so many people care. I wasn’t expecting anything from anyone. I was too busy wondering how we’d pay for the treatment and how it would affect my little boy. But I am amazed and touched.There is tremendous power in prayer and I could feel that prayer all week. I could feel it physically, mentally and even in my marriage and in the amazing health professionals who took care of me. Thank you for your good vibes, kind words, e-mails, flowers, candy, cards, calls, and messages of support. It has been a scary, wild ride — one I hope to never repeat. But I’m thinking we’ve gotten through the worst of it (NO CANCER!) and I couldn’t have done it all without each and every one of you. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.