Hummingbird
He flits around the room, from one activity to the next. He’s always moving and talking — as if there’s something internally and eternally propelling him noisily onward. Unfinished pages of coloring books fill his art drawer. He is impulsive, often interrupting others’ conversations. He has trouble following directions. He’s easily distracted. And he’s easily frustrated. He wears out other kids his age.
But he’s also a fast learner. He excells in math. He can hyperfocus when he immerses himself into something of great interest. He has an amazing memory. He can quickly grasp some abstract concepts like God and the soul. He has a big heart. He seeks out ways to be helpful. He is eager to please. He’s snuggly. He is kind to his friends and family. He’s charming. He has a generous nature. He has a large number of interests. He has so many wonderful qualities.
This is my son. And in May, a doctor confirmed what I’d (and a few of his teachers) suspected for awhile — he has ADHD. We had put off going the medication route but we finally agreed to try it out.
For now, it is working. He’s still the same active little person. His personality and sense of humor hasn’t changed at all. He’s definitely not one of those “over-medicated zombies” you hear about. But at least now he is able to pay attention in class. He is now able to stay on task. When he’s working in a group setting, his classmates don’t have to keep redirecting him. His teacher doesn’t need to keep going over directions and redirecting him either. She’s able to focus on the other kids who need her help.
I’m not saying medicating your child will make all of your problems go away. No way! In fact, he isn’t on the medicine during holidays, weekends or during summer vacation. But it has helped him harness that energy. When he gets older, he will determine whether or not to remain on medication. He will have to learn how to adapt his behaviors, how to channel all of that energy into constructive and positive endeavors without relying as much on medication.
Did you know that Albert Einstein, Ansel Adams, Bill Gates, Earnest Hemmingway, Steven Spielberg, Leo Tolstoy, Socrates, Bethoven, Mozart, Abraham Lincoln, Galileo, the Wright Brothers and Virginia Wolff all have (or had) ADHD? When they combined their energy with their passion for their respective fields, they became legendary.
Now as a parent, it is my job to help Seth discover his passion, nurture his strengths and to help him adapt. There’s no doubt in my mind that he has limitless potential to go with that limitless energy.
Someday he may ask me to take down this post. He may feel it an invasion of privacy. But for now it will stay. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. And I want others to see that too. He has ADHD. It is something he’ll have to learn to work around — like so many others have done before him. Having ADHD is not the end of the world.
In may aspects…. it is merely the beginning.
I wrote this post because the more I researched ADHD, the more I realized there’s a stigma there. (Some people don’t believe in ADHD and think it is a matter of crappy parenting.) If you totally disagree with my way of thinking, that’s perfectly ok. Am interested in hearing all points of view. Just please know I don’t consider medicine the “quick fix”. For now its one of the tools we’re using. (Along with teaching him organizational skills and a few other things.)
The support I received after this post was amazing. (Thankfully, the scary ordeal is no longer “scary” nor an “ordeal”.) But I wanted to thank everyone who took time to read the post and comment. So I’ll be thanking a group of people as a part of each post until I’ve thanked everyone.
So thanks to: Anissa, Linsey, Patrick D, Wendi, Julienne, Heidi, Carolyn Bahm, Chelle, Jenny, Kelli, Moosh in Indy, Canape, Sandira, Sheri, Mistie, Califmom, Kim, and Sweetney.
Served up fresh this week: Win a little something cool to keep you warm from Lands’ End. Enter the giveaway here! And speaking of giveaways, Parent Bloggers Network is giving you a chance to win a free children’s book from Positive Spin. (I’m working on this campaign!) Check out the books and enter here. Also, don’t schedule any gyno surgical procedures before you read this.
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By Traceytreasure, November 6, 2008 @ 7:33 pm
I’m sending you an email!
Hugs!!
By Nancy, November 6, 2008 @ 8:37 pm
My son was diagnosed as a first grader. He was a zombie on meds so we elected to take him off them. I am glad they are working for your son. The best thing to teach him is organization. We still struggle with missed assignments, missing books, no pencil….and he is 16…
By Jim, November 6, 2008 @ 8:39 pm
It’s great that it’s working well for you. Congrats.
By Issa, November 6, 2008 @ 9:21 pm
Everything you wrote about your son, applies to my daughter as well. The docs told us she had ADHD at 2 years old. We’ve gone back and forth on medicating her and we’ve not tried it so far. But we’re getting to the point where I think it might really be helpful. It’s hard, because she’s extremely intelligent and fully capable of focusing when she wants too. It’s one of those not easy parenting decisions, I guess.
Can I ask you a question? Has it helped with the interrupting? Morgan, my daughter, she interrupts and we know that she’s moved on to the next thing. It used to make me insane, now I’m used to it. When it’s important, I ask her, did you hear me and if she can tell me what I said, I let it go. But I think it’s the thing that will make me try the medication. Because most people don’t get it. They are starting to think she is rude. At 4, no one noticed, cause all 4 year olds interrupt, but she’s almost 7 and I’m noticing people get easily annoyed with her. Have you noticed a big difference with that part of it or just a small difference?
By Issa, November 6, 2008 @ 10:18 pm
Hey, saw your comment and tried to email you and then, yeah it didn’t show your email address either. blogger has issues.
But my email is issascrazyworld at gmail
By Kat, November 7, 2008 @ 1:07 am
I am so glad the medication is working so well for him. I think you are handling it all very cautiously and very much informed. Well done!
By Dana, November 7, 2008 @ 2:27 am
I can’t imagine what this must be like. Are there any support networks for parents of children with ADHD? I know of one in our area that my neighbor attends. Her son has it, too.
By mayberry, November 7, 2008 @ 2:31 am
I’m so glad the medicine is working for Seth!
By Nap Warden, November 7, 2008 @ 4:46 am
Glad to hear it’s working for you:)
By Carrie, November 7, 2008 @ 6:17 am
I am so glad that you guys have found a treatment that works. I’ve watched my nephew struggle for years with adjustment to different medications and it is still really hard for him, and his parents.
Sounds like you are on the right path and Seth will be able to accel because of it, in his social life as well as his academic life.
By Michelle, November 7, 2008 @ 2:57 pm
Beautiful blog.
It had to be hard to write, and subject you and your family to the point of view of the masses.
I think you did what was right for you and your family. The great thing is, that you will continue to make sure that medication is right for your son, and not just chalk it up a quick fix.
Either way, medication or not, it is a hard step to take. Best of luck with your awsome son!
By Zephra, November 7, 2008 @ 3:06 pm
Medication Sara is the best things we could have done for her. She went from that annoying kid who could not sit still and did not do well in school to the top of her class…and apparently she is getting to be popular.
By Isabel, November 7, 2008 @ 6:25 pm
What a good post, Lisa.
You have to do what you feel is best for your child and your family. I hope that Seth continues to thrive. He’s such an amazing little boy!
By Terra, November 7, 2008 @ 7:00 pm
I would be very interested to learn more from your experience. I am pretty sure my daughter has this as well. I am however, quite reluctant to pursue medication because I am afraid of the link that exists with the meds and adult habitual drug use. Maybe it isn’t something as scary as I feel it to be, but with half of her other side having problems in that area… Well I am scared of the idea, so any insight you can give would be wonderful.
By Gina, November 8, 2008 @ 3:48 am
I think that going through things like this when it comes to our children have to be very difficult. My most sincere admiration to the way you have handle this situation.
By Linda, November 9, 2008 @ 4:35 am
Welcome to the club! AD/HD meds have been a huge help for our son over the past few years, making him (as they say in edu-speak) “available for learning.” Meds are like glasses; they just help Seth — as they do for my son — do the things he needs to do.
You may want to check out CHADD (www.chadd.org), a national AD/HD support and advocacy organization, for local support groups; I went to one for years and got a lot of very helpful information.
By mojavi at SImple Things, November 9, 2008 @ 6:28 am
I applaud you for being an advocate for your child!
By dysfunctional mom, November 11, 2008 @ 8:49 am
BRAVO to you for posting this! I thought at first you’d met my stepson. =) I am the one who recognized his ADHD, got him diagnosed, and then we started meds. He is doing SO much better now, it’s so rewarding to see the real kid underneath all that frantic motion!
By laurie, November 11, 2008 @ 2:19 pm
My ten year old son’s best friend was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago. The meds really work for him. He is just more comfortable in his own skin and has more focus.
Yes, drugs are over-prescribed in our society. But that doesn’t mean that they don’t really, really work for some kids.
By Amber, November 12, 2008 @ 3:07 am
Nope, don’t agree at all it is bad parenting but I agree that many are over-medicated. But you are being careful with it and it sounds like you have a dose that is working. And that, my dear, is wonderful!
By Tuesday, November 13, 2008 @ 4:04 pm
My husband sold ADD ADHD medications for a long time so I know a lot about them. I think they are great for kids who truly need them. i think many parents use it as a bandaid and it is over prescribed.
I think behavior modification, structure and diet change is all first course action, then iof medication is still needed, great.
I am glad Seth is doing well!
By Monkey's Momma, November 13, 2008 @ 5:07 pm
Thanks for sharing this very personal story!
By The Other Susan, November 13, 2008 @ 10:29 pm
It sounds like you have researched your options and didn’t enter into this lightly. I’m glad the medicine is working for your little hummingbird. If it’s any consolation, my niece was able to eventually go off the meds. Thank you for sharing such a personal story with us. ((HUGS))
By Christina, November 18, 2008 @ 8:26 pm
It’s amazing how much of your description would fit Cordy, too. As you know, she was diagnosed with autism, but ADHD is often considered related. Her hyperactivity and inability to sit still or not interrupt have made us begin to question if medication might be in order. It makes me glad to hear a story of it working well.
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