In the hours of Twilight
Posted on November 21, 2008
Filed Under The "C" word, giveaways, humor |
The first of the Twilight movies makes its debut today (I say “first” because from what I hear more are planned) for the general public. And there’s many of us eager to to hit the theaters.
I never got into the Harry Potty er uh, Pottery, er uh POTTER (typos but I’m keeping them) books but I remember watching some women rave about the story line. I had no intention of reading the books and no intention of making even a feeble attempt at understanding the ”why” surrouning the hoopla.
So when the Twilight frenzy started I rolled my eyes and thought, “Oh Crap. More of this?” But this time I thought I’d read one of the books, but only so I could tell people exactly WHY I didn’t like it. Yes, I was expecting to find Twilight trite and cliched. I was expecting a headache from all of the eyerolling I’d do.
So I bought a copy and started reading. And I got a headache. But that’s only because my eyes were so strained — I couldn’t put the freakin’ book down! Sure I did do some eye rolling and mumbling at the beginning but it soon sucked me in. Course what didn’t hurt? Was finding out that Robert Pattinson is playing Edward Cullen. So having a beautiful face to put with the character kept me reading. He’s so… dreamy.
After I read the books, I thought about becoming a vampire — if this were an option. I think I’d be interested in taking that step. I mean really, look at the pros!
1.) At the time you are bitten, you no longer age. You could be 19, 25, or 30 forever. No looking old and decrepit for YOU! Think of all of the money you’d save on Botox and Oil of Olay.
2.) You don’t need sleep anymore. Think of all of the time that frees up. You could take on a second job, read lots of books, learn different languages and musical instruments.
3.) You don’t gain weight. Ever. Think of how much mental energy that would free up for so many women!
4.) You morph into a supermodel with a rockin’ bod. According to the Twilight books, the transformation gradually changes your features somewhat so you look totally hot — all the more to lure your prey.
5.) No more periods. A menstral cycle is one of constant change. Since your body will no longer change? No cycle. No PMS! No cramps or migraines! No worries about accidents!
6.) You move with grace and fluidity. That a big plus for those of us who can fall UP the stairs. Plus? You are superfast and strong. Carrying that 35 pound bag of dog food to the car is much easier.
Course there are some cons:
1.) You can’t eat real food anymore. You now have to take down people or deer and suck blood. Your beloved chocolate will now taste like dirt.
2.) Since you don’t age, you have to invent some excuse as to why you can’t see your loved ones and friends anymore. Cause when your little sister’s shrunk 4 inches, while sporting blue hair and dentures? Well, she’s gonna wonder why you still look like a 20-year-old unlined, Victoria’s Secret model. She may be the teensiest bit resentful of that.
Um yeah, that seems about it for the cons.
What do yo think? Are you planning to see the movie. (Am very eager to see it because I hear they’ve stayed true to the book and hearing that ALWAYS makes me happy.) What do YOU think of the frenzy?
Served up fresh this week: Buying presents for boys? May I recommend Hot Wheels? Don’t forget a chance to win a Disney dvd for the little ones. And while the kids are engaged, why not browse through Amazing Baby or pamper yourself with Obagi. Oh, and the St. Louis Beacon spotlighted a few of us St. Louis moms and dads. (A big, squishy, puffy pink THANK YOU goes to Kristen for making it sound like I have more than 2 brain cells and know what I’m talking about!)
The support I received after this post was amazing. (Thankfully, the scary ordeal is no longer “scary” nor an “ordeal”.) But I wanted to thank everyone who took time to read the post and comment. So I’ll be thanking a group of people as a part of each post until I’ve thanked everyone.
So thanks to: Kimberly, Atherton Bartleby, Karen Andrews, Amanda, Gina Maria, Mike G, Karen, Maria, Rachel, MamaLiz, Antique Mommy, Kimblahg, Avalon, Kristen, Kateanon, Lisa Milton, Mp, and Suburban Turmoil.
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22 Responses to “In the hours of Twilight”
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OK, it’s really cracking me up that you used the word “dreamy”, because I used the same thing in my post(s) on Twilight…except I was being more sarcastic.
Once was today, believe it or not, and once was a few weeks ago talking about my wife texting people about the book.
I’ll have to admit, though, that I have not read Twilight, but I HAVE read most of the Ann Rice vampire books and that whole vampire thing had a lot of appeal! Of course, if it didn’t, no one would buy the next book!
Okay, the no food thing would definitely be a deal breaker for me.
I really need to see that movie and I am ALMOST willing to brave the teenage girls to see it, tonight
My best friend is a huge Harry Potter Fan (as am I) and I think she likes Twilight even better
She is begging me to read the books, I was dragging my heels but I think you convinced me. Life as a vampire seems pretty great but I am not sure is worth giving up FOOD and my family 
Of course I will see the movie! I have had this weird obsession with vampires since I was a kid though, so perhaps I am just to biased to give any good reviews of anything…
*sob* I miss Obagi. SO BAD. I almost wish I had a full-time job that paid actual cash so that I could purchase my much-missed Obagi. *sob*
The sunscreen and the cleanser rocks the house. I am so jealous you get to review it!
I too didn’t care about the book until my friend brought it over. I am now onto the fourth book (within 3 weeks). I am seeing the movie tomorrow night with the “girls.” Why not? Edward Cullen is yummy!
I am going tomorrow morning. I got my tickets a week ago. My fear is that it will be cheesy. The book was pure greatness and I was sucked in when we met Edward for the first time. Except for the 3 days of burning hell (which can’t be much worse than labor) it all sounds good to me. Okay, maybe the blood drinking part would suck a bit.
I saw Twilight last night. I really liked it.
However, I am probably in the minority on Robert Pattinson. I think they could have picked a better Edward. He wasn’t horrible though.
I did NOT care for the actors who played Rosalie and Jasper.
Alice, Esme and Emment’s actors were good I thought.
But, I’m not sure how much someone would like the movie if they haven’t read the books. My husband just said it was okay.
Of course, the movies are never as good as the books!!
People would totally notice if I became a vampire. First of all, I love the sun. If I put foil on my windows to keep it out, people would know something was wrong because that’s a pet peeve of mine. I don’t want to read the books but I am going to go and see the movie!!
Hugs!!
No chocolate?
Fogeddaboutit!
I’ll go see it in a few weeks, I hope it’s still out. Dang new house getting in the way of Twilight!
Love, love, LOVE the Twilight books. Have not seen the movie yet…but maybe tonight? I’m thinking it would be a fantastic Tuesday night activity.
As for the pros and cons - I’m all for being a vampire too. Gorgeous, young, superspeed/strength/agility.
It all works for me.
I was geeked about the weight loss, but after you mentioned no periods I am totally sold.
I want to be a vampire.
But I want to be the kind that gets to make out with the Brad Pitt vampire.
I got sucked into the whole “Twilight” craze about 2 months ago. I even got roped into doing a quiz for STLtoday.com. I’ve read the first three books but haven’t picked up the 4th yet. The third book (”Eclipse) was definitely the best so far. I couldn’t put it down. I haven’t seen the movie yet, but that’s because it’s hard to find time to go see a movie by myself when I have the two boys. I’m more likely to go see “Bolt” before I see “Twilight.” I’m usually disappointed with the movies made from books, but who knows.
I am now the chairperson of my son’s yearbook (As a volunteer. No pay just like high school). 60 pages and 19 classes with more than 400 students. Uggg. Have a great Thanksgiving.
BYW, I was looking through my yearbook and noticed we were also on yearbook together
I am currently working for a school, and EVERYONE is hooked to the book, middle and high school students walk around with that book under their arms… I thought it was a book for teenagers only, but I guess I’ll give it a try; or maybe i’ll just watch the movie?
I really ought to read these books. Part of my teaching job used to be reading young adult literature; since I’ve moved from 6th grade to 4th, I don’t have a real excuse.
So I’ll just say I want to!
I was thinking the same thing about not sleeping, I would have time for a million hobbies!
The movie was good, NOT great.
oh, you totally forgot about what you find out in book #4…which is you can just have nookie for days and days on end because you don’t get tired or worn out or friction burn..EVER!! HEH
OK, so I wasn’t really into that book until I got about three quarters of the way through (I think it was the part where Edward takes Bella to meet his “family”) and then I stayed up half the night to finish it. Yeah, I’ll probably go see the movie at some point.
Oh, you’ve gotta try the Potter books…or at least listen to the audio books. Jim Dale performs exceptionally well on the audio books.
The dreamy actor you mentioned is in the fourth Harry Potter movie.
i also fell into the twilight hole and just re-emerged after finishing off breaking dawn yesterday. i haven’t seen the film yet but plan on going soon. btw- the beacon article did turn out great! she did a good job!