Birth day
As I embark on my 37th year of life, there’s one gift I’d love to have.
I’d love to quit the anxieties and negative thoughts that constantly ping-pong in my mind. I’d love to not feel self-conscious and awkward when I talk to people. I’d like to learn how to accept myself – faults and all.
Like most women, I am my toughest critic. When it comes to the ugly and hateful things I often say to myself, I realize I’d never say those things to someone else. In fact, if someone else were to say the same things to one of my friends or a family member? I’d give that person a verbal ass kicking.
A few days ago, my mother-in-law took me aside. She said she thinks I’m too hard on myself. That I downplay my strengths. I shouldn’t put myself down so much. I don’t know my worth.
That’s true.
So as I celebrate one more year under my belt. I hope to find inner peace. I hope I’ll learn how to gauge my strengths and accept my weaknesses. I hope to stop berating myself for mistakes everyone makes. I hope to quiet the nasty inner voice that tells me I’m not good enough, attractive enough, smart enough or just plain “enough.”
Life is too short. And I hope that next year, at this time, I can celebrate a rebirth of sorts.
Wish me luck. I’ll need it.
***
(We interrupt this post to pimp the projects I’ve been working on…) Now that the holiday season is upon us, may I recommend Wii’s Littlest Pet Shop game? Or maybe head over to Parent Bloggers Network to find out what’s being said about Hotwheels’ newest toys and three stories about a little fairy named Eve. Oh and a fellow St.L blogger (and friend) is being spotlighted on St. Louis Blogger’s Guild. Check it! And there’s a giveaway for a WordWorld bucket of blocks at my reviews site.
The support I received after this post was amazing. (Thankfully, the scary ordeal is no longer “scary” nor an “ordeal”.) But I wanted to thank everyone who took time to read the post and comment. So I’ll be thanking a group of people as a part of each post until I’ve thanked everyone.
So thanks to: Todd, Sarah and the Goon Squad, Alissa, Baltimore Girl, Veep Veep, Jen, Ruth Dynamite, Ali, Christine, Jess, Ben, Damselfly, Shandon Fowler, Toni, Chris, Josh, All Adither, Issa and Kyla.
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By abunslife, December 2, 2008 @ 9:51 pm
I wish you all the luck and love I have to offer….plus a little something on my blog….come and get it. I hope you had a nice birthday!! Thanks for talking so long the other day, I think we BOTH needed it!! Let’s do dinner soon. hugs.
By mayberry, December 2, 2008 @ 9:54 pm
I hope you have a very, very happy birthday!
By Average Jane, December 2, 2008 @ 10:03 pm
Happy Birthday! Wait until you turn 40; suddenly you won’t care what anyone thinks of you and you’ll be free to sail through life. Maybe you’ll be one of the lucky ones who starts early!
By Farrell, December 2, 2008 @ 10:34 pm
Happy Birthday!
And boy oh boy do I know about anxiety. That’s why I “heart” my Effexor:)
And confidence. Oh yes. Confidence. I’d feel I’d be a lot more confidence if:
-I’d stop getting zits already
-I’d lose 30 pounds
-I’d get laid more than 1x/year
-I’d actually have at least one successful romantic relationship
None of the above have happened so far, but there’s always next year, right?
Here’s hoping.
Happy Birthday! Hope it’s a good one. Hope you get to relax.
By Mrs. G., December 2, 2008 @ 11:30 pm
Your MIL is right. Life is short. Even if it feels creepy, say nice things to yourself in the mirror when you get ready in the morning.
By Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah, December 2, 2008 @ 11:50 pm
You are welcome. And happy birthday!
By Beth, December 3, 2008 @ 12:05 am
Happy Birthday! Reading your post, I was thinking, “Well, I just turned 39 and I’m finally, slowly but surely, starting to believe my own PR. Maybe 40 is the magic number.”
And then I saw Average Jane’s comment. So there we have it: 40 is magic! And Jane, clearly, is anything but average.
Isn’t it strange how women make a habit of building up others, but when it comes to believing in ourselves, it somehow feels selfish or indulgent? (For me, anyway. Sounds like for you, too.)
Go here ( http://www.marianne.com/ ) and scroll down to the purple box headed “A Return to Love.” Read it (or reread it, if you’ve read it before) and take it to heart.
By Anissa@Hope4Peyton, December 3, 2008 @ 12:15 am
Happy birthday.
If we can all celebrate you, you should be the one leading the dance!
Love and wishes for finding the parts of you that make you the happiest
By Gregg, December 3, 2008 @ 12:37 am
I need to get on the same boat you are getting on! If you are the reading type, I’d recommend “The Happiness Makeover” by M.J. Ryan. There are lots of useful snippets in there.
Also, you are totally “enough” in ALL the areas you mentioned. Accept it!
By Terra, December 3, 2008 @ 2:45 am
*poof your birthday wish is granted*
I wish I had that ability, Happy Birthday to you.
By Jakki, December 3, 2008 @ 2:21 pm
I love that idea. Sorta birthday gift to yourself.
Kudo’s to your mother in law.
By Kat, December 3, 2008 @ 3:53 pm
What a lovely MIL you have.
And it is true, we are all our own worst critic.
It is just a self taught practice like anything else. You have to stop the negative thoughts the minute they start to form. Practice concentrating on your positive qualities. Every day write down one thing that you like about yourself. Hopefully, the more you do it the easier it will be.
By Carrie, December 3, 2008 @ 4:24 pm
I’m rooting for you, Lisa! Happies of all the Birthdays to you.
By Tuesday, December 3, 2008 @ 7:13 pm
I heard that mostly woman can stop beating themselves up and really enjoy who tey are when they are in their 40s. I hope you can (and me too!) three years early.
Hope you had a great birthday woman!
By Traceytreasure, December 3, 2008 @ 7:23 pm
I have an award for you on my blog! Come and pick it up! You deserve it!!
I’m sending you an email too! I remember 37 like it was yesterday and I can tell you that it does get better, the age thing…..I should know!!
Happy, happy Birthday, Lisa
You are loved!!
Big hugs!!
By Kim, December 3, 2008 @ 7:49 pm
Well, I’m 40 and I have to say, I’m loving it, in spite of what life is throwing at me.
Happy Birthday!
By Michelle Cox, December 3, 2008 @ 9:54 pm
While you’re celebrating, you should also celebrate what sounds like a wonderful mother-in-law. I’ve got one too, and consider myself so lucky. It’s nice to have older women in our lives who can mentor us, particularly in the areas of accepting ourselves. Here’s wishing you a happy bday.
By Dana, December 3, 2008 @ 10:21 pm
Happy birthday lady!
By zookeeper, December 4, 2008 @ 12:05 am
Hope you get just what you want for your birthday. You deserve it!
By Ree, December 4, 2008 @ 2:00 am
Happy Birthday! And if I may say it, welcome to the best couple of decades of your life.
I always scoffed at people who told me that I would be happier between 35-55 than ever before. Now, though, I believe it. Because I believe in myself and everything that I’ve done in this world in my time. And without that, where are we?
Good on your MIL for helping you see that.
By Issa, December 4, 2008 @ 2:36 am
Happy birthday. I hope this year is a great one for you.
I think it’s something that all women do, some of us are just more gifted at it than others. But it’s a very worthy goal.
By Amber, December 4, 2008 @ 1:39 pm
Happy birthday, dearie. Glad to know someone gorgeous, witty and charming is my same age. Nice to know that is even possible.
By Kathy, December 5, 2008 @ 9:40 pm
Hope you had a great birthday. I am a big believer in you are only as old as you feel. Although some days life kicks my a** and I feel about 70 most days I still can’t believe I am knocking on 40(or as I refer to it my 2nd annual 39th birthday) Stop being so hard on yourself, you are now and have always beautiful both inside and outside. Hold you head up and embrace your fabulousity.
By Heather Lessiter, December 7, 2008 @ 2:44 am
Sorry I’m so late with this, but Happy Birthday!!! It is hard to love yourself- especially for Moms who try to put everyone else first. If its any consolation, there are so many of us out here in blogland that love you.
By Terra, December 7, 2008 @ 11:12 pm
You are hereby nominated for a butterfly award
By Hip Mom's Guide, December 9, 2008 @ 2:50 am
Happy Birthday; I hope you do, indeed, give yourself that wonderful gift.
By The Other Susan, December 9, 2008 @ 7:40 pm
Happy belated birthday, Lisa! Sorry I missed this. I’ve been very behind on reading blogs of late. My blog has went down the tubes. I’ve given up. But, I still have my favorite bloggers I like to keep up on - your one of them.
By Maria, December 14, 2008 @ 3:15 pm
Oh geez, happy SUPER belated birthday!! I’ve been off the grid lately, I think.
By work and travel, December 25, 2008 @ 3:19 am
Why this web site do not have other languages support?
By Josh, January 5, 2009 @ 11:33 pm
By Maltada egitim, October 24, 2009 @ 11:11 pm
Happppppppyy Birthday… Girll.. You got the jist.