How to tempt the fertility gods
In hindsight, this surprise pregnancy shouldn’t have been that much of a “surprise” to us. Looking back I realize we were teasing and taunting the fertility gods. They saw what was going on and decided, “Hey, that couple looks like they get at least seven consistent hours of sleep a night. And they seem to have some energy as well. I know! Let’s ensure she gets knocked up this month! That’ll fix THEIR wagon.”
Indeed it has.
I’m going to tell you exactly what happened. (Well, not the conception part.) And how you too can tempt the fertility gods (or avoid tempting the fertility gods).
1.) Lose weight. Get within two pounds of your pre-pregnancy weight. (Don’t recommend losing it the way I did tho. We are STILL triying to pay off the hospital bills. OY!)
2.) Find not one, but TWO perfect pairs of jeans. (That make your butt look good and you feel great.)
3.) Replace sensible shoes with a number of sexy high heeled shoes, strappy sandles and boots.
4.) Since you’ve lost that weight and found some kick ass jeans, you will need some closer fitting tops to show off smaller waistline. Buy many. Feel confident in doing so because you are POSITIVE you’ll never get pregnant again.
5.)While we’re on the clothing subject, get rid of maternity clothes, get rid of a bunch of baby clothes and give away stroller and stuff like that.
6.) Go out with your *feisty girl friends who love to have fun. Start doing this on a regular basis.
7.) Rediscover the hubby. Flirt more. Dance more. Laugh more. Find that your marriage is far healthier now (and more fun) than it has been in ages.
Viola! You should be pregnant within a few month’s time.
What’s the phrase? “We plan. God laughs.”
The support I received after this post was amazing. (Thankfully, the scary ordeal is no longer “scary” nor an “ordeal”.) But I wanted to thank everyone who took time to read the post and comment. So I’ll be thanking a group of people as a part of each post until I’ve thanked everyone. So thanks to: Sugar, Babybloomr, Xytrex, AMC, Cereal Dieter, qt, Amy in StL, Sugared Harpy, Rachel, Jennifer, Susan, Chris Cactus, Queen of the Mayhem, Jo, Mary, Tori, Maggie, Dammit, Heather, Michelle, WhyMommy, Carmasez, and Adventures in Babywearing,
*Feisty girlfriends (and our fun evenings out) have seen me through a lot of really tough stuff in 2008. Thank you Dana, Chris, Sarah, and Jess. btw- Tina? We miss you!
21 Comments
Other Links to this Post
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Fertility Guide: How Losing Weight Can Help You Have A Healthy Baby — January 26, 2009 @ 1:35 pm
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Motherofbun How to tempt the fertility gods | Menopause Relief — June 9, 2009 @ 12:03 am
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By Scott Cutter, January 23, 2009 @ 9:18 pm
I feel your pain….sigh.
By Kristin, January 23, 2009 @ 9:53 pm
#7… all comes together with number seven!
By The Other Dawn, January 23, 2009 @ 10:23 pm
Hey, that’s EXACTLY how I got knocked up, too. I fear those jeans will never fit again…
By Traceytreasure, January 23, 2009 @ 11:45 pm
Getting rid of every, single baby item including the baby spoons, cups and plates didn’t work for us!
We had to start all over, from scratch with the last one! I don’t recommend getting rid of ALL the baby stuff, unless you want another child! I have a shed full of baby stuff…for the grandkids and to keep the fertility gods away from my house!! LOL!!
Hugs!!
By Terra, January 24, 2009 @ 12:09 am
I am STILL laughing my rear off…
By liz, January 24, 2009 @ 1:06 am
i know i’ve been scarce in the blogging world (okay, i’ve gone off the map) but…HOLY CRAP! congratulations.
By Anissa@hope4peyton, January 24, 2009 @ 3:18 am
Yeah, add *do pilates 4 days a week* and you’d have the story of my 3rd….le sigh…CONGRATS though!
By jaelithe, January 24, 2009 @ 5:28 am
Hey, you could borrow some of the maternity clothes I’ve been keeping neatly folded and categorized in a box for four and a half years.
(Or will loaning you my clothes cause me to get pregnant? Oh, well. You can still borrow them. I like to live dangerously.)
By flutter, January 24, 2009 @ 6:33 am
you are so stinkin cute
By Erin, January 24, 2009 @ 11:42 am
Great post! Hubby and I have been trying for years to no avail. I will follow your steps and report back in 9 months! Congrats by the way!
By Adventures In Babywearing, January 24, 2009 @ 2:21 pm
Ha- so funny ’cause it’s true!! : )
Steph
By Mirinda, January 24, 2009 @ 3:12 pm
After birthing three kids in just under 3.5 years DH and I definitely decided God has a wonderful since of humor.
By pgoodness, January 24, 2009 @ 3:18 pm
This is EXACTLY why I’m not going on a diet!!
By Carrie, January 24, 2009 @ 7:09 pm
I think you’re on to something Lisa!
By HollowSquirrel, January 24, 2009 @ 10:57 pm
OH girlie. All those cool new clothes gone to waste… I’ll take them off your hands if I must!
I wish I hadn’t given away all of my maternity clothes; I’m sorry! CONGRATULATIONS again! This is so amazing.
By Zephra, January 25, 2009 @ 6:29 am
#5 is the best way to get pregnant. Worked 3 times for me.
By Caffeinatrix, January 25, 2009 @ 10:29 pm
You’re scaring me. Some of these items are hitting a little too close to home!
By Damon, January 27, 2009 @ 12:56 am
Good advice, you just have to go on and enjoy life…..though my wife and I are past the baby stage of life, I remember.
You REALLY didn’t get rid of the stroller, clothes, etc…did you?? haha
By zookeeper, January 27, 2009 @ 3:27 am
I’m pretty sure #5 is what did it for us. I had a garage sale where I sold a ton of baby stuff. Whatever was left over was donated. Two weeks later…guess what?? Yes, God does have a sense of humor!!