All you need is love… (And sometimes a little Ambien)

You have been an elusive little minx for quite some time now. A first you started teasing me in my 20’s here and there but now in my mid 30’s, you’ve decided to really put the screws to me. Sure you’d let me catch you for a little bit but usually only for a few broken hours throughout the course of an evening.

Once I saw a sleep doctor in hopes of success. He proposed staying away from you on purpose for several nights. The theory would be that after awhile I’d be so tired, you’d come and wash over me. That didn’t happen. In fact, I got so tired that one night I accidentally slammed my hand in the car door. What’s sad is that it took a few seconds to figure out WHY I was inadvertently tethered to the car. (My hand was still stuck in the door.) It took a few more seconds to process the “OUCH!” part.  Not good.

Oh sure, over the years, I’ve taken other meds in an effort to trap you but those left me feeling all groggy. I hear how you’ve been visiting lots of other people I know. I’ve felt like the only girl in the neighborhood who’s still not gotten her boobs. Completely frustrated, confused and utterly left out.

But the fact of the matter is… I need you. I can’t live without you. You not being in my life has caused me to be an overemotional crankypants from the netherworlds that has trouble stringing a sentence together. So I decided I was going to DO something about this little problem.

Thanks to Ambien, YOU ARE NOW MY BITCH. You are like a horny teen boy. Ambien is like the easy girl you are attracted to. Because within a few minutes of closing my eyes, you take hold of me. And you don’t let go for hours upon hours. (Ok. Maybe you aren’t like a teenage boy. I don’t think they can “last” 10 minutes, let alone 6 or 7 hours.)

But anyway… You’ve got to deal with me now — whether you like it or not. HAHAHAHA!

– Lisa

(Have been going over some old posts. Am amazed at how many times I complained about not sleeping and having migraines. Life is SO MUCH better when you get solid sleep on a regular basis. And although I’ve a script for the lowest dose possible, half a pill each night does the job. Hopefully 2009 will see me sleeping well and Ambien-free!)

This is where I pimp my recent finished projects: What did bloggers think of Positive Spin’s newest books? Check Parent Bloggers to find out. And if you still need a gift idea for that little car enthusiast in your life, check this out. There’s lots of new reviews (like for Nature’s Gate and Shop.com) and info about MomCentral’s Holiday Shopping Guide at Midwestern Mommy Reviews. Oh check out the giveaway too – You can check the special giveaway I published on therowingmachinedoctor.com (The Iron fitness home machine).

Can Penis Pumping really grow your penis?

Most men wish they had a bigger erect penis. But they don’t know how to get it. This is the how. Find a few inexpensive parts, and start making your penis bigger.

To understand penis pumping, you first need to understand principles used in medicine to achieve tissue growth, and you must understand the anatomy of the penis.

Doctors and therapists use the principle of traction to grow skin, other soft tissue, and even bone. In traction pressure is applied to body tissue, and over time, the tissue grows or moves to take on a new relaxed condition. One common example of traction occurs naturally during pregnancy. The skin of a womans’ stomach actually increases in size when the child grows within her because of the pressure placed against it from within. Nearly all human tissue can be made to grow under traction. A secondary cause of growth (and usually only supplemental to traction) is to increase the blood flow to the tissue for a time to maximize the potential for growth.

A penis is made of spongy tissue that can become erect when it fills with blood. It stays erect because the returning blood vessels become constricted when a man is aroused, and the blood cannot escape back into the body. This swelling with blood does create pressure, but the pressure isn’t enough to put the penis under traction and cause permanent growth.

Furthermore, ligaments in the body attach to the penis near it’s base. These ligaments are responsible for the “stance” of the erect penis. Tight ligaments can cause the penis to point upward, while loose ligaments can cause it to point forward or down. Ultimately, these ligaments are responsible for keeping your penis attached to your body, but are also a limiting factor in how far from your body your penis can extend, and thereby effect the length of your penis. Careful stretching exercises employ traction to loosen and ultimately grow these ligaments to allow your penis to extend further from the body. Some men actualy have these ligaments surgically cut to achieve even greater penis lengths, but thereafter the penis is unsupported both while flacid, and erect. Nobody wants a floppy penis during sex. Even stretching can cause tearing or damage to your ligaments and you should be very careful if you choose to stretch.

Using a penis pump creates a vacuum area of lower pressure around your erect penis. This causes the penis tissue to engorge with more blood that it would be able to on it’s own. This extra blood exerts pressure on the the spongy tissue and the skin. This stretching pressure must be maintained for a short period of time so the tissues can become stimulated to grow. The process must be repeated on a regular basis.

Every penis has a limited growth potential. You simply cannot grow your penis forever. A penis pumping regiment can result in quick gains, but then the growth will slow. To overcome this slowing of growth and to maximize the gains that your penis is capable of achieving, alternate your regiment with a few days of rest (no pumping).

You can over-pump your penis in two ways. Either way can result in minor or major injury. Just as sucking forcefully on the skin of your arm can draw blood droplets to the surface of the skin and cause a hickey or bruise, pumping with too much pressure can also create bruising. This is a fairly minor problem and the bruising and will go away within a day or two. But it is a sign that you are using too much pressure too soon. Far too much pressure can even rupture large blood vessels. This can be serious. Therefore, great caution is advised. Proper procedure and common sense keeps pumping safe and effective.

Equipment

Many pumps exist. They are NOT all the same. Each has two basic components. A cylinder to place your penis in, and a vacuum pump.

Vacuum pumps come in two styles. The soft rubber “medical bulb” style which is used on blood pressure sleeves, and a lever-squeeze pump with a gage. The bulb style pumps are worthless. They’re designed to pump air IN to something–not to pump air out. The lever-squeeze pumps are frequently too expensive. However, the exact same vacuum pumps can be purchased at a low cost from an auto parts store. They are sold as Brake Bleeding Kits or Fluid Evacuation Kits or Hand Vacuum Pump Kits.

I’m including a picture. You’ll pay between 25 and 35 dollars for this pump. You can alternately order the Mityvac 7000 pump from amazon.com

You will only need the pump, and one of the hoses.

A penis pump cylinder is just a cylinder with a nipple at one end (where the air is sucked out) and a rubber sleeve at the other end, the open end. The sleeve should be tight enough to fit snugly around your penis and maintain a vacuum seal without letting air get back into the cylinder, but should obviously not be so small your penis does not fit in. The cylinder mus also be slightly longer than the length you desire to achieve.