In a few days, hordes of women will descend upon San Francisco for BlogHer. Many will party like rock-stars. (’Specially the women who are away from their children for several days.) There will be laughter, girl shrieks, lots of fun, cool swag, and probably sprinkles of drama/controversy thrown in for good measure. And I’m gonna miss it. I’m bummed.

But I have good reasons for missing it this year. All financial. Exhibit A. The rotting porch/posts that need to be fixed to the tune of several thousand dollars.

And Exhibit B. This is the rotting retaining wall that needs to be fixed. (Along the lines of $11,000-15,000 — if we’re lucky.) OUCH.

Also? Hubby needs a different vehicle. Oh and guess what? We’re in the process of finalizing a will and trust. (Holy Hell!Those are so NOT cheap!)

So financially strapped are we.*** (Ramen noodles for everyone!) But this is probably a good thing for YOU since I get really nervous around people I don’t know and inadvertently pile on the make-up in hopes of making a good impression. (Probably to compensate for my lack of self-esteem and confidence?) And then I end up looking like a tranny clown. Add to this the fact that I’m guaranteed at least one migraine due to the schedule upheaval/flight and wham! I end up looking like a cracked-out tranny clown. Oh yeay!

But you all will bring back great stories and photos, right? RIGHT? Have fun.

*** Please don’t take this post to mean I’m boo-hooing over our financial stuff. I knew we’d have a bunch of big ticket items coming up and have been planning accordingly. 

Oh and there’s a post over at Midwestern Mommy Reviews about yaknow…. Leakage. And how it sucks and is embarrassing. It also includes one woman’s issue and her quest to find a better answer. You know, instead of suffering then letting the doctor blow you off

Now matter what stage you are at in life, or where you are headed? You are not alone.

This is the message that continuously comes back to me when reading the many, many wonderful bloggers out there. No matter what your situation? Odds are someone who has a blog has experienced or is now experiencing that same thing. We are all connected in some way.

I recently participated in a slideshow for WhyMommy. She’s got an amazing group of people who’ve been cheering her on in her fight with breast cancer. Some of the people in the slideshow are friends from high school, friends from her MOMs group, bloggers and even relatives of hers. If you are interested in viewing the slideshow, go for it. If you are interested in knowing the bloggers who participated, keep scrolling. (For some reason this blog design doesn’t really show when I link someone. So now I bold those words, just so you know.)

(Sign holders)

Dear - Marty

Susan - Kristie

We - Amy

Thinking - Heather

You - Jean

Lots - Jessica

We - Kristen

You - Robin

Our - Amanda

Support - Fertile Mertile

Prayers - Liz

and - JJ

Love - Jenn

Us - Jess 

All - Rebecca

For - Nancy

That - A bun’s life

Team - Sarah

(If I’ve forgotten any bloggers, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!)

(Cheering Section)

 Cathy and Nancy and myself.

There were even people who really wanted to participate but couldn’t as peeps unfortunately had been given a very short window of time. Amie and Sanne from the Netherlands support and adore Whymommy too!

And thanks to Marty (aka Canape) who was, at one point, a day away from having her baby and still good natured enough to answer the barrage of e-mails I sent her.

(This post is dedicated to Marty, who just gave birth to a little boy as well as Julie, who’s pregnant with a little boy.) 

There are certain things about parenting a little boy that you don’t think about when you’ve got one “in the oven” and are lovingly folding little blue onesies in anticipation.

Like how little boy babies smell so sweet. But that scent wears off as they grow. And soon, you find that sweaty little boy smells alot like wet puppy.

Or how a man’s love for the remote control starts as an infant. See this pic? (Click on it to enlarge.)  That’s how we got Seth to roll over. Put the remote control JUST out of his reach. 

You probably already know that little boys LOVE their wieners. And how as toddlers, if they aren’t playing with it, they are showing it off. A bath for a toddler boy just means quality time with the wiener without impediments. Some little boys, (I won’t mention names) even like to sleep with one hand in their pants. My only guess is that they are trying to ensure their beloved body part isn’t stolen by some hapless creature with penis envy in the thick of night.

And of course there’s that time when those little boys are finally potty trained. A novice mom like me rejoiced thinking this would mean less work. But a mom who’s been down this path knows better.  (She might not tell you this but I will.) Little boys have HORRIBLE aim. Actually, alot of MEN have horrible aim. This just means that instead of changing a diaper? You are wiping down walls, the side of the vanity, natches in the trim, the toilet, underneath the bowl, the sides of the toilet, the wastebasket, and the toilet paper holder and the floor. If your child has some serious “water pressure”? You may even be wiping down the sink or mirror. In this case, hardwood floors aren’t really a good idea.  Oy.

But those little boys sure are cute. And cuddly. And loving. Be prepared for the marriage proposals your young Oedipus will make as well as the countless dandelions he will diligently pick for you on a summer day. Be prepared for the way he will rush to your defense if you’re pretending to the “the queen” and his dad is “the bad guy” trying to kidnap you. Sure, he might mention your “biiiiiigggg butt” now and again, but he’ll also say things like “You are the prettiest mommy eber” then kiss your nose. What woman can resist that?

And should your son become interested Star Wars? I’m telling you right now… There’s no such thing as “too many” light sabers.

Today Whymommy is in surgery to remove the aggressive cancer she discovered last year.  

Years ago when Susan and WonderDaddy married, my mom cut out their wedding announcement then taped it to the fridge for me to see the next time I visited.  (For those who don’t know, WonderDaddy and I grew up in the same small town and were in the same grade school class — a class comprised of 26 kids. So when a former classmate has a baby or gets married, I usually find out through mom.)

I remember stopping by the fridge when I caught a glimpse of a familiar last name. I remember reading the write-up then taking a minute to examine the black and white photo.  While the couple’s picture was small, it was obvious that the love and happiness felt by the two was vast and deep. I remember seeing an enormous amount of pride in WonderDaddy’s eyes and thinking, “she must be an incredible woman to have captured his heart like that!”

I never thought I’d get a chance to get to know this bride with the beautiful smile. But I did, as have many others.  Susan has managed to give so many of us a precious gift while she battles cancer. Time and time again, she’s given us a glimpse into who she is. She’s given us the gift of perspective, wisdom, hope and humor. Time and time again, I think of my old classmate and can understand how he fell so very head-over-heels in love.

Thank you Canape for inspiring me (as well as a bunch of other women) to write about Susan on this day.

You know what’s really wild (and wonderful) in this here blogosphere? When you visit a new blogger, see she’s from St. Louis then see a photo of her son sitting on a retaining wall. And you have a strange, strong feeling she lives in your area of the county. So you ask her. And find out she lives five minutes away from you. And that you pass by her subdivision fairly regularly.

You know what’s also really wild? When you hear about the wife of a grade school classmate having IBC and you start thinking… Based on what little you know about this old classmate… Could his wife be the always amazing WhyMommy – a blogger you’ve admired from afar for a very long time? What are the odds? But you have this really strange, strong feeling that it could be her. So you take a risk and e-mail her. And then you find out that Yes! You went to kindergarten through eighth grade with WhyMommy’s husband! In fact, you even had a crush on him at some point. And the whole thing is really wild because there were maybe 11 girls and 13 boys in the entire class!

And then you realize…. WhyMommy’s in-laws were at your little brother’s wedding. You watched them polka. (They can do a mean polka.) And? Your little brother, through his marriage, is now RELATED to WhyMommy! Oh, and one of WhyMommy’s aunts? Was your first grade teacher. So cool!

Oh and another cool thing… Is Nina Garcia’s “Little Black Book of Style“. If you’re interested, read a review on behalf of Parent Bloggers Network.

Newsflash: Slackermommy’s birthday is today. Wish her a happy one, will ya! 

Dear Facebook,

When my mom first joined, she thought you were so cool and fun!  I was really happy for her. I was all, “Wow!”

But then I heard that you have deleted photos of moms breastfeeding because you think they are “lewd” and “indecent”. Yet you allow others to post photos of naked breasts. You also have no problem with the many, many pro-ana groups that are also on Facebook. And? I just found out you don’t ban pedophiles.

I’m not very happy about this.

Actually? No one at our house is.

So my friends and I have decided to get together.

And send you a message. We’re seriously considering kicking YOU out of our lives — if you don’t shape up soon. And if that ends up being the case….

Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

Sincerely,

A kid who was breastfed for the first seven months of his life — five years ago. (And his mom)

 P.S. Boob juice rules! And so does the League of Maternal Justice.

On Monday, Seth and I met up with blog bud Kristie, aka Slackermommy and her brood. Why yes! She and her family ARE as cool as her blog. And fun too!

Through some conversations a few months ago, we learned we live a mere 10 minutes from each other. How weird is that? So when the kids didn’t have school on Monday, she was kind enough to invite Seth and I ovah to her very pretty house.

Her son Conner is about seven months older than Seth. They hit it off within five minutes of us walking through the door. We also got to meet her beautiful daughters, Madeline, Isabella, and the baby Marigrace. (Much to my chagrin, Seth decided that was a PERFECT day to go commando. So being that he doesn’t have enough butt to keep his pants up, almost everyone in her family got at least one eyeful of Seth’s butt crack. Sigh.) As for us mommies? I’m pretty sure there was not even two consecutive seconds of silence. Yeah, we did alot of gabbing.

Haikus

Oh little boy Seth
Your toys litter various rooms.
PLEASE, please pick them up.

Black, white and spotted
Abbeydog, get OFF the bed.
And please barf outside.

My dear Honeybuns
I love you so much more when –
you aren’t so gassy.

Oh lovely Dyson
A quite talented vaccum –
well worth the money.

Cool bloggin’ mommies
Reading your posts keep me sane.
I love all of you.